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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband's sibling booking daughter's christening on my birthday, AIBU to be annoyed?

214 replies

OneZingyKhakiSnake · 05/06/2025 22:21

Ideally we would like to actually go out for the day somewhere for my birthday as we have young children ourselves. Its not until autumn, the child is going to be nearly 2. Church and function afterwards. They are not religious in any way.

OP posts:
PluckyBamboo · 05/06/2025 23:31

Is it your 100th bday?

Paperumbrella · 05/06/2025 23:27

OneZingyKhakiSnake · 05/06/2025 22:57

Hahahh! Wow I did not even think I'd get a reply let alone a battering 🙈 I love the brutal honesty on here. I guess y'all are right, I'll just have to wait a week and grow up!

Literally. You’ll be a whole week older.

Enjoy your birthday when it comes OP 🎉

IfIDid · 05/06/2025 23:26

OneZingyKhakiSnake · 05/06/2025 22:57

Hahahh! Wow I did not even think I'd get a reply let alone a battering 🙈 I love the brutal honesty on here. I guess y'all are right, I'll just have to wait a week and grow up!

Fair enough, OP. Enjoy your birthday, whenever you celebrate it.

I have absolutely no idea when DH’s siblings birthdays are, and it would never occur to me to avoid them as a date for something even if I did.

MooFroo · 05/06/2025 23:22

waterrat · 05/06/2025 22:22

You are a grown up. Celebrate another day. You are being childish and unreasonable

this

PyongyangKipperbang · 05/06/2025 23:21

BeliesBelief · 05/06/2025 23:09

There’s often very little choice when it comes to Christenings - a lot of churches only offer slots every 3 months or so.

Show quote history

This is true. Our local church practically has a conveyor belt to the font once every three months.

The vast majority of parents have no religion at all, they just want yet another excuse to take photos and make a fuss. I know this as the vicar is a friend of my mothers!

My personal favourite in my family was when a DD was born to a relative. Married in a church for the photos but that was it. She went for the old tradition of using the wedding dress to make a christening gown and using the top tier of the wedding cake for the christening cake. Lovely right? Wrong.

She was divorced a year ealier and the father of the baby was not the man she married when she wore the wedding dress or cut the cake.

And that was only the start of the "Oh no.....she didnt?!" conversations on that day!

Maray1967 · 05/06/2025 23:21

I went to a wedding on my birthday! It was brilliant!

Go to the christening and go out for your birthday later. Or have your day on another day.

Or send your apologies and take the whole day for your birthday. And risk all the family thinking you’re being very precious.

The church will not have much flexibility on their dates - why cause upset when you can celebrate in another day?

NattyTurtle59 · 05/06/2025 23:18

Honestly, you are being ridiculous. I think it's time you grew up and realised the world doesn't revolve around you.

KurtShirty · 05/06/2025 23:14

Paperumbrella · 05/06/2025 22:22

Didn’t expect to find the centre of the universe of Mumsnet, but here we are.

Hahahah

viques · 05/06/2025 23:13

ceaseanddesisttobailiffs · 05/06/2025 23:08

That’s really shit. Was your brother the father of your 12yo nephew? Heart breaking.

(not suggesting for moment that it should have otherwise been moved to your nephew’s birthday)

Edited
Show quote history

Yes, his dad.

BeliesBelief · 05/06/2025 23:09

Thedownstream · 05/06/2025 22:32

I think people are being a bit harsh here OP. I am aware of the dates of all my in laws birthdays and I wouldn’t book another family event on any of those dates. This said I’d suck it up and go rather than make it an issue (but I’m a people pleaser).

There’s often very little choice when it comes to Christenings - a lot of churches only offer slots every 3 months or so.

Subbyhubby · 05/06/2025 23:08

I can appreciate your situation. My dp planned to go to the dog races on my birthday with some friends and I felt hurt about that. I am not a dog person (per se). I don’t hate them but they just arnt really for me, so I am fairly certain I would not ‘thé dogs’.
anyway, after I spoke with them, do said they were not able to change as tickets had been bought. I ended up going and actually had quite a fun time. Glad I went and dp arranged a separate dinner another night. So 2 nights out (instead of 1) and found a new thing I thought would be awful but was actually ok

TeaAndTattoos · 05/06/2025 23:08

You’re an adult with 2 young kids and you’re making a big deal out of them having a christening on your birthday. Is that really the hill you want to die on just celebrate on a different day or don’t go if it’s that important to you.

ceaseanddesisttobailiffs · 05/06/2025 23:08

viques · 05/06/2025 22:54

My brothers funeral was on my birthday.

it was either my birthday or my 12 year old nephews birthday.

Not a hard choice.

Show quote history

That’s really shit. Was your brother the father of your 12yo nephew? Heart breaking.

(not suggesting for moment that it should have otherwise been moved to your nephew’s birthday)

ceaseanddesisttobailiffs · 05/06/2025 23:06

OneZingyKhakiSnake · 05/06/2025 22:57

Hahahh! Wow I did not even think I'd get a reply let alone a battering 🙈 I love the brutal honesty on here. I guess y'all are right, I'll just have to wait a week and grow up!

Good on you for taking it well.

My aunt got married on my 18th birthday and I had a bloody exam as well that day. Didn’t occur to me to upset with her, I was more annoyed I couldn’t attend.

Ariela · 05/06/2025 23:06

Just say sorry we can't go as we've holiday/event/outing tickets for etc booked for weeks

JustASmidgen · 05/06/2025 23:02

If it’s a big birthday, don’t go.

If it’s not a big birthday, celebrate your birthday another day.

Subbyhubby · 05/06/2025 23:01

How old will you be op? Many happy returns btw

Hayley1256 · 05/06/2025 23:00

Calliopespa · 05/06/2025 22:54

These people are very toxic narcs and they are being passive aggressive.

I say definitely go full NC and while you are at it, I’d LTB to be on the safe side.

I really wanted to 'laugh' react to this but as that's no longer possible I clapped instead 😅

BruisedNeckMeat · 05/06/2025 23:00

@Paperumbrella wins Mumsnet today 😂

Bourbonversuscustardcream · 05/06/2025 23:00

When I booked my youngest’s baptism I had a choice of about three dates from the church in an entire autumn (they only do them on certain Sundays and several were booked already) - once I took account of multiple sets of Grandparents and Godparents with holidays, operations, weddings and my husband’s travel for work I had one possible date. Even if I had known my sister in law’s birthday it would not have factored into my decision. The only person whose birthday I’d maybe have avoided would be the baby’s sibling.

Icanttakethisanymore · 05/06/2025 22:59

Redglitter · 05/06/2025 22:53

It's probably very outing 🙄

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Maybe there’s an ‘outing hobby’ 😂

Gettygrip · 05/06/2025 22:57

Grow up ffs !!

Original poster
OneZingyKhakiSnake · 05/06/2025 22:57

Hahahh! Wow I did not even think I'd get a reply let alone a battering 🙈 I love the brutal honesty on here. I guess y'all are right, I'll just have to wait a week and grow up!

OP posts:
alcoholnightmare · 05/06/2025 22:57

Unless it’s your 40th/30th etc… your SIL has probably highly likely forgotten or not considered your birthday.

vodkaredbullgirl · 05/06/2025 22:57

MrsSkylerWhite · 05/06/2025 22:55

Someone else is paying for your birthday party?
Result.

Exactly 😆

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