To think birthdays as a single mum are depressing?

I hear what you are saying. I hope you have a lovely day with your children, I'm sure in a few years they will be making special surprises for you, happy birthday 🎂

Happy Birthday OP 🎈😊…
I completely get what you’re saying , yes it’s nice obviously you will celebrate with your kids , lonely aswel not to have a partner to share your birthday with .. I’m sure lots feel the same ..
Won’t always be like that though, & you will meet someone nice x

I hear you on this. Totally. This will be my second birthday as a single parent… but this one is my 40th 😔. I’ll admit I’m gutted.
my 39th last year when exH and I were very newly separated… he gave me a card from the kids (all young) and my gift was “when you lose weight, I’ll take you shopping for some new clothes”. I’m embarrassed to say that I thanked him for my ‘gift’ which of course never came.

couldn’t agree more with showing your children you are worth having a day of celebrating you.
i went through the years of buying by own presents and cake as their father would never do it (ex btw) despite me doing it for them for him.
now they are teens they go to the shop themselves with the pocket money they have saved and earned and buy me something they can afford they they know i’ll like.
they make me breakfast in bed and sort out the takeaway for tea (i do pay for this but they order, lay the table, clear up).
this is because i showed them that these things and little acts of kindness and thoughtfulness matter from an early age.
what also made a difference was friends and family recognising that i might appreciate a bit ‘extra’ that day and help my children wrap a present or make a card.
it will get better for you in time. just model the behaviour you want to see them learn for when they are old enough to implement it themselves.

I kind of agree, I know people are trying to be positive but last year sat in Pizza Hut (had to pick a kiddy restaurant not somewhere I would have chosen) alone with my kids couldn’t help but feel how depressing it is.

Is their dad your partner or your ex? I hope the latter.

I always book a day’s leave as a birthday present to myself. I take DS to school then spend the day looking after me. I’ve been known to go to a spa or lunch. Occasionally I will go out with a friend. The other thing I do is save up vouchers or points so I can treat myself during the day. Either way don’t wait for others to celebrate with you !

Get yourself some treats for when the kids are in bed, have a soak in a lovely bubble bath, get your comfiest pj's on and watch something you love! Happy birthday for tomorrow 💐

Turns out that ridiculous woman (if it's the viral video I am thinking of) lost custody of her children to her ex, and wasn't allowed to see them.

Yes exactly this. Sorry you’ve had some not nice responses

My husband left two weeks before my 40th birthday and it was so depressing. DC still made it fun though, and I had ordered a little cake and a present for myself so we kept things as normal as possible. Not going to lie, I was really sad but happy DC were there. I suspect it will get easier with time.

Happy birthday for tomorrow OP! 🥳 Hope you have a lovely day. Maybe you'll get a bit of me time when the kids are in bed and you can treat yourself to a nice bath/glass of wine/cake etc.

Why do you think they will be making you handmade cards for your birthday at school and nursery? They usually only do that for Mother’s Day.

If you don't have family or friends local, could you arrange a video call for once the kids are in bed so you can have a birthday catch up with friends. Glass of wine, some chocolates and a laugh for an hour.

I do this with friends scattered around the country as a way to catch up and have a laugh together

Pissing myself at the Weetabix 😆

I do think you get used to advocating for yourself though. No point in waiting for someone to remember your birthday (especially not the DC!)- if you want a fuss made, you have to TELL EVERYONE, REPEATEDLY AND IN ADVANCE, THAT IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY AND A FUSS MUST BE MADE!!

I organised my own 50th- it was nerve-wracking, but ultimately an epic success and I felt thoroughly spoilt. So many presents! (which I wasn't expecting, I just wanted people to turn up). But if I hadn't created the event on Facebook and repeatedly reminded people on all platforms, nobody would have remembered!

When my kids were younger I used to put up the Christmas decorations on my birthday, we all loved it and its still a tradition now that I have 2 adults, 2 teens and 2 tweens.

I also used to take the older ones to the corner shop, give them some money and wait outside while they chose me a gift. Over the years I had weetabix, lots of sweets the kids love, some batteries and all sorts of other random nonsense.

I also used to buy cupcakes and let the kids decorate them for me as well, which is something else they still do.

It is difficult, but definitely get some of your own traditions going, you and the kids will love it and look back on the memories with great fondness.

I think you just get used to them and you get used to not feeling like it's your birthday.

Once I was buying my own birthday cake in the supermarket. DC too young to do that. The check out operator commented someone else should be buying the cake for me.

I didn't get into the fact I had no one else.

Have a glass of vino and watch a film.

I am a single parent and I love holidays. It feels very cozy with just us. I would get more irritated staying with family over the holidays tbh, and I don’t miss the holiday arguing/having to put on a big meal and entertain while DH is relaxing chatting with friends.

Yes it’s disheartening - not because of expecting to wake up to breakfast and roses in bed or whatever someone said above, but not having someone to have a glass of fizz or whatever with in the evening when the kids are asleep.

you’re allowed to feel a bit down about it and some of the posts above minimising it are a bit mean IMO.

I don't do it with them for their dad's birthday BECAUSE he would never return the favour 😈

I had some hysterical moments when the DC were younger sitting on the packing shelf on the other side of the tills at Lidl watching them wandering around the store clutching the fiver I'd just given them, trying to choose me some chocolates. The best one was when 6 year old DS1 proudly hid the chocolates under his top (so I wouldn't see them) and marched straight through the tills to me without stopping to actually pay for them 🤦‍♀️. Oh yeah, and a couple of years later he was very upset to be stopped at the till with the bottle of wine he was intending to buy me 😆

When my were little, my mum would take them shopping and help them wrap etc. can your family do that? I would do it for them for their dad's birthday but he never returned the favour.

The thing is while they’re young you’re teaching them how to celebrate with you. This year my 12 and 14 year old bought me a gift from their allowance, decorated the house with banners and balloons and bought me a cake. It’s the first year they’ve been able to do it independently but all the years previously they’ve learned how to mark birthdays by seeing what I do for them and by seeing me do it for myself - your time will come, but in the meantime you’re teaching them.