To not want my parents to go in my bedroom (I'm 33 yrs old)

Simply put a lock on your bedroom door- Simple and to the point, no need to even address it with them. They will definitely get the message. What can they even say? We wanted to snoop in your room, but the door was locked

Completely Concur With You Wholeheartedly Sincere Soul
Brilliant post
I think there's numerous souls whom can't comprehend how violated you feel unless you yourself have suffered a snooping nosey parker interfering parent
The worst are those whom behold double standards
They would detest if you went through their belongings but still go through yours 😥
My father thrown out sentimental items belongings of my Children & I's
Bang out of order so I empathise compassionately with anyone whom's had the upsetting violating experience of this or something similar too
💚🌼💚

Just tell them not to go in there. If you are worried then then put a lock on the door. You can excuse it as the fact that they told you the baby got into the room while they were looking after said baby, and that you have medications etc etc etc in there and don't want the baby to get into it - so are putting the lock on the door for peace of mind.

Hey, my mom was a massive snooper, and a mean one too. Put a lock on the door and don’t say a word. Problem solved 💛

Your mother chooses to ignore any boundaries set. Laughing at your brothers need for privacy growing up is bad enough.

But doing nothing to protect your privacy from your father coming into the bathroom while you were bathing naked in your 20’s? Come on OP, that’s nowhere near normal.

Don’t allow them to do that to your son.

People, even parents, will sometimes snoop in places they have no right to. I don't buy that the baby crawled into your room unless someone was negligent watching the baby. Maybe right through the doorway, but should have been instantly scooped up. And as you said, she wouldn't have known there were clothes to be ironed if she wasn't in there looking around.

It's not just your mother entering your bedroom like she might have when you were a kid. It's your husband's room too, and your parents cross a line when they enter his private domain. Just casually mention that you've starting closing the door because you and hubby feel kind of invaded when someone goes in your room, and you don't want to tempt the baby anymore.

Immensely imperative valid point
God Bless You&Yours
Thank you
Numerous grandparents willingly & unconditionally choose to look after their Grandchildren freely
That's the privilege of being a Grandparent, it's not a chore, looking after your Beloved Precious Grandchildren

One pays in privacy? Is that the fair cost of childcare is that nowhere in your own home is private? Where can a person have privacy if not on their own bedroom.?

If she was paying her mother, would OP be then have the right to privacy, as a fully functioning adult, with boundaries in an adult relationship where she shares a private bedroom with her partner?

There's much more to personal private space, than not slumbering, in someone else's bed
Boundaries & private space should always be respected, even by Welcome Visitors or Family

My heart goes out to, God Bless Your Sincere Soul
Yes Completely Compassionately Empathise & Really Relate To Your Upsetting Violating Experiences
It was my father whom did the snooping & it's totally out of order, unacceptable & it is all about controlling other individuals
Horrendously horrible circumstances to live under & if someone's never experienced this type of violation of their own privacy they can't possibly understand
Much Love To You&Yours From Me&Mine

I really feel for you,as a person whose mother went through my things every day from when I was at school to the day I escaped at 17. I knew she was doing it so I would put things in a certain position,measure that position then check when I got back. I was always right, things had moved and I felt so violated. No idea what she thought she'd find!
Put a lock on your door, you don't have to say anything about it.Or, they could look after your child at theirs?

I don't think you're BU to not want anyone in your private space while you're not home however, unless you've anything to hide does it really matter if your Mum goes in? why not leave something very embarrassing on your bedside cabinet that might make her think twice about going in again . You could also leave your laundry pile in the Kitchen & she may take the hint not to go in your room. If it really bothers you that much get a little lock on the door so she can't get in.

Aha, you have a cunning plan 😂

Every individual's circumstances are unique & different
There are some parents whom would cause more problems if you dared to put a lock on your bedroom door
Not all parents are just trying to make life simpler
We can never judged others circumstances upon our own

So unfair. Your parents love you and are trying to make your life easier. Hide anything embarrassing such as sex touys ....

Free childcare is never free. Stop asking them to babysit.

I would have loved to have had some help from my parents or his parents when our children were small. Mine lived 6 hours away, his mother was disabled. I'd have put up with virtually anything to have had that luxury and would have worked round it. How much does a lock for the bedroom cost if you're that bothered?

Have you ever addressed this with them?

You've obviously had a slightly different upbringing than most on here. I'm sure they're nice people i. Your eyes, never harmed you, but in some ways they have harmed you by controlling your childhood, teen years and young adult life. Whatever they have been through as children themselves, doesn't mean this has to reflect on you. You clearly have issues with them which is completely understandable.

Have some strong words with them. Their house rules are theirs, not yours and your rules are yours. Its your house and ask them not to go in your room, if they go against this or if your mum starts to cry or they argue back strongly rethink your childcare as they sound controlling, but in a soft way.

Stand your grou d, tell them kindly but firmly that they are not allowed in your bedroom and go from there. It's your life and your partner and child's.

So you want free childcare from your mum but dont want her in certain rooms?

If she was rummaging through your stuff, then YANBU but she did ironing for you. Rather ungrateful. If you dont like her going in certain rooms, pay for childcare privately somewhere that's away from your home.

Problem solved.

But that's you and if that's true, you have no boundaries. Most peoplehave boundaries and everyone has a right to privacy. The price to pay for childcare and ironing and is not to relinquish your privacy. Why would it be?

Why do people say things like, if this is all you have to worry about when posters never suggest this is the only thing they have to worry about. As a parent of 1 year old I'm sure OP is a bag of worries. How condescending.

I suppose OP should miss having her teenage room rifled through and being unable to take a bath without being walked in on, in her 20s! as well her parents asking her to go in to the bathroom while they were naked in the bathroom. You mean that sort of missing someone? Should she just try to understand her parents and ignore her own basic, human, decent boundaries?

I don’t think YABU but that’s based on my relationship with my parents.

Exactly

I had a tumultous childhood, for many reason but my mum played a big part. Even though i did love my mum and I had a strong sense of duty towards her she used to annoy me

When I visit her abroad she would go to my wardrobe in the bedroom of her home that I am using. She would organise my shirts and trousers in grouos, then she would go into the drawers ans organise my socks and underwear. Then she would go the thr dresser and organise my loose change currency notes and any receipts.

It used to annoy the sh*t out of me, in my mind she was treating me like a little boy and saying that you can’t cope on your own. I left home at seventeen I can, I live on my own, I can cope and I am very organised, but when I’m away I like to slob out a bit.

When I relayed the above to my best friend, he said to me. ‘ You’ll miss her when she’s gone! He then went on to say. My mother and I used to clash terribly, we often had arguments. He further added, now she has since passed away , and I really miss her now she’s gone.

Well that made me step back and think, instead of being being like a petulant little boy inside, I started to do more for my mother than I already do. Instead of focusing on my childhood I started to focus on hers as a poverty stricken child in the mountains of Cyprus, crapping in a hole in the ground, using smooth pebbles and leaves to clean herself afterwards, no shoes and married at sixteen to escape my alcoholic abuse grandfather.

What my mother is trying to do by interfering with my stuff is trying to be the mother to me at eighty three years old that she could not be when she was seventeen years old when she had me

Im not a mummies boy, far from it, but my mother had always been there for me to talk to, the only woman ever had been.

I if she wasn’t to play about with my belongings then she’s welcome, is she’s wanted to do my ironing I know it’s because she’s wants to blow me and show love

If this is all you and your partner have to worry and moan about in life then you really don’t have many problems.

Love and cherish your mum, because you'll miss her when she’s gone!

I remember when DD was small, MIL tried everything in the book to get in our house - she was always welcome but FIL had dementia and it was her way of getting him out of the house. It was too stressful for me being a new mum, I needed to chill and rest not be wound up & play babysitter to them. They never came when DH was at home, mind you he was neither use nor ornament as far as helping out with DD/housework was concerned. His bright idea was saying that his mum had asked for a key to the house so that she could come & do chores without having to disturb me - no, no, no definately not. He was just trying to lighten his own load & keep his mum happy.

I left him when DD was 3, useless piece of 💩