We have been friends for about 10 years. Last birthday she got me a birthday gift and for her next birthday I wrapped and sent her a nice gift in the post as she lives overseas now. She liked the gift so much she started stocking the item in a shop she has and says it’s selling like hotcakes, but then got me nothing for my birthday the next month despite seeing me quite close to the date (literally wearing the gift I had given her lol).
I had a baby shower later in the year which she was invited to but wasn’t able to attend, she had some pretty serious fertility issues so I understood her not attending and also not getting any gift for baby as I am sure it wasn’t a subject she was keen to dwell on.
However wonderfully, she then managed to fall pregnant before I gave birth, my baby is 6 months old now and I have seen her a couple of times but no gift or card, or anything in the post.
She has now organised a baby shower and invited me.
I can’t help but feel quite disgruntled about the lack of reciprocal gifts. I was willing to overlook the lack of birthday gift as maybe she didn’t want to get into gifting for birthdays, fine by me, but then the lack of baby gift too once she was pregnant and the subject no longer sensitive, just felt too on the nose?
I would never not get a friend anything to recognise their first baby and then months later invite them to my own baby shower, presumably expecting a gift from them, I would feel so embarrassed!
But gifts are definitely my “love language” so maybe I am overreacting?
Money is definitely not an issue for her.