Today I sent a venting msg about a work colleague to the colleague

We don’t know it was bullying, recently someone I know was being an absolute bitch to me and I sent a rant about her to someone and sent it to her by mistake. I deleted it before she saw it but if she had I would have owned it because she was everything I said.

Not long after she showed herself to everyone as the bile bitch she is.

Two colleagues of mine had been having a bitch on teams chat about another member of staff. The whole team of about eight of us were in a meeting and person 1 was asked to share their screen, the teams chat came up whilst she was looking for the correct document. Person 3 lodged a complaint about persons 1 & 2, it went on forever. There were apologies refused, mediation, all sorts. The whole thing was a nightmare.

My cousin did similar and was sacked for it

I once saw a memo criticising me. Totally unjustified. The writer apologised profusely, but I would never trust them again

No sympathy from me

Me and a colleague were moaning about a new hire (let's call him Dave) that I was training - Dave had been arrogant all day and said something misogynistic like he found it hard to learn from women. I was basically venting and colleague was trying to make me feel better by bitching about Dave's appearance. Not our finest hour.

Colleague was laughing and being mean about the photo-shopping in Dave's teams photo - and colleague clicked on it- which invited the Dave to the call!
As soon as we realized he was there we both went 'shit,' and hung up. I messaged to say, sorry wrong Dave... He must have known something was up.

Lesson learnt OP. Never say anything unpleasant about colleagues in any format that can be screenshot or forwarded. If you need to vent, only ever do it verbally.

That’s pretty awful. She may raise a grievance, she may just be very upset about it. I feel for her as that’s awful, she will know it was about her of course. Stick to what’s app if you’re bitching about colleagues.

Someone did this to me once, it really wasn’t funny, particularly as the person was being extremely spiteful. I was taken aback by the message, and it was definitely about me as she’d written my name several times! I replied saying I don’t think this message was for me…and copied in the HR email. Cue profuse apologies, but I never spoke to said colleague again. She was only upset I’d seen the message, not about the fact she was being so nasty.

That's hilarious 😂 😂😂 I would have died inside though if it happened to me!

I know what bullying is.
Perhaps the recipient is bullying others.
Don’t make accusations until you have all the details and facts and evidence.

Eugh you sound like an an absolute delight

I agree with this. She knows it was about her. Those words might stay with her for years. It might be something she is deeply insecure about.

When I was young and foolish we had a colleague whose surname was Wallace. He had cheese sandwiches every day, and was from Yorkshire so he earned the nickname Gromit from the lads in the factory floor. I had to phone him for something, he answered but it didn’t sound like him I thought it was my work bestie who worked in the same office, so i said, in my best Wallace impression:
“Got any cheeeeeeese Gromit?”
Silence at the other end of the phone. 😬 Then, “sorry?” Silence whilst I panicked and came up with, “oh sorry, I thought you were Mike, trying to get a lunch order in”. Still, awkward!

Ugh, OP — this is my nightmare. How awful! Sympathies!!! And poor colleague. The only thing to do is to front up, go and see her, apologise and tell her outright that you’re ashamed of your behaviour and should never have written it and it was a childish moment of bad temper. Take flowers if you can. Assure her you don’t really think of her that way and you were just out of order. And hope she accepts your apology. It will at least make you feel a bit better to apologise in person. There’s nothing else for it, I’m afraid! Good luck.

That’s a bit weird! Did she ever realize she was talking out loud? 😮

Oh here’s a worse one, to make you feel better. I had an ex who used to put his phone on mute and rant about his boss, then unmute and act normal in the conversation. He once got his “mutes” switched, and unmuted himself to say the most horrible, over-the-top ghastly things to his boss. Calling him names and swear words and everything.

awful ex - he was really spiteful- but my gosh, did he learn a lesson that day.

Oh God, I know the feeling. I once thought I forwarded an email from my aunt to my mum, saying “Aunt Helen is a narcissist and I can’t stand her” but I accidentally REPLIED to aunt “Helen’s” email!
I owned my mistake, apologized for the words, and then never spoke to “aunt Helen” again, because I truly can’t stand her 🤣

oh, I would just die If that happened at work. Feeling for you. What did you say about them? In time, it will pass …

Ooops. Oh dear.

I once overheard a colleague talking to herself, forgetting that I was sitting right behind her. She was nattering away, obviously not realising she was doing it out loud, but having an almighty bitch fest about me, and something I'd apparently done. It was quite illuminating actually. I pretty much didn't bother talking to her again after that if I could avoid it.

All you can do is own it and apologise. My colleague didn't, and it really annoyed me, especially as she had no reason to do it. I'm glad I don't work with her any more.

My goodness, how immature. Please try to develop a more professional attitude at work and never gossip about colleagues with other colleagues!

You shouldn’t have tried to pretend it wasn’t about her.

It will be very obvious it’s about her, especially with you saying ‘it’s not about you’

You should have apologised for hurting her and genuinely meant it. Just apologising she saw it is a bit shit of of you.

Did you name her in the message? Would it be obvious you were talking about her if you hadn't said "It's not about you"? Your colleague is annoying so you and your chum bitch about her to each other, you just have to hope she's a lot more mature than you are.

Never put in writing what you would be ashamed to have read aloud 🤣

🤣🤣🤣

You weren't 'drawn' into it.

You made an active decision to do it so own it.

lol I did this once and then said a fake message to her saying omg I feel awful I’ve just accidentally sent a message intended for someone else to this person etchahahahah

Put us out of our misery,what did you say?!

Oh dear 🤦‍♀️