Petrol money - girls trip

Of course you pay half the petrol.
This is wild thinking!

Cheeky fucker to the max

Seriously, wouldn't you have offered petrol money anyway?

My best friend didn’t drive. The expectation that would always give a lift got really tired. Even for long trips taking hours she never offered petrol money.

Anyone I give a lift to will offer petrol money. I don’t take it but they will instead eg pay for my dinner wherever we are going or buy me a drink or pay for parking, whatever seems in line with what they would have paid in petrol themselves. The dinner thing was a recent one, I had driven 4 people a couple of hours away for a gig, we went out to dinner, it was £60 a head and they all split mine and paid for it. Really kind and the gesture was appreciated because of it.
I think you’re being a CF to be miffed that she’s asked!

I don't get why you would split all of the costs in half except the means to get to the venue and home again. If you were going by train, would you expect her to pay for your ticket?

If agreed up front eg since you're paying for petrol, I'll pay for dinner on Friday night, or I'll get the coffees at the service station, etc., then that's ok. Anything else is a freeloading CF.

You are being super mean. This happened to me with my then Best friend on trip to Majorca. She wanted to hire a car and then when hired said “oh I’m soooo nervous driving in the wrong side, please do it” - so I did all the driving. She did pay half hire cost, but refused to pay petrol. It was the beginning of the end of our friendship. We’re still in contact 20 years on, but not close friends.

Wow! Tbh I’d pay just over half the petrol to say thanks for driving.

Agree with others she’s not going there anyway… she’s going there because you both organised a trip there…

I can’t believe you’re even questioning this.

This is one of those things where I'm completely hypocritical to my own detriment. I'd never ask for petrol money and have refused it before when offered but I would always offer myself if I was the passenger.

Petrol isn’t cheap anymore. I’m glad you’ve changed your mind.

I would expect my friend to give some contribution to fuel.. times are hard now for the majority of people. I would also have offered if someone was giving me a lift and if they said no, transferred money over and insisted

I personally don’t charge for petrol, but I don’t expect to be charged in return. On the basis that I drive sometimes and sometimes other people drive so it works out in the end. We are also not short of money.
BUT if someone asked for it, I would absolutely hand it over and just charge them next time. If they are asking it’s likely because they need it.

She probably wouldn't either with someone else. Your attitude is probably why she learnt the hard way to put in some boundaries preventing you to sponge of her. Personally I would have offered petrol money and if my friend declined I would have made it up by buying her meal or something. But then again I'm not a CF.

Of course you should pay! Why should you get chauffeured around and not contribute?

Gosh your attitude is SUCH a CF attitude to have.

You are benefitting from the use of her car, petrol and from her driving while you get to relax as a passenger. OF COURSE you should split the cost of the petrol between you - it's just another cost of the holiday that you are jointly incurring and should split.

When you say you are not the best with money - is there a chance she feels the need to ask you for this because you have form for not paying your way?

I'm usually the driver when I go away with friends, and I never usually have to ask for petrol money (I would if I needed to) - it's usual polite social etiquette for the passenger to offer it, and a bit rude and thoughtless of a passenger to not offer it. Of course the driver is at liberty to accept or say no thanks.

It's not like she's going to work. She's not going there anyway, she's only going because she is going with you. Travel costs like accommodation are an integral part of the cost of the holiday. Would you be happy to pay for all the meals because you would be eating anyway?

YABU.

Think of it just like dinner or if you were both getting the train. A fair split.

Of course you should chip in petrol money!

Unless it’s an arrangement like I have with a friend where we swap who drives to our shopping trip and you’ll be driving next time or did last time you’re being unreasonable she’s only going anyway because you both decided on that venue… get yourself a train ticket instead and see how much that will cost you as you’re going there anyway…

Get there on your own then 🤷🏻‍♀️ I always offer petrol money if someone drives me somewhere.

Can't imagine keeping freeloading on others' drives and saying "You were going there anyway" 🤦🏻‍♀️

i wouldn’t ask if I was her, but I’d offer if I was you. I know my bf would say no, but I’d insist I bought us lunch or a few drinks.