Petrol money - girls trip

Why on earth would you pay more than half? I'd be mortified to accept anywhere near that much.

When someone drives, I always pay for the fuel as I'm very grateful I don't have to deal with the stress of driving, parking etc.

My friends and I wouldn’t ask for fuel as it’s swings and roundabouts with who drives etc. My friend often drives when i’m back in my home town but i’ve hosted her at mine many times. No money ever exchanged. That said, i’d pay without hesitation if asked.

On a trip i would pay 65% of fuel plus their driving snacks!

My husband always scoffs at this dynamic in our relationship.

He sounds as charming as you.

Of course you should give her petrol money! Of course travel expenses should be shared. Otherwise you get a free ride and she’s paying the whole cost, how is that fair?

What a weird attitude you have. Are you incredibly tight like this over everything or just travel expenses? You could easily lose friends over this attitude OP so think on.

Hands up! The 1% was me, pressed the wrong one and cant figure out how to change it to yabu

Not a big deal. Did London-Manchester and back in a friends car a few months back for a weekend. Train fares would’ve been £100+ return, but split between the 4 of us who went was £15 each for fuel + £5 each for a reserved parking spot. Way cheaper than the alternative.

1. She’s going there anyway and 2. We’re best friends, I just couldn’t charge her if it were me

You are being so beyond unreasonable with this! Yes she’s going there anyway because it’s a trip you both organised together. By this logic you should just make your own way there. The only way I would understand point 1 was if she was doing something regardless of you and you asked to jump in the car.

Point 2 if it’s just down the road then I would understand but if it requires a lot of petrol then why should she pay for you? I used to not charge friends because they were my friends but then I realised I was putting myself out and they weren’t even offering. So I was disadvantaging my friends to advantage them. By this logic you should be offering petrol because she’s your best friend. You’re saying you wouldn’t charge your best friend so why are you expecting her to foot the bill?

The way we split girls trips is accommodation 50/50. Then we work out how much petrol needed for there and back. Eg full or half tank. One of us fills up the car and we transfer 50%. For snack shop we go together on the way to the trip and split that 50%. Job done.

The way it works for us is the friend who fills with petrol pays for everything, keeps the receipts and then the other transfers the other half after we’ve paid. It makes it easier to add everything up and divide by 2 rather than multiple transfers backwards and forwards.

I often rely on my friends to drive if we go away at the weekend as we only have one car which I need to leave for my husband/kids and I always insist on paying all the petrol/parking. We are saving money only having the one car so more than happy to pay and also very grateful that my friends will take me. She shouldn't have had to ask.

You wouldn’t be welcome in my car mate 😂 I do not drive cheeky fuckers

Percy pig fan? I can highly recommend the Leo Lions from aldi. A big softer than Percy pigs, but in a good way, and way cheaper. Vegan too.

Glad you've seen to offer petrol money, depends on your normal dynamic though. I always offer petrol money, my friend always refuses so I bring top tier snacks for her. She prefers to drive and has a better car so it works for us

My BF will never willingly take money for travel (although neither would I but for several reasons she is usually the one who drives!)
So I get round it by buying her coffee, lunch etc.
But that's because we'd get those things on the way anyway so I'm still balancing her costs out.

If she's directly asked for petrol money then she probably needs it, and she doesn't have the choice of hitching a lift with you because you can't take your car. Why should it cost her to go but not you when it's a trip you planned together? You pay half for accommodation because your using half.
But I understand this isn't really about Petrol but more likely about feeling your friend wouldn't offer you the same kind gesture you would.

Not only would I pay for half the petrol, I would also treat them to a thank you coffee for driving me there.

I get you OP ,you sound kind and generous and would not have charged her if the other way round .Thing is now petrol is dear COL and all the driving is on her.As shes asked, it makes it less awkward I think .I would say Oh Sue heres that cash for fuel ,
shall we stop at that nice pub we like for a lemonade? Even though you bought snacks they wont be enough to cover fuel costs .there and back .Also she has all the stress on her

I don’t understand the question.

She’s obviously not greedy or stingy or you wouldn’t bother going away with her. When you’ve had lifts from others you’ve given them
petrol money. You intended to give the petrol equivalent (not sure why you’re puzzled about working it out now when this is what you intended) in other things.

I don’t see what the issue is. You were always going to pay.

Youre going together why wouldnt you pay half? Or better yet you drive and pay all the petrol costs.
Youre a selfish person.

Really weird attitude OP - she wasn’t ’going there anyway’ - you’re travelling together. It’s a shared expense

On a further note, perhaps you are also not considering the fact that as she’s using her car, there is also wear and tear on her car as well as potentially parking costs (?) - or are you considering parking costs as hers because it’s her car!

As someone who regularly drives for full days (for work), there’s also the impact on her just generally driving for hours - she certainly won’t be as fresh as you when you both arrive - at your shared destination! And that’s if you don’t hit traffic! Regardless of the consideration of your planned lunch break stop

Me and DP set off for an expected 4.5 hour journey a couple of weeks ago - it took us almost 8 hours with just a 20 minute stop off and I was utterly exhausted when we arrived.

Makes me wonder what else you are a complete CF about!!

Let me ask you this... If you were to go by train, would you expect your friend to pay for your rail ticket? No? Exactly! put yur hand in your pocket and give the petrol money you tight wad!!😄

Is she someone who insists on always paying her share or is she a bit tight?
Is that why you are possibly irked?

Of course you pay. You could go on the train or drive yourself if you don't want to.

Personally I have an EV so wouldn't accept the petrol money, but friends could pay for parking or split the cost if I did have to charge while we were away.

Work out the distance, multiply by .45 per mile.

Giver her half.

Alternatively, pay for a tank of fuel.

Its very rude to not contribute.

Yes, she should have offered half at least,

I hope you didn't offer again. Or next time ask for half.

It's pretty easy, you find out the estimated mileage and work out the approximate petrol cost per mile and offer half of the total petrol cost.

As you're paying half the petrol / parking, don't also pay for food.

You don't want to go too far the other way, otherwise you'll always be expected to give petrol money and pay for dinner.