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AIBU?

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Cancelling the kids plans because he's thrown a wobbler, aibu?

607 replies

Tulipsdaisy · 05/06/2025 21:47

Me, my boyfriend and our respective children (not shared) were supposed to be going away this weekend, from Friday until Sunday evening. Plans were finalised. I made arrangements for somebody to house sit for me and take care of my dog, paid in advance. They moved their schedule around to accommodate me.

Background: together just shy of 16 months. We don't live together. I'm a lone parent of 2 and he has 50/50 joint custody of his 2 with his ex wife. DC introduced at the 12 month mark and get along great. Lovely.

At 9pm this evening he has text saying he needs a break, wants a weekend to himself and would rather do 'no kids' so he's asking his parents to babysit.

I said he was bang out of order springing this on me this late and asked what on earth the matter was.

He said nothing is the matter he has just had enough of his child's attitude. His DC doesn't deserve the trip, he wants a weekend to himself, he's going to bed and 'tomorrow is a new day'

My response to that was: "Well you have a nice sleep, now you've offloaded that onto me and I now have to explain to my (relative dog sitter) and inevitably upset children. Thanks a bunch"

He read that and didn't reply.

He has obviously had some cheek from his DC and now we all have to pay the price. His DC aren't badly behaved, a little bit cheeky now and then but not bad kids whatsoever.

I'm both angry and sad. He hasn't given any thought to everybody else impacted by his wobbler. It's fuck the lot of us.

I'm £50 down the drain (I'm not going to ask for for the dog sitting money back, the relative sitting for me really needed the money and jumped at the chance)

I have to explain to my DC tomorrow morning that it isn't going ahead and they're going to be so disappointed.

There has been some prior instances of him arsing about with existing plans but I don't think I can move past this one as it directly impacts the children.

AIBU to think he's a nasty, selfish dick? And what on earth do I say to the children?

OP posts:
ilovesushi · 06/06/2025 16:39

Oh no! Just seen your last post. Gutted for you. More because he has proved himself to be an arsehole than the twattery around the trip. Hope you can go ahead and take your boys to the theme park. I'm sure they'll love it even more than plan A. And you won't have to deal with someone messing with your head. xxx

Anonymouseposter · 06/06/2025 16:29

I would be very careful about involving your children any further with this man. He sounds capricious and harsh with his kids who are still very young. He will start wanting to get involved with managing your kids behavior and he is bad tempered and inconsistent. I don't often say LTB but I would dump him before it goes any further.

LAMPS1 · 06/06/2025 16:23

Punishing you for daring to speak your mind in your message this morning no doubt. And trying to get the upper hand back.
Well done OP, for having none of it.
All the best to you and your children.

Happyhettie · 06/06/2025 16:21

What a bunch of red flags. I’m wondering if he’s managed to twist this so that you are “to blame” in some way?
I hope you have made some brilliant alternative plans instead.

Capybara6473 · 06/06/2025 16:21

Oh no, what happened? I do think you should consider whether this is the final straw.
He really is taking the piss.

OneFineDay13 · 06/06/2025 16:20

I think you need to dump this man OP what happened what did he say that was rude to you? He sounds so flaky I couldn't deal

CuddlesKovinsky · 06/06/2025 16:20

Tulipsdaisy · 06/06/2025 15:43

It's off. We are not going. He has just been so rude to me.

Has he manipulated this to make you the bad guy?

Anyahyacinth · 06/06/2025 16:18

Tulipsdaisy · 06/06/2025 15:43

It's off. We are not going. He has just been so rude to me.

That sounds better than going away with someone so inconsiderate and volatile. I hope you manage to create a fun weekend without him 💗

AuntieDolly · 06/06/2025 16:16

Do you think he was bullshitting about the work accommodation?

LifeReallyIsTooShort · 06/06/2025 16:14

Tulipsdaisy · 05/06/2025 21:55

We wouldn't be able to go to the existing plans without him, It's hard to elaborate much without it being too outing. It's a perk connected to his job is all I can say.

I'm going to have to think up something else to do with mine 😔

Yes, definitely do something else with your DC’s, make sure it’s a really fun time too, tbh I’d be rethinking my relationship with, he has shown he doesn’t care about you or your DC’s feelings, he doesn’t give a hoot for you all. I would tell him if this is his level of disrespect you don’t see a future with him.

MrsKeats · 06/06/2025 16:13

You sound lovely op. There are better people out there. Or just focus on you and your kids.

EllieEllie25 · 06/06/2025 16:11

Sorry to hear that OP. I hope you can do something fun with your boys tomorrow instead.

He's probably angry at his tactics for messing you about not working any more. Well done for not putting up with bad treatment.

VickyEadieofThigh · 06/06/2025 16:10

Lavenderflower · 06/06/2025 15:44

This would be a deal breaker for me - he sounds a bit petulant, controlling and unreliable.

Yep - I'd be binning him off, no backsies.

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 06/06/2025 16:08

Do something else with the kids and bin him. He's really messing you around here.

Moonlightexpress · 06/06/2025 16:00

Tulipsdaisy · 06/06/2025 15:43

It's off. We are not going. He has just been so rude to me.

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

myplace · 06/06/2025 15:59

What a plank. Still, at least you know now before more harm is done.

gerispringer · 06/06/2025 15:57

Uugh. Have a good weekend without him.

marshmallowmix · 06/06/2025 15:57

That is not okay to cancel at the lastminute especially when kids involved...give him the elbow and drop him.

It is very selfish and inconsiderate to do this, I'd not look past this everyone looking forward to it and you had arranged a dog sitter etc ...nope no okay to do what he has done...

Take your DC and do something else if you can...

sprigatito · 06/06/2025 15:53

Cancelling on you and your kids is rude and selfish…but I’d be even more disgusted by his fair-weather approach to his own kids. A child under 10 upset him, so he decides he doesn’t want to be a father for the weekend and palms them off on his mum? Ugh. What a prince.

MinnieGirl · 06/06/2025 15:45

Tulipsdaisy · 06/06/2025 15:43

It's off. We are not going. He has just been so rude to me.

No way! And after that decent apology too….
Do something nice with your kids while you calm down and then think about whether you really want to spend time with this guy…

WhyamIinahandcartandwherearewegoing · 06/06/2025 15:45

@Tulipsdaisy oh no?! I hope you and your kids have a lovely weekend together x

diddl · 06/06/2025 15:45

Tulipsdaisy · 06/06/2025 15:43

It's off. We are not going. He has just been so rude to me.

Hope you have a lovely weekend without him.

Geeseinarow · 06/06/2025 15:44

Sorry you've been so messed around, at least you have an answer in a way. Has he been so rude it has crossed the line into ending it?

Lavenderflower · 06/06/2025 15:44

This would be a deal breaker for me - he sounds a bit petulant, controlling and unreliable.

Tulipsdaisy · 06/06/2025 15:43

It's off. We are not going. He has just been so rude to me.

OP posts: