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AIBU?

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to think it is polite to ask first?

137 replies

Brownthosebrownonionsbrown · 06/06/2025 09:03

Fuming

BF (few months relationship) invited me over to his for a meal, home made thai curry, so far so good. He plated it up in the kitchen and brought the food to me with all of the curry and sauce on top of the rice, when I like to have them side by side and have some clean rice as a palate cleanser.

Its just good manners and basic rice etiquette to ask first. I cannot believe I was dating such a neanderthal. He even tried to gas light me, saying that it doesn't make any difference and basically trying to invalidate my feelings and lived experience.

Eugh men

OP posts:
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Phoenixfire1988 · 08/06/2025 12:54

This has GOT to be rage bait i refuse to believe anyone is this ungrateful and self absorbed 😅
If its real that man needs to run far and fast because you're clearly an absolute nightmare

InterestedDad37 · 07/06/2025 21:36

When serving curry, I first make the plate 50/50 down the middle, rice one side, curry down the other. Then, using a food-grade yak horn, with two quick swipes I make it into a yin/yang (Taijitu) pattern. I find this impresses ... erm ... me 🤔🍛

Sweetcupcakes16 · 07/06/2025 20:42

He needs to run from you

uncomfortablydumb60 · 07/06/2025 11:46

I missed the irony, apologies

uncomfortablydumb60 · 07/06/2025 11:45

Are you serious? I'd compliment him on his cuisine. Call me a heathen but I mix the rice in anyway.. it's called Biriani
I send him strength. He might decide you're too much like hard work if you can be like this over a curry

Flozle · 07/06/2025 11:37

You think you have problems? Mine puts the sauce on top of the pasta 😱 He does not reserve a mug of water to emulsify the sauce and finish it off by tossing it in the pan all together.

He says that’s how he likes it, but then says my pasta is so much nicer, yet refuses to try the proper my method. 🙄

HoldmecloseTonyDanza · 07/06/2025 10:51

Cucy · 07/06/2025 09:19

I think it’s just a joke.

I think the live-in private chef is too.

Cucy · 07/06/2025 09:19

MasterBeth · 07/06/2025 08:58

The verge of divorcing? That is a massive over-reaction to a plating issue.

May I suggest that there may be less drastic action you could take to avoid such an outcome like couples counselling or getting a live-in private chef.

I think it’s just a joke.

Cucy · 07/06/2025 09:18

Mothership4two · 07/06/2025 04:37

BF

😂😂

I’m so annoyed they’ve taken the laughing emoji away.

MasterBeth · 07/06/2025 08:58

Newname71 · 06/06/2025 20:35

I’m on the verge of divorcing DH for a similar thing… I like my food side by side. Fish fingers, chips and beans the other night….looked like he’d thrown it onto the plate from the other side of the room! 😂
ETA. We’ve been together 27 years so don’t hold your breath OP. It won’t get any better.

Edited

The verge of divorcing? That is a massive over-reaction to a plating issue.

May I suggest that there may be less drastic action you could take to avoid such an outcome like couples counselling or getting a live-in private chef.

Brownthosebrownonionsbrown · 07/06/2025 07:58

Username532687 · 06/06/2025 12:49

The only food my husband ever "cooked" was a microwave curry which he mixed completely together. When I was surprised, he denied mixing it and said it came like that. I later looked at the box and found he lied.

Oh gosh It’s more common than I realized, how am I supposed to find someone who meets my standards? Feeling depressed now

OP posts:
whynotmereally · 07/06/2025 06:27

Im with you op it has to be separate. Same with spag bol.

Toddlerteaplease · 07/06/2025 05:40

alcoholnightmare · 06/06/2025 09:11

Maybe next time take round your own plastic toddler plate with the separate section bits?

😂😂

Mothership4two · 07/06/2025 04:37

BF

Night Museum GIF
Mothership4two · 07/06/2025 04:31

LTB

TheAutumnCrow · 07/06/2025 04:04

Masmavi · 06/06/2025 23:56

This is a spoof post, right?

No, it was entirely serious and no MN memes and clichéd talking points of fury were mocked whatsoever, nor any mild comedy scenarios or overactions described.

Masmavi · 06/06/2025 23:56

This is a spoof post, right?

GlitteryUnicornSparkles · 06/06/2025 20:46

YANBU. I have a side by side preference too.

Newname71 · 06/06/2025 20:35

I’m on the verge of divorcing DH for a similar thing… I like my food side by side. Fish fingers, chips and beans the other night….looked like he’d thrown it onto the plate from the other side of the room! 😂
ETA. We’ve been together 27 years so don’t hold your breath OP. It won’t get any better.

BatchCookBabe · 06/06/2025 20:10

I don't get it Blush I can't see what's funny. Confused

saraclara · 06/06/2025 19:04

ButteredRadish · 06/06/2025 17:02

Are you a toddler? He made you a meal that it sounds like you usually like so be grateful and let him know for next time. Also, telling you your way is wrong is not what gaslighting is! Ffs 🙄🤦🏼‍♀️

FFs 🙄 🤦‍♀️

ButteredRadish · 06/06/2025 17:02

Are you a toddler? He made you a meal that it sounds like you usually like so be grateful and let him know for next time. Also, telling you your way is wrong is not what gaslighting is! Ffs 🙄🤦🏼‍♀️

Gustavo77 · 06/06/2025 17:00

This can't be serious.

SwimSwamSwimSwam · 06/06/2025 16:57

@MasterBeth 😂

It was obviously a joke to me.

MasterBeth · 06/06/2025 16:52

I'm assuming this is a joke.

Let's hope it's a wind up.

Fuck me!

For all the dullards on here, IT'S A WIND UP!

And to help you in the future, this is how you recognise that this is all clearly, categorically, obviously a wind up (Not a kind of "I say, I say, I say" joke, but a dry commentary on the OP's actual aversion to having her rice and curry served together.)

Fuming.

This sets up an emotional tone of fury.

BF (few months relationship) invited me over to his for a meal, home made thai curry, so far so good. He plated it up in the kitchen and brought the food to me with all of the curry and sauce on top of the rice,

From fury to mundanity. Bathos. A comic device.

when I like to have them side by side and have some clean rice as a palate cleanser.

Deliberately unusual language conventions. Rice is not normally described as clean. Or as a palate cleanser. "Clean rice as a palate cleanser" is a comedic concept.

Its just good manners and basic rice etiquette to ask first.

Rice etiquette. That's already not a thing, right? Another comic invention. Basic rice etiquette is doubly not a thing. Gradations of rice etiquette is an obvious comic concept.

I cannot believe I was dating such a neanderthal. He even tried to gas light me, saying that it doesn't make any difference and basically trying to invalidate my feelings and lived experience.

Finally, the fury comes to the surface. This is an obviously exaggerated response to a rice slight. Clues: gas light and lived experience contrasting with basic rice etiquette. Hyperbole.

Eugh, men

It's not exactly Wildean wit, but it's a perfectly readable light for anyone with half a brain.

I honestly wonder how some of you manage to go through your day to day lives.

Neuro-diversity nothwithstanding, of course, etc etc etc.

(Rice slight* is my own linguistic conceit. It's not a joke, it's just a colourful turn of phrase. No-one can be slighted by rice. And it rhymes. Playful.)