How would you feel if someone told you you are not needed

(Its popularity never seems to cease) The reason NOT to have one
> Your weddin WILL B just the same as all of the others
Somethin everybody KNOWS how to do (HopScotch) haven`t done that for years, makes it new AND original - people WILL join in, drunk people laffin havin fun - it IS what weddin parties are all about

Just put it out of your mind and go no contact and make sure your DH has minimal contact, if they say anything again point out to them DH chose you he didn't choose either of them.

I would just love it if someone did this to me - I would wipe the floor with her.

Ahh the Good Old Photo Booth🤳

Its popularity never seems to cease, and with good reason. There is just something particularly fun about squeezing into a little booth with friends or even people you did not know before the wedding, to take some silly photos. The bonus of a photo booth is that most of them offer immediate printouts so your guests can leave with a little souvenir.

Show your sister-in-law that, you ARE needed.

> Get 1 over your sister-in-law
AND
Look good to everybody else

NOT NEEDED - IS the theme, make your self needed
Take the theory ...

What on earth are you talking about? Did you actually read the original post?

I don't think there's a blanket condemnation of single women or spinsters here. However those who make a point of not building a life of their own and then try to insert themselves inappropriately into others' lives are a problem.

And yes, of course your immediate family changes when you marry and have children with someone. There's a pretty batshit thread going on right now about a nightmare MIL who doesn't want to accept that her son's wife is more important to him than she, his mother, at this point in his life. The same applies to brothers and sisters (I like the term 'diblings', tbh), grandparents, cousins etc. You marry someone because you choose them above all others, you are deciding to make them your family. It doesn't make single people sad or irrelevant, it's just a different relationship. Dibling and parent relationships are still important but they are no longer the primary relationship. If the OP's sister in law can't see that then she is definitely the unreasonable one.

Are you on the wrong thread? This one is nothing to do with weddings or parties...

She is taking out her misery and pain on you. After close to 30 years of being with DH his sister has been vile to me reaching a peak at around age 45. She has been the only issue in our marriage. She absolutely wanted to marry and have children. She dominated many a family get together with her tales of trying to find a partner, she made it very plain. She was fine with me till she hit about 43 and realised children were never going to happen.

I have a few friends who never married or had children but they do not take it out on other people. It is quite possible to criticise a singular women who you know the story of and are part of the story of and who is a bitter woman because she’s didn’t get married and have children, it doesn’t mean you think all women are like that, I don’t.

Re: What?

The wedding IS about the bride - that IS just how weddings work.
You don`t feel needed at the wedding, let the wedding be about the bride - allow that to happen.

Make the after party somethin - where you ARE needed.
Get everybody playing Hopscotch.
I HAVE given you the rules ... ^^ - this IS your chance to look good.
The bride HAS had her moment - now have YOUR moment
> Set the grid - get EVERYBODY playin hopscotch - it WILL be fun, people drinking and playing hopscotch - you WILL be the hero - such a simple idea, why didn`t I think of doin it - people WILL join in GUARANTEED

The SIL sounds like a bit of a bully. Your DH sounds as if he is a compassionate person - the complete opposite to his sister. If I were in your shoes, I'd keep my distance from the SIL and MIL as much as possible; don't sink to their level by engaging with them unless there is no alternative.

If somebody say`s that you are not needed the simple thing to do IS
> Show that you ARE needed - Cancel that suggestion OUT

Bring somethin MORE to the situation

Adapt and change your strategy as appropriate
This instance, for a wedding

Wedding
> a marriage ceremony and any celebrations such as a meal or a party that follow it

The after party - that IS where you ARE needed
Get your kit

Hopscotch is a game involving hopping through numbered squares and tossing a marker (like a stone) into each one. Here's a basic guide:

To Play:
Draw the grid: Create a hopscotch grid using chalk on concrete or asphalt. The typical layout consists of numbered squares, with some pairs of squares side-by-side.

Choose a marker: Select a small object like a stone, beanbag, or marker.

Toss the marker: The first player tosses the marker into square one.

Hop: Start hopping through the squares, skipping the one with the marker. Use one foot in single squares and both feet in double squares.

Return: Turn around and hop back, picking up the marker on the way.

Next square: If the player completes the turn without mistakes, they toss the marker into square two on their next turn, and so on.

Winning: The first person to successfully complete all the squares (1-10) wins

The bride HAS the wedding
> You MAKE the after party YOURS

Get everybody playin Hopscotch - TRUST ME it WILL show that you ARE needed

Yes your sil is a twat but jesus the fucking misogyny on this thread!

She's 50 so she's a bitter old spinster, she's a bitch, her life isn't worthy because she isn't with a partner or has kids, because of her life choice not to procreate she isn't a grown up.

No wonder patriarchy is strong when sisterhood behaves like this.

Yes she was wrong, yes you are fine to step back and not feel guilty.

@Amyrhaf
I dont want to derail your thread fully and I agree there is something very off and unnecessarily unkind with your SIL.
However I still dont agree with your logic ( and to be fair it's not just you)
If I move out, so am not living under the roof with anyone and my parents are passed do I have an immediate family?
Is my married sister still my immediate family but I am not hers?
So in time of crisis I should support her but not if its the other way around?
I dont want an answer here , I'd just like married people to think things through before beeing so quick to dismiss the family of origin or single people as second class.

These thoughts aren't specific to your original.situation, it's just something I often see on mumsnet that makes me feel sad and as if I'm somehow considered as less than when I dont feel I or other single peole are.

So I'm single, who are my immediate family? Don't I have one?

The SIL.in the op sounds very strange and her comments unnecessary and disrespectful.
In the absence of some huge back story both she and her mother are rude and irrational.

However the smugness and dismissal of spinsters, single people and siblings here is disgusting. There is room for all kinds of relationships in peoples lives.
When you have a second child you dont stop loving your first. Why, when you get a wife do you have to downgrade your relationship with other family?

its not the first time ive seen this attitude on here and its sad and pathetic.

All the comments about meeting his physical needs etc, are childish and weird as if that's all that counts in a relationship or some kind of trump card.

Has she always been a massive cow 🐮

Yeah, clearly lonely because she's a nasty cow. Don't give them another thought OP. Definitely jealous resentment. She's a bitch. And YOU don't NEED the likes of her !!!

So SIL told you basically ro 'go away', and now MIL is blaming you that SIL is 'lonely'. Maybe she is lonely because she is a b*tch?
They sound horrible.
Most important though - how are things with your Hubby?
Please tell me he supports you and not the dreadful outlaws.
xxx