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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband's sibling booking daughter's christening on my birthday, AIBU to be annoyed?

214 replies

OneZingyKhakiSnake · 05/06/2025 22:21

Ideally we would like to actually go out for the day somewhere for my birthday as we have young children ourselves. Its not until autumn, the child is going to be nearly 2. Church and function afterwards. They are not religious in any way.

OP posts:
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blubberyboo · 06/06/2025 22:00

OneZingyKhakiSnake · 06/06/2025 20:59

Thanks! Tbh I'm laughing at loads of these posts too 😆

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The silver lining is you can have 2 birthdays instead...one the Sunday before, one the Sunday after and some free grub on at the christening

Original poster
OneZingyKhakiSnake · 06/06/2025 20:59

Pelicanos · 06/06/2025 06:59

I agree. Well done OP, some posters would not have returned but you did.

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Thanks! Tbh I'm laughing at loads of these posts too 😆

OP posts:
Golidlocksandthethreeswears · 06/06/2025 20:10

Paperumbrella · 05/06/2025 22:22

Didn’t expect to find the centre of the universe of Mumsnet, but here we are.

🤣

Well Done Good Job GIF by America's Got Talent
Original poster
OneZingyKhakiSnake · 06/06/2025 20:08

Justsomethoughts23 · 06/06/2025 04:23

Yeah my first thought was whether they’d definitely have even remembered your birthday was that day!

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Yes they know. But doesn't matter now, I've come to realise my error and am fine with it now! Think I was just tired and stressing about other stuff, our cat isnt well and it just tipped me over the edge.

OP posts:
Original poster
OneZingyKhakiSnake · 06/06/2025 20:03

MrsEverest · 06/06/2025 00:10

Bit dramatic to wait a week. Just go to the christening then on to something to enjoy together that afternoon. Or go out for the day on Saturday if the christening is on Sunday.

It's only because we both work full time so Sunday is the only day we have together

OP posts:
FumingTRex · 06/06/2025 16:53

Just insist they provide a birthday cake for you which is at least as big as the christening cake.

Gustavo77 · 06/06/2025 16:41

Your birthday isn't important and definitely not worth people having to arrange things around you and it. 🙄

zingally · 06/06/2025 16:27

Unless it's a "big" birthday, you are being totally U.

Truly, I'm often surprised on here about how often people seem to actively dislike their extended family.
Frankly, I'd be delighted to spend my birthday at an extended family gathering. The actual christening is what? An hour out of what would otherwise just be family getting together.

SmallChanges3 · 06/06/2025 16:25

A good friend of mine booked their wedding on my birthday. Guess what? I still went to their wedding. I've had plenty of birthdays but my friend is only going to have a wedding once (hopefully).

BeNiceWhenItsFinished · 06/06/2025 16:22

I voted YANBU because they are not at all religious, and basically they are having a 'Christening' as an excuse for a knees-up (and will probably expect the child to receive a load of presents too).

Have either you or your DH been asked to be Godparents?

Pickingmyselfup · 06/06/2025 15:55

I am a big fan of celebrating my birthday but I'm quite happy to move it to a different week or even a different month! Can't you do the same since it makes no difference to you but to your SIL it's a fixed event and she may not have had much choice in when she could have it.

JLou08 · 06/06/2025 15:49

YABU. I wouldn't consider my in laws birthdays when booking a christening. I wouldn't expect anyone to consider my birthday when booking an event either.

Amelie2025 · 06/06/2025 15:44

HoldmecloseTonyDanza · 06/06/2025 11:03

It's tough I know.
My cousin buried her mother on what should have been her wedding day (cousin's wedding day, not aunt's), wedding obviously got moved out by a couple of months.
I think if my cousin can deal with that then OP can celebrate her birthday on a different day.

Edited
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Poor cousin 😢😢

MumbleBumbleAppleCrumble · 06/06/2025 14:57

Did they even know it’s your birthday before they booked? I’m not sure that a SIL’s birthday is particularly something people hold on to. I doubt any of my in-laws would know mine. It’s hardly an important date in their diary is it?

I do keep a birthday diary and we send cards, but that’s just because I was brought up that way. My partner’s siblings never send cards to each other and though they wish each other happy birthday on the day via the family WhatsApp that’s only because my partner’s parents always initiate it on the day and the siblings the. All respond.

But, even if they did know, it’s hardly going to affect their planning. Most people work on their birthdays, go to weddings or whatever, without much fuss. You’re perfectly entitled not to go, but thinking that your brother and sister in law should plan their child’s christening around you is massively entitled and just a wee bit immature! I’d suck it up and go away the following weekend.

Moonlightexpress · 06/06/2025 13:32

TheCurious0range · 05/06/2025 22:40

I've known my SIL over 20 years, I don't know her birthday off the top of my head I know the month and that is in the first half of the month. Wouldn't cross my mind if I was booking something. Surely as an adult you just celebrate your birthday the day after or before?

Im being nosey but do you ever message the woman to say happy bday if you don't when it is... 🤣

Canshehavewaferthinham · 06/06/2025 12:31

Amelie2025 · 05/06/2025 22:30

I thought more 4th

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I agree. Most 9 year olds I've encountered would have been okay with 'We're goin g to Auntie so and so's on your birthday so we'll have to have your party the day before/after. Yay, two parties!'

jljlj · 06/06/2025 12:23

You can go out anytime

Toohardtofindaproperusername · 06/06/2025 12:22

OneZingyKhakiSnake · 05/06/2025 22:57

Hahahh! Wow I did not even think I'd get a reply let alone a battering 🙈 I love the brutal honesty on here. I guess y'all are right, I'll just have to wait a week and grow up!

Was wondering if my post hadd been too brutal - glad you are robust enough to take it. Maybe you are more grown up than it appeared 😉
Enjoy your birthday and the christening.

ThatChirpySheep · 06/06/2025 12:18

A milestone birthday like a 30th or 40th I’d understand being peeved but I wouldn’t allow myself to be worked up if it’s any other birthday. Maybe go out the day or weekend after :) x

SALaw · 06/06/2025 11:53

Jesus

HRTQueen · 06/06/2025 11:17

Paperumbrella · 05/06/2025 22:22

Didn’t expect to find the centre of the universe of Mumsnet, but here we are.

hilarious i love this 😆

ChuckleDaughter · 06/06/2025 11:14

To be fair op, I would be annoyed if I genuinely believed they did it on purpose but it's much more likely they're just not aware of your birthday.

HoldmecloseTonyDanza · 06/06/2025 11:03

Sailawaygirl · 06/06/2025 10:49

I have had x2 family funerals booked on my birthday ( different sides of the family). One of them was on my 21st birthday. I turned up to funeral and was respectful and had a meal out the next day instead. You have a birthday every year.

It's tough I know.
My cousin buried her mother on what should have been her wedding day (cousin's wedding day, not aunt's), wedding obviously got moved out by a couple of months.
I think if my cousin can deal with that then OP can celebrate her birthday on a different day.

Sailawaygirl · 06/06/2025 10:49

I have had x2 family funerals booked on my birthday ( different sides of the family). One of them was on my 21st birthday. I turned up to funeral and was respectful and had a meal out the next day instead. You have a birthday every year.

blueredpurple · 06/06/2025 10:45

Go out for the day on the other day that weekend?

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