Petrol money - girls trip

I'm going away in a few months with some girl friends. I'm driving and not charging them. All they have to do is get to mine before I leave that day (some live about an hour away though). I'd be driving anyway so no difference to me.
BUT I get why she asked and I would pay if asked.

Is it a kind gesture if you want her to pay for it?
I’ve a friend with epilepsy and there’s no way I’d invite her out and expect her to pay petrol money or parking.

They are but she will probably bring snacks too.

It's not like the driver normally doesn't bring snacks on a girls trip so I would say that & the petrol money are 2 separate issues.

Just ask what she wants by way of petrol money so you can budget for your trip next month but have already bought snacks for rather bizarrely

Different cars and different journeys vary wildly on how much fuel they get through - just ask her how much she would like towards fuel - or if she would prefer to wait and see how much it actually costs before splitting it (and make sure you keep some cash back so that you can pay her!). Don't transfer an arbitary amount, and don't base it on a train ticket (although do look up just for yourself how much a train ticket would be, complete with taxi or bus transfer if needed so you can appreciate how much less you're paying by contributing half of a petrol tank!).

Also provision of snacks does not offset petrol money. You can't pay a driver in crisps.

Stop freeloading and pay your friend petrol!

I wouldn’t ask my friend but she would insist on paying anyway. Would you?

Look at the journey distance round trip on google maps or similar

50 to 100 miles offer £10
100 to 150 offer £15
150 to 200 offer £20
etc.

I wouldn't charge a friend for fewer than 50 miles. but I guess £5.

I’m in a friendship group of 5 and if we share cars we always split fuel, it isn’t fair that one person is paying for the travel in my opinion. We just fill the tank up, do the driving, and then when back at the end - fill the tank up again and then you just split whatever that cost was. Or if you want you can guesstimate of course.

I think it’s easy to disregard. I don’t charge for petrol but expect it to balance out at some point. I carpool dc a lot. For a longer one off journey, I’d absolutely offer/ insist.

I use mileage as a rule of thumb so if it was 100 mile round trip and there were two of us in the car. I’d give them twenty and buy the coffees. My DS went on a 150 mile trip (sporting fixture). Four boys in the car so I suggested £15 each for the passenger boys. The driving parent was all no I’m going anyway but we transferred it anyway. They did appreciate it though and whatsapped the picture of the fancy Costa they were enjoying at the match.

In a way it’s less that they are going anyway but of valuing the time saved for you of not having to get public transport. It’s not a huge amount but a recognition they are doing you a favour and a sharing of costs saved ( not paying your own petrol)

About £30 would be reasonable- £15 each way

Personally I’d expect a friend to accept a free lift and then buy me coffee/lunch etc depending on the distance ‘oh you drove, so I’ll get these!’. Nothing formal. I think I expect that because that’s what I’d do, but if they didn’t offer I’d consider that I might need to suggest splitting the petrol in the future.

I always put money in my friend’s account for petrol if she’s driving us anywhere.

If I drive I don’t expect petrol money, but equally if a friend asked I’d give them a contribution and wouldn’t be offended. Or I’d buy them some drinks etc.

You did say in your original post that ‘it irked you as she was going there anyway’!

And you don't need to calculate fuel @Bigfishlittlefishcardboardbox39 just ask her how much she wants towards the petrol. I doubt it will break the bank and will be cheaper than getting a train if you share the petrol cost.

Cos I am no good with these parking apps.

If you were going to offer petrol money then you wouldn’t have started a thread asking if it was unreasonable for your friend to have suggested paying her petrol money. You’d just have said “of course, I was going to ask you how much I owed you!” or similar.

Come on now, put the spade down! 😂

I go away with a group of friends every few months and we all just chip in a contribution towards the petrol so the transport cost don't always fall on one person. It's very fair of your friend to ask for petrol money.

One of the reasons I'd never ask for petrol money is that I'd have no idea how much to ask for. I can't remember the last time anyone gave me a lift any distance but if they did I would offer to pay but would expect them to give me an indication of how much they were expecting. I wouldn't be trying to do my own calculation.

Beside the point really, but I'm interested that you pointed out that it was 'when you could only pay by cash'. Why did you make this distinction? It still cost the same.

As if you wouldn’t offer! She’s the one who’s putting the mileage on her car and the general wear and tear. The alternative is that you both have to get public transport so you will have to pay anyway and that’s probably going to be more expensive.

In terms of how you should pay, I’d probably base it on the general mileage of the round trip. E.g. if it’s a 200 mile round trip then I’d offer more than if it’s a 100 mile round trip. You say you drive so you probably know how much it would cost you roughly in fuel to do a similar journey? Or maybe, just ask your friend if say £20 is enough to cover your half.

Hmm I'm torn on this. I think you're being a CF but in our friendship group who ever gets the lift just buys dinner/a drink or something that is a fair monetary equivalent