Cancelling the kids plans because he's thrown a wobbler, aibu?

You can jot stay with a man that behaves like this op. None of this is fair on your darling children.

Tell dc something has gone wrong and they can pick anything they would like to do, and give them a weekend to remember! The best weekend.

I would never speak to him again. If you continue this relationship your dc will really suffer.

I would have an extremely low opinion of someone who did this. Not just him expecting you to let down your DC at the last minute, but also him opting out of parenting his own DC on his weekend with them. He's showing you who he is OP. Can't think why his previous relationship failed (sarcasm!) I'd get out now and find someone less selfish.

Definitely doesn’t bode well for the future does it? I’d be pretty annoyed too how little thought he gave to the cancellation of plans. I’d be going away with the kids regardless and reconsidering whether I wanted to continue a relationship with someone who had little regard to me or my kids. Don’t disappoint your kids like he has.

To be honest this is how I read it, he is dropping a big hint that you could leave your kids behind somewhere. He doesn't want to cancel his own weekend away and punish himself.

Your priorities are so entirely different, you and your kids are a package, they aren't something that can be picked up and dropped off when it suits you, so the hint went over your head.

You do not share the same values so this guy is not a keeper.

Longterm he definitely sounds like a keeper.
Like he will be one of those great step dads. Especially going by how lovely he is to his own children .
Good choice

In the bin he goes
have a great weekend with your kids

I am happy for his ex that his pathetic parenting is less her problem, presumably she used to have to cover all the times he just didn’t feel like parenting. I think you should find someone else- it’s not just the attitude to you and your kids as irrelevant compared to his wants, it’s the attitude to his own kids. Bleugh.

Do you have camping equipment? That's always fun for kids. Have a lovely weekend making memories with your DC.

He has “ no kids” half the time anyway, yet can’t cope when he’s supposed to be doing the caring. Lazy and selfish springs to mind. Plan some nice treats for you and your children.

Don’t let your children down because of this. You have to still go!

@Tulipsdaisy why can't you go without him? Is a hotel booked? I'd dump him, btw. Sounds like too many 🚩🚩🚩

What a total arse !! You don’t muck your partner abour , let alone kids about ,

hope you can go alone

is he usually this selfish ?

if it’s his weekend with the kids yet wants adult time

Take your children for a lovely break with you as planned.

You have dogcare in place, your plans are set - let him sulk in his immature emotionally disregulated stew.

Do not let his tantrum govern what you do with your children.

That is the thin end of the wedge with controlling behaviour.

He gets a break and a rest 50% of the time. A lot more than most parents, including you op. Why does he need more of a break when he already has half the week free from parenting. He can’t even handle his own dc half the time. Pathetic. Seems to me that he is: 1 lazy ,2 can’t parent his own dc, 3 acts like toddler when faced with any slight difficulty, 4 puts himself above everyone else, including his own dc and you and your dc. As you know, when times get tough with dc, you suck it up and carry on, you don’t put your own needs before theirs and take to your bed.
Is this really the type of person you want to be with?
If your relationship progressed to moving in together, how would he manage to live with your dc full time when he can’t even handle his own 50% of the time? This has disaster written all over it.

He doesn’t care about letting you and all the dc down because he’s selfish and thinks everything revolves around him and his feelings are paramount. Red flags are flying high op. I don’t want to be a mn psychologist but there is a name for people like this and it begins with an N.

So he's not only a terrible boyfriend, but he's also a terrible father. His poor kids.

Bin him.

I got the no kids thing immediately and was thinking he still wants to go, but without any kids.

Oh I get. Well you can still go somewhere or do something with your children, surely. Please try and think of something.

I read he has cancelled things before, you weren't so bothered because it didn't affect your children but it still shows a pattern. He doesn't want a real relationship. Please tell us it's over between you.

Go without him and message him to say that you expect him to catch up later in the morning.
With his children he needs to make up, then get up, dress up, pack up and show up.
When he does show up, do not entertain any conversation about how difficult things have been for him. Inform him that he needs to grow up. He is a parent and has chosen to have an adult relationship with you. If he can't manage his own life he needs to ship out.
If he is a no show - give him the flick. He has exposed himself as a dick head.

That's just what I thought. Do go without him! You might enjoy it.

Definitely ditch the guy, he has shown his true colours. I feel sorry for his kid but you ..... you are free! Yippee.

My thoughts exactly.

He’s a selfish nob and doesn’t sound like a good dad.
Dont understand why you’ve decided to cancel. I’d book a caravan or lodge for a couple of nights and go without him.
Also, you can’t ask for a refund off your dog sitter. It isn’t their fault.

I agree with this pretty much totally. But there are kids involved who think they are going away for a weekend break, so for that reason only I think it is worth pushing whether you can go on your own with your children. But for this weekend only, then after that, you know what you have to do, sorry.

If his fuse is that short with his own very young children, he’d have no qualms rolling out the same behaviour with your children, to whom he owes a lot less, should you blend your families in any way.

Tbh, I didnt read it any other way OP. Definitely thought 'no kids' meant not yours either.

This! Now your being as bad as him OP by not taking your own kids