Petrol money - girls trip

I intend to, thank you

Ok, enjoy your day! Hope other conversations rattle you less.

YOU began this by starting on my comment, telling me I was wrong. Just go away and get a life.

This is hilarious. I have repeatedly said quite the opposite. My last post, among others, said precisely that; that I would offer petrol money as I understand others feel differently to me. I still wouldn't accept it though.

You keep coming back snidely telling me to enjoy my life and keep treating others as I see fit, implying I'm behaving badly by cheerfully doing favours for people. It's bizarre to me why you really want to see me as a bad person.

I'd left the conversation ages ago until I was specifically tagged in it, by you, telling another poster not to bother trying to convince me of something.

Please just go away, I'm really bored of you.whittering on about how your opinion is the only right way to do things 🙄

I'm not the one not comprehending! I said days ago that I would never accept petrol money but I know others feel differently so I would offer it on the unlikely occurrence I'm accepting a lift.

You are the one incapable of seeing that not everyone feels the same and telling me that by not expecting to be paid for doing a favour I'm not appreciating other people. Which makes no sense whatsoever.

Give it a rest! We don't CARE. It's obviously beyond your comprehension grade that not everyone does things YOUR way. Do whatever you want to. Live your life however you choose to. Have the life you deserve to.

Sounds like you've not read one of my posts. Nobody does do it for me. I've not been given a lift in years. I much prefer to drive. And don't consider giving someone a lift somewhere I am already going as doing them a service.

It’s not doing a service when I give someone a lift. I love driving. It’s doing myself a service.

I'm not "trying to convince you" of anything. You obviously do the get it at all. Driving for others is doing them a service, and should be appreciated. The fact that you don't appreciate it when your friends do this for you, says all I need to know about you.

What in anything I've said makes you think I don’t appreciate all the many aspects of my friendships? And what does that have to do with not calculating mileage when offering a lift?

I think you've tied yourself up in a knot somehow because I think a passenger paying the entirety of the petrol cost for a trip is silly and illogical and I don't like the idea of my friends paying me for my time. But this has translated to you into me not appreciating them.

It's OK, you care more about making sure you have paid more than your fair share for one aspect of a trip than I would. If I was giving you a lift I would refuse that payment. Your friends obviously feel differently. That's fine. Works for you. You really aren't going to convince me that I should start expecting or wanting such payment. I don't know why you're trying to.

Do you enjoy deliberately misinterpreting what others say? Or are you really that obtuse?
Appreciating that people contribute to friendships in more ways than just financially I’d obviously say beyond your comprehension.

I think we agreed that some days ago.

I will continue doing favours for my friends without requiring or expecting unnecessary recompense. Not sure why that seems to be annoying you. I imagine that those I've given lifts to in the past appreciate that too. Sorry I don't see them as freeloading as apparently you would

You continue doing whatever makes your little heart happy. The rest of us will continue to appreciate what others contribute to a friendship.

Good advice! I will continue to refuse to think that the wear and tear on my vehicle that I have chosen to use to get to somewhere I am choosing to go should be factored in to how I consider my friendships. I will also continue to refuse to accept friends trying to treat me like a commercial taxi.

Exactly this, but don’t waste your breath trying to convince DappledThings of that simple fact 😂

She is not making any financial profit. As a matter a fact she is taking a loss. Because the car loses life through wear and tear and mileage. OP should be paying all the gas to make it equal due yo that plus meals on the way. It's ridiculous that she has an issue with what her BF asked. OP should be offering more.

YTA. Your best friend is being really reasonable only asking for half the gas. The fact that your best friend volunteered to drive you in her car which will incur wear and tear and mileage on that car from the trip plus she would be the one driving while you relax on the journey, means you should be offering to pay for all the gas not just half plus meals along the way. That's how it works. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️
You have no right to be annoyed at all! You're not a good friend the way you are acting. You should be offering to pay more than what she asked for.
Grow up!

Completely unreasonable and selfish of you. I imagine this has been a one sided friendship for quite some time. Why do so many of us women feel so entitled today? Pay your way or rent a car!

You do you. I’m happy, my friends are happy. We are all happy.

If I give someone a lift to somewhere I'm going and it costs me £50 in petrol then that friend gives me £50 to pay for all the petrol I have made a profit off them.

Clearly you're happy to pay your friends as if they are a business. I wouldn't be in in the least accepting that kind of arrangement.

But then I don't find driving stressful or consider getting myself somewhere and happening to have someone else sitting next to me while I do it to be a favour of any significance.

Don’t be ridiculous. No one is “profiteering” 😂😂😂
The driver is doing the passenger(s) a favour. They’re the ones with the stress of driving, and missing out on a lot of the giggles. If you go out for drinks, and one is driving, rule of thumb is, driver doesn’t buy a round. It’s called “appreciation” 🙄

Wow. I cannot imagine asking anyone for petrol money. No one in my social circle would dream of doing this and would most likely find it odd if someone offered.

I do feel that the OP has been given a bit of a hard time. It seems that there are two different basic ways (at least) of looking at the finances for a friends' journey

way 1 - pay half the petrol each. My way, and I might supplement with a bit of way 2.
way 2 - ignore the petrol and contribute in other ways, for example by providing good snacks and maybe a meal. This seems to be the way the OP likes.

Both of these seem fair to me, although in my mind Way 2 needs using with care in case the driver is feeling broke and would rather have petrol money than uneccessary snacks.

My morals also suggest that the driver should be the one to choose which Way....

But that's what you're doing if you pay for the entire journey.

I can't remember the last time anyone gave me a lift. I much prefer to drive and as the driver and friend I don't want any payment for it. It makes no odds to me to have a passenger and yes, I am "going there anyway". If I was getting a lift I would offer a contribution of half the petrol money as I know people feel differently about it.

The passenger paying the entire fare makes no sense and I don't understand how your friend isn't embarrassed to be blatantly profiteering off you.