To not want my parents to go in my bedroom (I'm 33 yrs old)

I have my grandson 2 days pw. I actually feel awkward, if I go into their bedroom...& only go in when necessary (if I can't see certain things I need for baby downstairs...or to put little man to sleep, if I have him in an evening).
I totally agree that your bedroom is your private space. You're not being unreasonable, if there was no reason for her to enter. (I do tend to help with a few chores...but its only downstairs jobs I do).

Honestly, if my parents were babysitting for me, for free, my only concern would be to make sure my bed was clean and tidy incase they needed a nap while my child did.
I can't imagine being annoyed at them for doing ironing and brining it to my room.
I guess everyone's relationship is different but if you can trust them with your CHILD in your home, then what's in your room that's so secret?!?

If it was that bad why on earth were you still living there in your 20s? Maybe the fa t you put up with that as an adult makes her think it's not a big deal

agree!

A marital bed and bedroom not private? Really? Is no one allowed anywhere that is private in their own home?

It sounds like it's your partner that has the issue and not you, so may be your partner should deal with it. I can't think of any reason why you wouldn't want your parents looking in your room. Do you think they'll steal something, or find your bondage gear or some such? At the end of the day, there's a simple solution, pay for a child minder, end of your 'problem'.

I think it's very rude to just go into someone else's bedroom without asking. But it sounds as if she's doing it on purpose with the false reason that she only did it so she could do the ironing

I wish our grandparents wanted to have our kids. It's happened twice in four years 😂 and ironing too ❤️.. I'd be leaving every door open, she sounds great.

But everyone is different and it sounds like it's upsetting you. If so, just close the doors or add a lock. I wouldn't mention it.

Lol is this for real, literally anybody family or friend can go in any room in our house and welcome to wether to watch tv, have a lie down or whatever. Bonkers

I know someone who's mother in-law use to do this, but on purpose to be nosey. They knew she was going into their room as they'd hear the door creaking, it was the only door that creaked. One Sunday, when they were over, mother in law went for her usual nose into their bedroom. They heard her loudly gasp, came down stairs and made an excuse to leave. It turned out that wife had left a bondage outfit on the bed, gimp mask, whips the lot. She never went in again.

Maybe they have toys they don't want people to see..... just put a lock on the door and say it's too keep little one out. Get one of them twist key security lock things and take the key away. Then u don't look crazy with a padlock on thr door

Why don't you put a lock on the door. That way you don't have to say anything to them. My mum would never go into my room as I would never go into hers either

given your updates she will definitely snoop, given a chance!! Lock on the bedroom door. No important mail left hanging about! Not great all this backstory wasn’t on original OP as it puts a totally different slant on things. And it is not normal for parents to just walk in while adult child is in the bath! No lock on that door either??

She obviously thinks you aren’t coping as you aren’t paying for childcare and not keeping up with your housework. Either accept her help or pay for childcare, if you use people you pay in other ways.

I was a nanny and I tried to avoid going in the parents bedroom, but for things like putting washing on their bed I did. I never snooped, I’m sure your mum means well but if you don’t want her to then leave something embarrassing out haha xxx

Loving Grandparents oftentimes look after their Grandchildren willingly & freely This lovely Mum didn't request nor expect her own mum to do chores Just because a Grandparent is looking after her Grandchildren-
It doesn't then give them permission or rights, to go into private personal space - Private is private, Grandparents or not

Yes. FFS! You're getting free childcare, your Mum is doing small household chores for you and you're complaining?

If it upsets your partner so much, pay for childcare. Then there's no need for your parents to even BE at your house.

Absolutely not being unreasonable, it is not your room it is you and your partners room and they must respect his space as well as yours. It is a line badly crossed and needs an assertive word to there boundaries. A lock will only entice awkward questions.
Carolina reaper oil or powder on the door handle might be a good plan lol.

My mum does this. It's really annoying. One time she took all the jumpers and scarves out of my sister's bedroom drawers and washed them.

I don't think their going to be looking through your nicker draw or sniffing your fellas boxers, do you?
Based on the OP's posts, the former sounds very likely and the latter entirely possible.

I wouldn't let myself into someone else's bedroom unnecessarily, I do think it's a personal space.

I also wouldn't assume that providing childcare entitles me to bedroom access.

Acknowledging that a lot of people seem to think differently, though, I'd just ask them not to go in, and explain that you and DP don't feel entirely comfortable with it. Shouldn't be a big deal.

(I say "shouldn't", acknowledging that my own mother completely flips her lit if you try and set even the smallest boundary!)

I get that you are keen to maintain some private space now you have your own place after feeling like you didn’t have any growing up and that’s totally understandable. A lock on your bedroom door might be a sensible way to go - when the kids are older you might want to lock it when you are in there ! Alternatively what about your parents look after the baby at their house- you could suggest it would make it easier for them as they can get on with their own chores/ relax when the baby is asleep . Also this might allow the odd overnight when the time is right . Unfortunately nursery places don’t always fit around work schedules . There’s always a compromise between having family with their own ideas about childcare and paid care where you might have more chance making the rules . Maybe look into nursery places sooner rather than later as they often have a waiting list .

Yes snooping is not acceptable 💚🌼😢

I babysat for my gd a couple of weeks ago and dm said I'd better be careful! Apparently as dd1 and her dh has 3 echo dots her dh must also have a camera to see what I'm getting up to! I told her she was wrong but I wasn't going to be doing anything dodgy so it wouldn't matter (not that I want to be filmed but not because I was going to snoop or anything).

So providing childcare for grandchild comes with the condition of being able to snoop to the bedroom. Op has already replied that her parents didn’t respect her privacy even in her 20s and used to open her mails.