AIBU to have no hobbies

I think hobbies are more important than people realise. Coming from a family that is riddled with Alzheimer's has made me determined to keep my brain active for as long as I can. I've always been an avid reader and a knitter, but now I also paint watercolours. Outdoor hobby I suppose, is walking the dogs and connecting with nature.

I find it sad when the career minded mock those of us who do have hobbies, considering it brain rotting, and beneath them, as if these pastimes are only for the nursing home years. Looking at older people around me, the ones who stay mentally and physically active into old age are the ones who have interests and passions. Those who have no hobbies are lost after retirement and seem to just fade away in front of the TV.

Even driving you could listen to the radio.
Years ago when I was working I was really into listening to the local radio station (I could do it at work - it was fine).
I did the phone in general knowledge quiz everyday and always did quite well (I was never brave enough to actually phone in and take part live on air 🙁).
As a teen I listened to BBC Radio One - I had specific DJs I liked and segments they did (the sad story one, confessions etc). I never managed to get to go to a Radio One Roadshow but I loved to listen to them. Me and my sister would write to the BBC and get signed photos and stickers.
I'd say that was a hobby as such.
In these days of podcasts you could listen to absolutely ANYTHING while doing that hours drive.

Drive.

I think as long as a person feels fulfilled in life and also finds time to properly relax, structured hobbies are not that important.

As for later years when kids are grown and you're less busy, volunteering
is a great way to fill time and add to the quality of life, if no particular hobby has grabbed you by that point.

in an ideal world, you could use the hours commuting to do something useful.

If you are unlucky to live where I am, crowded trains and noisy people make it very hard to be efficient. If you are not at the beginning of the line, you don't even get a seat. I wish we could throw commuters who can't stop talking out of the train, that would solve so many problems 😂

it's true that the more you do, the more energy you have (to a point, obviously).

I feel a lot better exercising in the evening than slobbing on the sofa watching tv, plus I sleep better, I am more relax and more efficient and feel a lot more energetic.

I have an office job, it's not the same for everyone, some people are on their feet all day.

Over the years, I’ve noticed a curious pattern across countless threads on here: time and again, the narrative involves the OP - or a close relation, be it a spouse, sibling, or friend - grappling with some issue or entanglement related to a hobby
Most of the threads I have seen about hobbies involve partners disappearing off to their hobby for disproportionate amounts of time leaving the OP alone at home with the children. I haven't seen many hobby threads taking a different line, sometimes it's to do with someone at a hobby group being pain but the majority are definitely the "hobby widow" type threads.

These pastimes are often alluded to in oblique or cryptic terms, as though their mere mention might unravel anonymity
I'd bet that most of the time it's cycling or football.

Does this make me the odd one out? Or is it that Mumsnet, by some strange gravity, draws to it a disproportionate number of stories where hobbies play a central role?
I think it's because women come on here looking for support and a common issue in marriages/partnerships seems to be one of the partners fucking off to do a hobby and leaving the other person doing the childcare. The person doing the majority of the childcare is fucked off with the situation and goes on MN to complain about it.

YANBU to have no hobbies. It's not compulsory to have one.

" a full-time job with an hour commute each way"

Interesting. One of the great regrets of my life, when I worked and had even longer commutes, was that I hadn't discovered the Open University. (Other hobby/study options are available.) I could have made such great use of that otherwise dead time, reading/listening to course materials. Sadly I was so dim I had to wait until I retired.

What do you do during those 2 hrs per day? What might you like to do?

I don't know how people have the energy to be honest

I think a hobby is just something you do for pleasure that you don't have to do but you want to do.

I do find it weird to be honest -you asked!

First I would find it suffocating to just go from work to housework and general life admin and achieve nothing.
I also don't feel well if I don't exercise personally, and I would call sport a hobby.
I don't even understand how people function without physical activity. And what do you actually do after work? It's rare people work 16 hours a day + commute, there are free hours for everybody?

More importantly, I think it's necessary to have a life away from your kids. It's a good example for them, and it's healthier and become more necessary as they get older and more independent.

If you don't know how to occupy your free time, it will be very painful they day the last one leaves for uni or relocate somewhere else.

Yes, I think it’s a bit weird. Do you never have time for yourself at all? I assume you must be a lone parent as you don’t mention a partner, but even my lone parent friends have hobbies, they just do a lot of dragging of dc along with them.

I have similar age dc and Dh runs a busy business and I used to have a big London job with a commute (currently off long term sick due to cancer). But even with cancer, I have hobbies.

I garden and enter some horticulture/floral design competitions. I hike and swim. I walked a Camino for 9 days a couple years ago. I have 2 horses and ride when I can. Dh mountain bikes and climbs and does bikepacking trips. We do it evenings, weekends and when we’re off work. And we do a lot of this stuff with the dc so weekends are filled with ‘hobbies’. They don’t really get a choice if they come along or not, except for the older one who can sometimes stay home on her own.

I don’t know what else we’d be doing in our free time other than sitting around being bored staring at screens.

well put.

No hobbies either, I always go to bed with the good intention of reading, but in reality im exhausted

To me hobbies are something you feel you should do/have, that require a dedicated space, equipment, skill and effort, rather than just a fun or relaxing activity.
To me a hobby would be woodworking, sewing projects, making train sets, golfing maybe. Going for walks, cinema, reading, travelling would not count as hobbies for me. I haven't got a hobby but I have lots of things I like doing and seeing. I have quite a negative view of hobbies I think from being forced to do them as a kid. Tap dancing, girl guides, collecting things etc.

If you have no hobbies,how do you fill your free time? And I guarantee you will have some free time.
More importantly, how do you carve out some independent life for yourself? What will you do when you retire and/or kids leave home?
You're not necessarily unreasonable, but I find it quite sad when a person doesn't have hobbies.

Seinfeld did an episode on this. If it’s something you do on the regular and you enjoy doing it then it’s a hobby.

I think certain hobbies are a class/money thing. For example you need money to keep horses and declare horse riding as a hobby. But not every person who keeps horses is in the upper class.

I have a relative who flies planes as a hobby. He used to use his father in laws plane but I suspect he has since purchases his own. I had another relative who used to own his own plane and flew it as a hobby.

A friend of mine had an affair with a man who was very wealthy and who used to jump out of helicopters on top of mountains and go skiing - so that was his hobby.

I know people who go paddle boarding as a hobby. One female used to do flamenco dancing.

I think doing yoga or Pilates is a hobby especially if it gets you out of the house. Which means going to the gym is a hobby.

I used to play soccer, netball and beach volleyball. It was considered necessary to do some sort of team sports as an adult where I used to live. I tried getting into netball when I moved cities but the people were weird.

My hobbies are pottering around and dithering and meandering. All in my own time.

I wouldn't class going to the cinema as a hobby unless you were doing it more than two times a week so it depends how often.

I think if you have something you really enjoy you find time to fit it in, even if not very often. I have some leisure activities I would consider a hobby that I maybe only do for an average of an hour a month. If you have time for mumsnetting you probably have time for a hobby but that’s not to say that one is better than the other.

Well l would go so far as to say you do have a hobby, even if it's just posting and scrolling on MN 😁

@FedupofArsenalgame but would you class going to the cinema as a hobby?
The days of just watching whatever ITV are showing at 8pm are long gone.
People make more of a decision about what to watch. Therefore.... it's a hobby.

Is Mumsnet a hobby? Or time on social media?

like many others I lack long term consistency- sometimes I don’t like something I’ve tried, sometimes I do but I lack time/money etc. I really wanted to get into pottery, signed up for a class, pandemic came. Post Covid I started the course but we had to wear masks. I didn’t enjoy that time at all. Pottery not for me.

I really want to learn to sail but it’s too much of a time commitment right now.

but my life has changed dramatically over the last year now my youngest is old enough to stay home alone for a few hours, take responsibility for getting herself ready for school etc. This has given me much more freedom to do what I want to do.

never met a man on my hobbies. That’s what you get for being interested in sea swimming, yoga, feminism, dancing etc.

i cycle but never in Lycra so it’s transportation not hobby.

I wouldn’t class reading in general as a hobby but I would count my obsession with the Strike detective books as a hobby.

there is so much I enjoy doing with loads more to discover. Shame working full time & parenting takes so much time. When my dc leave home I’ll give up daily cooking completely- funny as pre dc I would have counted cooking as a hobby. Now I can’t wait to live on a pot of daal all week so I have more time for hobbies.

I’m a mum and also have no hobbies since becoming one! Before id spend my free time trying new hairstyles/makeup looks but now any free time or if DH takes the baby for the day I just spend it laying around on the sofa relaxing and enjoying the silence. Usually having a scroll on here!

It is hard when you are working and your kids are little but I do think it is important to find time for something you have a passion for. It really helps your mental health.I kept up a couple of hobbies when my kids were young and now I can devote a lot more time to them. The days fly by, I have met lots of people through them and it has really expanded my horizons. I think you are in a position lots of people find themselves in, so there is nothing wrong or weird about you, but if you can find a hobby you love, I think your life will be better for it.