Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think it is polite to ask first?

137 replies

Brownthosebrownonionsbrown · 06/06/2025 09:03

Fuming

BF (few months relationship) invited me over to his for a meal, home made thai curry, so far so good. He plated it up in the kitchen and brought the food to me with all of the curry and sauce on top of the rice, when I like to have them side by side and have some clean rice as a palate cleanser.

Its just good manners and basic rice etiquette to ask first. I cannot believe I was dating such a neanderthal. He even tried to gas light me, saying that it doesn't make any difference and basically trying to invalidate my feelings and lived experience.

Eugh men

OP posts:
Pinkcountrybumpkin · 06/06/2025 13:56

Long as he knows for next time. Once is excusable 😂

LifeReallyIsTooShort · 06/06/2025 13:44

You need help

MasterBeth · 06/06/2025 13:44

It depends.

Was there any clean rice at all? Could you not scoop/manoeuvre underlying rice from below? If not, I think you have bigger problems i.e. the rice/sauce ratio was all wrong.

DiscontentedPig · 06/06/2025 13:43

No self-respecting Neanderthal would eat rice with a curry. Foraged wild grains or nothing.

BlueandPinkSwan · 06/06/2025 13:41

Only reading OP to know this is not funny what so ever.
If this was true and I doubt it, I feel sorry for her fella.
Bridge is that way love.

ThatCyanCat · 06/06/2025 13:41

Log it with 101.

FlightCommanderPRJohnson · 06/06/2025 13:39

Agree - see also, pouring gravy over the whole dish if it's a roast. I decide where I want gravy.

Tortielady · 06/06/2025 13:32

ILoveMyCaravan · 06/06/2025 12:47

I always plate my homemade curry and rice side by side, just neatly touching…

As soon as DH is presented with it he gets his fork and mixes it all together like a cement mixer! Unbelievable! 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

He is depraved and you should bin him out immediately. Didn't you know about his weird culinary habits when you married him? Does he also prefer cheddar to parmesan on his spag bol? No wonder the world's going to hell in a handcart 😁

NotTonightDeidre · 06/06/2025 13:22

OP, I'm sorry you had to experience this, it's simply unacceptable & I'd question the relationship going forward.

Fwiw, a good quality chardonnay makes a good pallete cleanser....

And a mallet can come in handy for BF cleansing. 👀

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 06/06/2025 13:22

Jokes aside, IMO unless it’s for close family, when you know much they like, plating up should be banned anyway. How can anyone know exactly how much someone else would like?

(I dare say I’m influenced by gruesome memories of a SiL giving me a huge plated-up helping of couscous and very fatty lamb. 🤮)

NotTonightDeidre · 06/06/2025 13:19

Username532687 · 06/06/2025 12:49

The only food my husband ever "cooked" was a microwave curry which he mixed completely together. When I was surprised, he denied mixing it and said it came like that. I later looked at the box and found he lied.

And you're still with him?

Definitely LTB

JudgeJ · 06/06/2025 13:17

No3392 · 06/06/2025 09:12

The world is so fucked it's difficult to distinguish between real and jokes.

It's not out of the realms of possibility that this be true.

But I'm going to assume you're joking. To what end, I'm not sure.

One reads so much batshit stuff on MN it really is hard to distinguish the jokey posts from the simply barmy!

MascaraGirl · 06/06/2025 13:16

I think this counts an emotional abuse. Have you tried the Freedom programme?

RightOnTheEdge · 06/06/2025 13:13

I don't like my curry covering my rice either OP.
YANBU. Your post made me laugh.
You forgot that you have to put LIGHTHEARTED!!! on posts now for the posters who think all posts must be serious and worthy/have no reading comprehension 🥱🙄

NotTonightDeidre · 06/06/2025 13:10

Renabrook · 06/06/2025 09:12

Get out now, you can't be in the presence of a man without a chaperone

Why does the man need a chaperone? Is OP going to do something untoward in her rice etiquette fuelled rage?

Kelticgold · 06/06/2025 13:08

He should use a sausage as a breakwater.

BillStickersWillBeProsocuted · 06/06/2025 13:04

Don't noodle the poor guy over it

BexAubs20 · 06/06/2025 13:01

Surely this is a joke/ for attention post?

Pherian · 06/06/2025 13:00

Brownthosebrownonionsbrown · 06/06/2025 09:03

Fuming

BF (few months relationship) invited me over to his for a meal, home made thai curry, so far so good. He plated it up in the kitchen and brought the food to me with all of the curry and sauce on top of the rice, when I like to have them side by side and have some clean rice as a palate cleanser.

Its just good manners and basic rice etiquette to ask first. I cannot believe I was dating such a neanderthal. He even tried to gas light me, saying that it doesn't make any difference and basically trying to invalidate my feelings and lived experience.

Eugh men

This can’t be real. You sound insane.

Wishimaywishimight · 06/06/2025 12:59

I would always check! DH hates his curry on top of the rice, prefers them side by side however I like it all mixed up together!

It's one of those things you learn about each other as you go along 🙂

BlotAnExpert · 06/06/2025 12:57

Username532687 · 06/06/2025 12:49

The only food my husband ever "cooked" was a microwave curry which he mixed completely together. When I was surprised, he denied mixing it and said it came like that. I later looked at the box and found he lied.

LTB

BlotAnExpert · 06/06/2025 12:57

Viviennemary · 06/06/2025 11:50

You sound like an overfussy entitled pain in the neck. If a man complained about how his food was served he would be rightly lambasted.

You sound like someone with no sense of humour 😘

Username532687 · 06/06/2025 12:49

The only food my husband ever "cooked" was a microwave curry which he mixed completely together. When I was surprised, he denied mixing it and said it came like that. I later looked at the box and found he lied.

ILoveMyCaravan · 06/06/2025 12:47

I always plate my homemade curry and rice side by side, just neatly touching…

As soon as DH is presented with it he gets his fork and mixes it all together like a cement mixer! Unbelievable! 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

deadpantrashcan · 06/06/2025 11:56

Gaslight over a curry… 🤣🤣🤣