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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Petrol money - girls trip

312 replies

Bigfishlittlefishcardboardbox39 · 06/06/2025 07:40

Me and my best friend are going away for the night in a few weeks that’s a good couple of hours away. We both decided on the venue and both paying equally for the stay.
We’ve been friends for over half of our lives now and have a very close relationship for context.
When I asked about getting there she said she’d drive but could I give her some petrol money. I don’t know why but it’s irked me because 1. She’s going there anyway and 2. We’re best friends, I just couldn’t charge her if it were me. And no, I can’t drive there myself because my husband needs our car.
My husband always scoffs at this dynamic in our relationship. I’m not the best with money as a whole and potentially this is why? AIBU to feel this way? Of course I’ll still pay. We live in the same village for context.

OP posts:
Wolfpa · 06/06/2025 07:47

It seems reasonable to share the costs of petrol, why should one person get a better deal than the other as they can’t drive to the destination?

your friend now has the additional stress of driving, the least you can do is give some petrol money.

socks1107 · 06/06/2025 07:47

Find your own way to get there then

Coffeeishot · 06/06/2025 07:46

I mean, it is saving you train fare isn't it ? Decent people pay petrol money or at least offer.

Original poster
Bigfishlittlefishcardboardbox39 · 06/06/2025 07:46

I’m not saying I won’t pay it I said that in my OP I just wouldn’t have charged myself, maybe that’s why I don’t have much money left at the end of the month 😂

OP posts:
SlipperyLizard · 06/06/2025 07:45

This must be a reverse because no way could someone think it is ok to hitch a lift a couple of hours away and not chip in for petrol.

Jellycatspyjamas · 06/06/2025 07:45

She may be going there anyway, but would she be going if you weren’t going too? It’s fairly cheeky to expect free transport - how would you get there if she didn’t give you a lift and how much would that cost you? It’s entirely fair that you split the travel costs. I couldn’t leave someone doing me a favour carrying all the cost.

Shade17 · 06/06/2025 07:45

I wouldn’t ask my best friend for petrol money but at the same time it’s not at all unreasonable to split the travel costs. Neither of you are in wrong but if she asks then you should.

CaffeineAndAlcoholFree · 06/06/2025 07:45

Why don't you get there under your own steam (and money) then?

What a good friend to drive you everywhere, honestly.

Datsafunnyone · 06/06/2025 07:44

She's not "going there anyway". You're going together. Give her some petrol money.

Idontgiveagriffindamn · 06/06/2025 07:43

you drive instead and pay for all the petrol money - sorted
Edited - as you can’t drive find another way there if it annoys you

KittyPup · 06/06/2025 07:43

Why do you expect her to fund your travel? How much could it possibly be? The fact is you can’t drive there as you don’t have the car and she can. If you resent bunging her £10/20 then why bother going? You’re an adult - pay your own way. Expecting others to do it is embarrassing.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 06/06/2025 07:43

Yep YABU, don’t be a CF and pay half the petrol money!