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Original poster

To not want my parents to go in my bedroom (I'm 33 yrs old)

414 replies

Gummybearmum · 05/06/2025 08:15

My parents have started looking after my 1 year old son one day a week so I can work. Both times they've been into mine and my partners bedroom. First time they said my baby crawled into there, so they went to get him out. Second time there was a little pile of clean laundry on our bed, when I came home mum had ironed it. I thanked her, as I know she's only trying to help, but she shouldn't have even known it was there. My partner really doesn't like it, he says it's our personal space. I agree but have no idea how to say to them..

OP posts:
WordsFailMeYetAgain · 06/06/2025 13:24

1SillySossij · 06/06/2025 12:09

Thread not going your way, so.... Drip, drip, drippity drip!

Edited
Show quote history

If people had bothered to read the OP's threads and updates, there wouldn't be any nasty comments like yours. If you can't say anything nice, SHUT UP!

FloraBotticelli · 06/06/2025 12:51

@1SillySossij don’t be so stupid. The OP didn’t need to give any backstory to justify why her mum’s behaviour is unacceptable.

1SillySossij · 06/06/2025 12:09

Gummybearmum · 05/06/2025 08:32

Thank you to the people who have kindly told me I'm being unreasonable. There really is no reason to be unkind, you never know what people have beeb through or are going through.

Growing up, myself and my siblings weren't allowed any privacy. Into our 20s our parents would often come into the bathroom while we were in the bath to put into context. Mum knew everything in my room, there was no keeping notes from boys in that room 😆 she also opened mail until I was in my 20s. So I think it's just taken me back to that, where I've been used to having my own space.

Thread not going your way, so.... Drip, drip, drippity drip!

gamerchick · 06/06/2025 12:07

Lockable doorknob.

honeyrider · 06/06/2025 12:06

OP would it make things easier for you if your DH mentioned your bedroom is a private space?

Original poster
Gummybearmum · 06/06/2025 09:49

@Eddie77 thank you, thats really good to hear as I so want to get it right for my children.

OP posts:
EleanorReally · 06/06/2025 09:47

i wouldnt like it either

Eddie77 · 06/06/2025 09:46

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. Yes, your mum is doing you a favour with the free childcare, which you are clearly aware of, and appreciative of, but that doesn't give her carte blanche to wander around your home, going into rooms she doesn't need to go in. It doesn't matter what is or isn't in your bedroom, it's your private space (and your OH's). Even before I saw your further posts, I didn't think you were being unreasonable btw, but having seen the extra information you added about your parents having no respect for anyone's privacy growing up, that just confirmed it for me.

My parents brought us up to be respectful of each other's space and I continue that with my kids. They're now 16 and 18 and I don't go into their bedrooms without permission. Clean laundry gets left by their bedroom door. They're happy for me to go in when they're home but I always knock as it's their space and I remember, as a teenager, appreciating my space being respected like that.

I've no idea how you approach this with your mum but wish you all the best sorting it out.

Clickjaw · 06/06/2025 08:34

Boredlass · 06/06/2025 08:32

It’s only a room

😆

13 pages and it didn’t occur to you to read a touch more than the OP to see if anything had developed?

Boredlass · 06/06/2025 08:32

It’s only a room

Clickjaw · 06/06/2025 08:13

Only when he came back from university op
so took years
disgraceful and cruel

Original poster
Gummybearmum · 06/06/2025 08:12

They did then listen to my brother after, as he really put his foot down. They thought he was being over the top, but they didn't do it to him again. Myself and my other brother had moved out by then.
My partner knows the whole story yes. There are so many layers to people, it's hard to get across on here, but my partner knows them well.
We already do some things differently with our own child to how they would have when we were children, which my parents thought odd to start, just a generational thing, but they do listen and follow how we want to parent.

OP posts:
Clickjaw · 06/06/2025 08:04

Gummybearmum · 06/06/2025 08:01

Yes he does, he obviously thinks it's very odd, as I understand it is now. When you grow up like it you don't know any different do you. We've therefore been able to chat about what we want for our own children. He also knows my parents well and doesn't think it's come from a bad place, just a misunderstanding of what's normal/right due to their own upbringings.

But the reaction of your parents to your teen brothers plea for privacy (to laugh and ignore him), that was cruel on a basic human level.

does your DP know that?

and he’s still happy to have your parents in sole charge of his baby?

Original poster
Gummybearmum · 06/06/2025 08:01

Yes he does, he obviously thinks it's very odd, as I understand it is now. When you grow up like it you don't know any different do you. We've therefore been able to chat about what we want for our own children. He also knows my parents well and doesn't think it's come from a bad place, just a misunderstanding of what's normal/right due to their own upbringings.

OP posts:
Clickjaw · 06/06/2025 07:52

Gummybearmum · 06/06/2025 07:49

Thank you everyone for your replies. I should have given context to the background of the situation in the original post.

Does your DP what happened during your childhood re parents invading bathroom privacy and ignoring your brother?

Original poster
Gummybearmum · 06/06/2025 07:49

Thank you everyone for your replies. I should have given context to the background of the situation in the original post.

OP posts:
sarah419 · 06/06/2025 06:37

so your parents are looking after your child and cleaning your house / getting housework done and your partner is talking about “personal space”?! do you think a nanny won’t go looking in your rooms?

Clickjaw · 05/06/2025 18:43

Radra · 05/06/2025 18:34

Yeah mine would have told me off for spending money on sex toys ..

Show quote history

This mum would have probably asked to borrow

Radra · 05/06/2025 18:34

Clickjaw · 05/06/2025 18:30

Not this mum if you read more about the background

Show quote history

Yeah mine would have told me off for spending money on sex toys ..

Clickjaw · 05/06/2025 18:30

Hollybobs1 · 05/06/2025 18:28

Leave "toys" lying around. That'll stop her going into your room 😂

Not this mum if you read more about the background

Hollybobs1 · 05/06/2025 18:28

Leave "toys" lying around. That'll stop her going into your room 😂

JustCopyeditorsAnnie · 05/06/2025 17:59

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

CleaningAngel · 05/06/2025 17:21

U53rn8m3ch8ng3 · 05/06/2025 08:26

What's so secret or sacred in your room?

I thought same, do you leave sex toys all over the floor whsts the big secret!!??

Zanatdy · 05/06/2025 17:15

If i was inviting my parents into my home to do free childcare I wouldn’t be rude enough to raise it. Pay for childcare or accept it happens. Wish I could return to the days when my mum did my ironing!

CannotWaitForSummervibes · 05/06/2025 16:36

I was going to ask why you don’t want them in your bedroom, but reading your updates I understand it.
op if you fon my feel comfortable telling your parents then I’d leave something embarrassing in your bedroom on purpose, like condoms or a vibrator on your nightstand. Something that will make them realise it’s your private space and embarrass them into not going into your bedroom again. And then just always shut the door.

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