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Original poster

I’m really hurt…..

31 replies

Ginger22 · 05/06/2025 21:07

My partner came home from the office tonight and we settled down with a glass for a chat. He started recounting a story today from the office…… part way through he said “because she’s really attractive”….. talking about sone kind of hassle a young lady was receiving at the moment in his office. I said “what?” And he said “well, can’t there be other attractive women in the world?” I said, it sounds like you find her attractive? He said well, she’s half my age! That made me feel worse.

I felt really hurt. I’m 47, menopausal and now I feel like there’s a young, attractive woman in his office that they’re all gawping at. When I explained how this made me feel, he said I was not being genuine and I was ridiculous to feel upset. Am I?

OP posts:
BigFatBully · 05/06/2025 21:23

Ginger22 · 05/06/2025 21:07

My partner came home from the office tonight and we settled down with a glass for a chat. He started recounting a story today from the office…… part way through he said “because she’s really attractive”….. talking about sone kind of hassle a young lady was receiving at the moment in his office. I said “what?” And he said “well, can’t there be other attractive women in the world?” I said, it sounds like you find her attractive? He said well, she’s half my age! That made me feel worse.

I felt really hurt. I’m 47, menopausal and now I feel like there’s a young, attractive woman in his office that they’re all gawping at. When I explained how this made me feel, he said I was not being genuine and I was ridiculous to feel upset. Am I?

You're not ridiculous to feel upset. You should never be ashamed of your emotions. If anything, a little healthy jealousy shows that there's still a passion in the relationship.

I really don't think your DH meant to hurt your feelings. I love my husband dearly but I do see men whilst out and about and think that they're attractive. It would be strange to only find one person attractive. There is a difference between finding someone attractive and having a desire to pursue relations with a person. It sounds to me as though your husband was telling you about his day in a frank manner and being honest with you. I'd be more concerned if he was hiding the fact that there was a woman who he found attractive at his work. I really don't think you have anything to worry about or give your husband a hard time about but you could suggest to him that you yourself would like to be made to feel attractive more often. Perhaps you could arrange a date night, if you can get childcare. If your husband was spending an unusual amount of time with this woman, and showing more of an interest in her than he does his other colleagues, I'd agree that you should be worried. But as it stands from what you've said, that doesn't appear to be the case.

toomuchfaff · 05/06/2025 21:13

There are 100000000s of attractive women in the world, can your OH not recount any stories where said attractive person might have hassle or benefit due to their attractiveness?

You're making a taboo area. He didn't say more attractive than you he said attractive. He wasn't saying she was tremendously attractive, he was saying she was getting hassle because she was attractive. It's not a detriment to you.

Dillydollydingdong · 05/06/2025 21:12

An attractive woman is attractive, no matter what her age. And no matter what the age of the man observing. It doesn't mean he wants to take it further. Put yourself in the same situation - an attractive young man comes into view. You can enjoy looking at him without any desire to do anything about it. So I think maybe you over reacted a bit.

Allseeingallknowing · 05/06/2025 21:10

Typical thoughtless, clumsy male! I’d be hurt too but he probably didn’t mean to hurt you.

Springadorable · 05/06/2025 21:09

Was her being attractive part of the story? Or just an irrelevant detail? If it's part of the story of what happened I wouldn't be annoyed, especially as he said "other attractive women" implying that they are in addition to you. If he was just telling the story in order to say she's fit and nothing actually happened then that's more upsetting.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 05/06/2025 21:09

This wouldn't bother me at all tbh! Some people just objectively are attractive.