Children drowning on holiday.

My school friend's family had a pool in their garden. One day her mum was taking laundry upstairs and left her toddler sister watching TV downstairs. The mum happened to glance out the upstairs window to see the toddler face down in the pool - the mum jumped out the window into the pool and got her out, but could so easily not have seen her. She didn't even know she was outside let alone in the pool. Fortunately she was OK, it could have been very different. The rules on pools being securely fenced in Aus are very sensible.

IMO half the trouble nowadays is parents who kid themselves they’re watching their kids, but for much of the time they’re glued to their phones.

As someone whose under 2 very nearly drowned at an unsupervised pool (while I had my back turned very briefly, collecting up wet towels, toys etc. I am all too painfully aware of how quickly and easily it can happen. I will never forget pulling her from the water*. face, staring eyes, not breathing.
*It was just the very shallow ‘baby’ end of the pool, too.

This exactly @ShesTheAlbatross it’s 4-6 adults all 90% watching that I think can be so risky. The 10% distracted time can combine and suddenly no one is watching

I agree OP and my heart goes out to them. I’ve always been very strict on 100% watching in water - if I’m with DH and/or more adults then we take 30 minutes ‘shifts’ where you 100% watch the children and don’t try to simultaneously relax, read a book or whatever. And take turns. I refuse to go on beach/ pool type holidays without a kids club for this exact reason so I can get an actual break in a way that is safe.

Agree with what others have said about cultural difference. My au pair is Australian and is VERY on it with water safety.

As a teenager, I was a beach lifeguard. And I once rescued a small child out of the sea when her mum was stood within arms reach of her, but hadn't picked up on the subtle signs that she was in distress. To this day I don't know what made me look as I was scanning the beach, but I saw the child wasn't having fun splashing her mum any more, was tired and trying to keep herself above water. I ran in, picked her up and carried her out, she burst into tears, her mum shouted at me (then came back to apologise once the adrenaline had worn off).

Kids can be taught from a very young age what to do if they're worried in water (stop splashing, roll onto your back, relax and breathe), and parents need to watch videos of kids in distress in water so they know what to look for.

I would hate for any parent who had been affected by this to see this, it feels very judgemental

On holiday, I've had a young child come into the pool without an adult and I've felt obliged to remain until he left, about 7 Yr old and very poor swimmer, he stayed for 20 mins and left on his own account. I have a holiday home with communal pool and on occasion I've left the pool area as can't relax with unaccompanied young children who are non / poor swimmers. I am surprised there are not more drownings when on holidays, adults appear to forget their job when on holiday

This.
Doesn't every parent have near misses whether water related or other?
We had two near misses. When DC were little DH and I did shifts on "lifeguard duty".
When DS1 was 2 we stayed in an apartment complex with gated gardens. As we arrived and were unpacking DS slipped out of the gate and ran hell for leather towards the pool. DH ran after him and scooped him up just as he was about to leap in
When DS2 was 3 we were in Greece. Walking back from the beach and stopped off at a taverna for lunch. As we walked in through a gate there was a swimming pool and DS just literally walked into the pool. It was the deep end and he sank. DH jumped in fully clothed and fished him out.

There used to be someone on MN that posted every year about "drowning doesn't look like drowning". Link

It honestly is not a relaxing holiday with kids that age. Can be great, but you have to be alert 100 per cent of the time. Not just pools. Dodgy wiring, etc.

Many years ago I think I nearly became one of these casualties.

I was on a Lilo and had paddled got out of my depth, I remember looking down and could see the rocks and seaweed a long way down. My brother came and rescued me. To this day I don't know if he spotted me or my parents. It can happen so quickly

I think the fact you say it was just you does make it a bit easier. I wonder if often in tragedies like this, both parents are half watching because they assume the other is paying attention. If you had, say, 4 adults (parents and grandparents) sitting around talking at the pool, no one has their full attention on the children and are probably all thinking “well there’s four adults to two children, of course it’s fine and supervised”. But then one person goes to the loo, the other needs to send a text, two are distracted by a conversation and suddenly no one even has half an eye on the children.
One parent alone knows no one else is watching.

How so? I grew up in Europe, had my swimming lessons in Europe and never had any issues or known anyone that has had issues. Obviously this doesn’t apply to toddlers, but school aged children. Most drownings seem to be either in the sea or rivers, which people tend to underestimate (even locals unfortunately).

If anything I constantly wonder if in the UK they drag learning how to swim for so long that it actually hinders the kids. All my coworkers keep saying their children have been in swimming lessons for 1+ years, unless you’re getting into competitive swimming I struggle to understand why it takes so long.

My Ds (now 20) had a close call when he was 2, and I was right there! Still makes me feel sick all these years later. He was next to me poolside with his armbands and rubber ring. I reached into my bag to get a towel, looked up and he was gone. In the space of 10 seconds maximum he had pulled the armbands off his arms, and jumped in the pool. I saw his blond hair and an arm reaching out. I jumped in, dragged him out. He was fine, but my fucking god. Literally had my head turned for seconds with him next to me.

I saw a picture once where it showed the colour of swimwear most likely to camouflage a child underwater and the colour moat likely to make them seen.

My kids ended up in florescent orange rash vests because of that poster!

I also saw a video of a young child drowning, they were about 9, it was in Thailand or something. There were hoardes of adults in the pool just a couple of feet away and none of them noticed. Luckily a life guard did and saved them.

I also have experienced it. Went to my sil house, her kid was about 2yo and my eldest was 12. Sil got progressively drunk and didn't care that her 2yo was keeping going into the deep hottub. I was watching him constantly, but eventually needed to pee. Told my sil I was stepping away, and grabbed nephew out the hottub. Next thing I know I'm turning to walk into the house and my DD shouts I turn just in time to see her, fully clothed, jump in and drag nephew off the bottom of the hottub, the second my back was turned hed jumped straight back in. Sil was stood right there, next to it, glass of wine in hand, watching but I guess too drunk to react or realise what she was seeing???

Thank goodness for my daughter, to this day (she's 16 now) I tell her she saved her cousins life that day. My sil, doesn't even remember it happening. I vividly remember him coughing and spluttering. Sil is still a drunk (a whole other thread) but we did persuade her to get rid of the hotub at least.

I completely agree with you. My 4 year old doesn't wear armbands anymore as he can 'swim' but I am always in the water with him. If it's a shallow pool, where he can stand, I might be at the end of the pool instead of in the water but I am still watching him like a hawk.

I see far too many children in deep pools with armbands on when the parents are sunning themselves. It's absolutely disgusting!

I don't know what happened here but it's very sad.

That’s why the doors were locked until the vests were on correctly.

I was impressed when we bought one of those blow-up pools for the garden last year (from B&M, I think) and I found it came with an ID card on a lanyard that stated the wearer was the adult officially in charge/on duty of watching the kids. Like PP have mentioned, I believe risk increases when there’s a group thinking there’ll always be someone watching the children. It’s always ‘somebody’ else, oddly enough.

Indeed. We live by the sea and last week, were standing on the prom observing people on the beach. A woman took her toddler (probably aged about 2) on the beach and whilst she was setting down their things, laying a blanket down, etc, the child had charged off towards the sea - he was about 80 away from her before she realised and VERY close to the sea. She set off (not very quickly, I have to say) after him and if he hadn't been distracted by a dog further along/parallel, he'd defintely have been in the sea before she reached him.

I got scared the shit out of a few years ago on holiday - I was watching the kids who were doing a session in an indoor pool on inflatables. There were 3 kids in the pool so it was almost empty.

I was watching my two from the side, and there was an 'instructor' and a lifeguard. I turned from watching one child to the other, genuinely would've been about 2 seconds, saw the lifeguard behind them taking his shoes off and wondered why. In those 2 seconds, my youngest had slipped off the inflatable and gone in. Luckily he was pulled straight out, no harm done, but it is SO hard to watch constantly.

Edit- that doesn't mean we shouldn't all try, and take active responsibility!

Accidents happen to good parents and it's very very important to remember that.

Their was a Mum on here years ago whose child had died in a tragic accident. She said that she'd always walked on the roadside of the pavements with them on the inside and held their hand. She was a good and diligent mother, but she still lost her child in a tragic accident (not a road accident). I have never forgotten her story or her lesson. There but for the Grace of God go I and go ALL of us.

in a lot of circumstances you have to be really careful with life vests (especially those ones with the arms that just allow small toddlers to effortlessly swim) they can give children such a false sense of security that they can just jump straight into deep water and be able to swim.

This. I've had a near miss and I WAS in the pool with them.

My boss has a holiday home in Spain. The rule is the doors are kept locked and only opened if his grandkids have their life vests on. The kids run in and out and jump in the pool and there is no fear as they just float. I saw a kid on holiday with a similar little life vest on next to the hotel pool.

Agreed you have to be so so careful. We went on holiday to a gite with a pool when youngest was 3. At some point she had her armbands off and for whatever reason decided to walk into the pool without them, takes a split second. Obviously we were always watching so I was straight in and grabbed her. Was so quick, if someone hadn't been watching could so easily have been a different story.

That's devastating.

I 'saved' two toddlers on a recent holiday. The first one was right by her mum on steps, the toddler's older sibling got hurt and took their mum's attention for a few seconds and the toddler went down the steps and under. I fished her out.

The second toddler was left in the pool on her own on a lilo. She went to get off on the edge and fell in the pool. I was in the pool and fished her out and put her on the edge. She ran off and I couldn't see any parents watching her or nearby.