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Original poster

To think birthdays as a single mum are depressing?

39 replies

Lmnop22 · 05/06/2025 12:06

It’s my birthday tomorrow so I’m going to buy myself a cake and wrap myself a present from my DC (5 and 1) so that I have something to open in the morning and so there’s a cake to celebrate after work/school/nursery. Then they will go to bed and I’ll just be alone.

Don’t get me wrong, I will love the handmade cards they’ll likely make at school/nursery and there’s nobody I would rather spend time with then them but it just feels a bit sad and lonely….

OP posts:
RaininSummer · 05/06/2025 13:04

Have a lovely birthday. Get yourself something nice to eat/drink/watch/read in the evening. Model a happy birthday tea to you children. Do candles and sing. Then they know what it's meant to look like.

PicaK · 05/06/2025 12:59

🎂🎉❤️

PicaK · 05/06/2025 12:58

I feel you. It is crap. There's only you to pamper you. But it's a good thing to teach your kids that everyone can celebrate and treat themselves.
It'll stop them feeling like we feel. So that's why I buck up, hang up my own happy birthday sign and post jolly pics on fb. I want it to be the norm for them whilst also growing their tasks/contributions year on year.

Original poster
Lmnop22 · 05/06/2025 12:58

sesquipedalian · 05/06/2025 12:57

“wrap myself a present from my DC (5 and 1)”

I hope they know what the present is! Next year, give your five year old (who I assume will then be six) some money and tell him to choose you a present - eg “I’d really like some chocolate/hair ties/a notebook/whatever for my birthday, so you need to go and buy it and wrap it up for me. Remember it’s a surprise - don’t let me see it before my birthday! You don’t even have to go shopping specially; a supermarket will do. I’m sure DC would be pleased to have the responsibility, and then with a present and a cake, you’ve got a birthday!

That’s a nice idea for next year for sure! He would love that, didn’t really occur to me since he only goes where I take him to just him go off and choose something with some spending money - love that idea though.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lmnop22 · 05/06/2025 12:57

january1244 · 05/06/2025 12:48

@Lmnop22happy birthday for tomorrow! Hope you have a lovely day.

parenting a one year old can be pretty relentless. And on your birthday you’re doing the early morning wake up, bedtime routine etc alone. I completely understand.

I think this is it probably - just same old relentless routine even on my birthday.

But it is what I make it so I’ll get the party hats out, put them on a few of the kids’ toys, make a party tea and cake and enjoy their excitement!

OP posts:
sesquipedalian · 05/06/2025 12:57

“wrap myself a present from my DC (5 and 1)”

I hope they know what the present is! Next year, give your five year old (who I assume will then be six) some money and tell him to choose you a present - eg “I’d really like some chocolate/hair ties/a notebook/whatever for my birthday, so you need to go and buy it and wrap it up for me. Remember it’s a surprise - don’t let me see it before my birthday! You don’t even have to go shopping specially; a supermarket will do. I’m sure DC would be pleased to have the responsibility, and then with a present and a cake, you’ve got a birthday!

Comedycook · 05/06/2025 12:50

Honestly there's plenty of women with partners who don't get any special treatment on their birthdays so to be honest, even if you weren't a single mum, don't think you'd be waking up to roses and breakfast in bed!

january1244 · 05/06/2025 12:48

@Lmnop22happy birthday for tomorrow! Hope you have a lovely day.

parenting a one year old can be pretty relentless. And on your birthday you’re doing the early morning wake up, bedtime routine etc alone. I completely understand.

Original poster
Lmnop22 · 05/06/2025 12:43

I’m not going to be negative around my DC at all, we will have a birthday tea, cake and candles and celebrate me for sure. Just feels a bit different organising your own fun celebration I suppose!

I’m also not having some pity party as I’m seeing family over the weekend with all the kids etc. No friends that live close enough to pop in for the evening and the kids have been a bit crap at getting down lately so likely a bit too late for visitors once I get that all done.

You’re right though I need to just snap out of it, celebrate myself and enjoy my kids and then have a well deserved wine once they’re in bed.

Thanks all for giving my head a wobble!

OP posts:
IHateMoist · 05/06/2025 12:39

This reminds me of that ridiculous young woman that filmed herself crying whilst making her own birthday cake with some caption about being a single mother and then posted it online. 😂🙄
Birthdays are what you make them. If you approach it with a negative mindset then yes it will likely be rubbish.

Stressfordays · 05/06/2025 12:35

Birthdays don't have to be lonely as a single parent. Do you have any friends or family you can celebrate with? Can you take the kids for a day out? I enjoy the zoo and have taken my 3 to the zoo with a picnic for my own birthday. I've had friends come round after bedtime for a few drinks and some silly games.

You can't sit and wallow every day after becoming a single parent, you have to get up and show your kids life goes on. Bad things happen but you get up and move on. Make friends, make the best of situations, build a support network.

SilviaSnuffleBum · 05/06/2025 12:32

As a single Mother to twins (aged 7) I have never found my birthday - or any other 'celebration' - depressing, sad or lonely just because I'm single.
If you want to celebrate, do so with friends and/or family. Or, do something with your kid. Celebrate yourself!
Don't wallow or rely upon external validation from others.

arghhhhh123 · 05/06/2025 12:12

Absolutely celebrate it! Cake and present and maybe some flowers and a nice drink? I don’t drink alcohol but even some nice pink lemonade or something. The children will be excited. It’s important to show them you’re worth of celebration too.

It’s depressing if you allow it to be. Think of all the women who get nothing from their partner anyway, or have to buy gifts for their partner to give them. That’s worse.

outingouting · 05/06/2025 12:09

Do you have any friends OP? Can you invite someone over once DD is in bed?