Page 2 | Husband's sibling booking daughter's christening on my birthday, AIBU to be annoyed?

OneZingyKhakiSnake · 2025-06-05T21:21:28+00:00

Ideally we would like to actually go out for the day somewhere for my birthday as we have young children ourselves. Its not until autumn, the child is going to be nearly 2. Church and function afterwards. They are not religious in any way.

Cotton55 · 06/06/2025 10:35

Nant90 · 05/06/2025 22:24

What a total non-event. Just go non-contact to save anything so awful from happening again.

🤣

tralalal · 06/06/2025 10:32

Good grief what a fuss over nothing.

CoffeeCantata · 06/06/2025 10:02

Yes, OP - you do need to grow up! I say that with a sympathetic smile, not nastily. You'll find life much easier if you stop being precious about your birthday - that's for little children who are understandably self-centred.

We had to go to my lovely MIL's funeral on one of my big birthdays - and that was fine. It was the only possible date and I didn't even bat an eyelid - I'd be having more birthdays, but she wouldn't.

As pps say, celebrate on another day!

graceinspace999 · 06/06/2025 09:46

OneZingyKhakiSnake · 05/06/2025 22:57

Hahahh! Wow I did not even think I'd get a reply let alone a battering 🙈 I love the brutal honesty on here. I guess y'all are right, I'll just have to wait a week and grow up!

Sadly you made yourself the fish in the barrel here and the sharks smell blood in the water - yours 😂

Never mind they’ll move their outrage on to some other poor sod soon.

I routinely change my birthday every year so it always falls on a Saturday.

Lately I’ve even started moving the year I was born as well.

If I keep that up I’ll be going backwards to babyhood 😉

user1469770863 · 06/06/2025 09:32

Paperumbrella · 05/06/2025 22:22

Didn’t expect to find the centre of the universe of Mumsnet, but here we are.

best response EVER

SnoopDougyDoug · 06/06/2025 09:19

In my family and my in laws family we wouldn't do this. We all celebrate each other's birthdays (maybe just a card, maybe a big do depending on the year etc). I think it's a bit thoughtless - i would have expected a message to say 'SIL, we know its your birthday but this is the only date that works, do you mind?' Just to acknowledge it would be enough.

LondonLady1980 · 06/06/2025 09:17

Unless you are 10 years old or younger then YABU.

MathiasBroucek · 06/06/2025 09:14

OneZingyKhakiSnake · 05/06/2025 22:57

Hahahh! Wow I did not even think I'd get a reply let alone a battering 🙈 I love the brutal honesty on here. I guess y'all are right, I'll just have to wait a week and grow up!

Good for you on the healthy response!

luckylavender · 06/06/2025 08:55

You sound a bit precious. It probably didn’t occur to them

RogersOrganismicProcess · 06/06/2025 08:50

Paperumbrella · 05/06/2025 22:22

Didn’t expect to find the centre of the universe of Mumsnet, but here we are.

Please bring back the laughing button MNHQ

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 06/06/2025 08:48

Guess what? Other people’s worlds don’t revolve around you.

grafittiartist · 06/06/2025 08:43

I would love a chance to see all
my family on my birthday! What a nice plan.

MrsMoastyToasty · 06/06/2025 08:39

I've been to a wedding on my birthday and also to a funeral. I'm a grown up. I can handle it.

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 06/06/2025 08:37

Theroadt · 06/06/2025 07:20

Years ago when organising my son’s christening my MIL got upset that her favourite son (not my DH) couldn’t come as was on holiday. Our Church had very few dates and I hadn’t known about the holiday plans. I changed thd christening date although one godparent then couldn’t come (an old friend who said it was more important to placate my in-laws). My MIL always denied she made a fuss. I never really forgave her - silly, but thd whole thing was a bit of a camel straw after a pattern of behaviour. So my advice is: gi ti the christening in a positive happy way. The alternative will cause long-term hurt and resentment.

Sorry but that was on you changing the date!! MIL could make all the fuss she wanted. No way should you have done that…

Westfacing · 06/06/2025 08:31

Why an adult would even be thinking about her autumn birthday in June and planning a day out baffles me!

Your SIL can't be expected to remember everyone's birthday when setting a date for a christening. I'm sure it wasn't done deliberately to scupper your plans to go out for the day!

Blogswife · 06/06/2025 08:29

I take it that it’s not a milestone birthday ?

Are you expecting your SIL /BIL to avoid the birthday of every guest or just yours ?

Let your DN be the centre of attention on her big day , she only gets one christening whereas you’ve already had lots of birthdays and hopefully will have many more .

LadyBracknellsHandbagg · 06/06/2025 08:29

Do they even know it’s your birthday? Go, don’t go, there’s no need to make a performance out of it.

marylou25 · 06/06/2025 08:17

Sounds like you must have been a PFB!

I could only give a rough month guess at in laws birthdays, same with nieces/nephews. Plus the very valid point that the Church will only have limited options for dates, shortgage of priests and all that!

SporadicMincePieMuncher · 06/06/2025 08:07

She probably expected somebody who is an adult who has had many birthdays and for whom this isn't a big birthday to not mind, if she thought she needed to factor it in at all.

Then again I'm absolutely amazed by the number of my adult middle aged friends who feel the need to book their birthdays off work and have big celebrations every year. I guess each to their own, but in my family adults do a few cards and gifts in the morning then get on with life as usual, maybe going out for a meal or something on the weekend or whenever is convenient.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 06/06/2025 08:00

Amelie2025 · 05/06/2025 22:30

I thought more 4th

Show quote history

I was thinking 6th.

MyBirthdayMonth · 06/06/2025 07:52

TunnocksOrDeath · 05/06/2025 22:33

You need to write to the relevant bishop, and ask him/her to instruct all clergy in the diocese to require written proof that there are no clashing family events before they agree to book-in any services for hatches, matches, or dispatches.

Never mind that, why isn't your birthday in the church calendar?

PrincessOfPreschool · 06/06/2025 07:40

'Main character energy' is hilarious. That's got to be my new catch phrase 🤣. @NestEmptying

PrincessOfPreschool · 06/06/2025 07:38

I'm sure this has been said, but not read the full thread....

Does she even know when your birthday is?

I don't know when my SIL's birthday is. If I did, I would also assume she's an adult kyle me and wouldn't mind celebrating on a different day. Or even not making a big fuss as one off.

NestEmptying · 06/06/2025 07:27

Yes YABU.
My DD would call this 'main character energy'.
Most adults have to realize their birthday is just another day to everyone else.

Theroadt · 06/06/2025 07:20

Years ago when organising my son’s christening my MIL got upset that her favourite son (not my DH) couldn’t come as was on holiday. Our Church had very few dates and I hadn’t known about the holiday plans. I changed thd christening date although one godparent then couldn’t come (an old friend who said it was more important to placate my in-laws). My MIL always denied she made a fuss. I never really forgave her - silly, but thd whole thing was a bit of a camel straw after a pattern of behaviour. So my advice is: gi ti the christening in a positive happy way. The alternative will cause long-term hurt and resentment.