Sophie Ellis-Bextor concert. Ugh

They do, but the point is you should read the room first to see if it something that is likely to be liked by the individual because not everyone likes it, especially from randoms they don’t know. I don’t need random men’s validation that I look nice. Some men seem to think I must be waiting on their approval. They’re always the nobs.

Yes it is. When I was 9 months pregnant with my first born, 1993, I was walking to the local shop and a group of builders decided to wolf whistle me. I had a bump out front, it was clearly there. I was shocked and visibly upset. The woman serving me was most sympathetic.

On my way back the gaffer was waiting and apologised most profusely. Now why would he do that?

Hot is not the same as pretty. Hot is sexual. I can't be arsed to argue. Plenty of girls would like to be complimented as do boys.

I don't know how some of you watch romantic movies without pulling it apart, like the Notebook.

I wouldn’t have started a thread about it, but it depends on the circumstances as to whether it’s appropriate or not.

If a random boy told my teen daughter she was pretty, she wouldn’t really like it. Why would she care to know if he thought she was pretty?

A boy that she knows, who has read the room, knows she would like to be told that by him, all good.

Girls and women aren’t all waiting around to receive feedback on how they look. I’m not sure why some men think we are.

Whilst I was running recently, a man told me I looked hot . When I told him to fuck off, he asked what my problem was as he was ‘being nice and it was a compliment’. Erm, no.

A boy telling a girl at college that she is pretty is OK though. As long as he didn't harass her. The Mum was being dramatic.

You could Google it…

But it’s a community for bisexual and bi-curious women where they can explore their sexuality with other likeminded women.

What the f*ck is the ‘skirt club?!

What? Thats not what I said at all.

I’ve been ‘chatted up’ hundreds of times and it’s fine. Attraction is normal and it’s often how relationships start. As long as they’re respectful and take no for an answer, then it’s fine. I met my partner in a bar. We talked to each other. He didn’t randomly whistle, wink and make sexual comments to me because he’s not a creep. You can be flirty without being creepy. As a pp said, you spend a bit of time reading the room.

Where did I say a man complimenting a woman is disrespectful?

People are saying that man can’t even talk to women now. I’m saying that’s not true, just be respectful!

Imo wolf whistling isn’t respectful and it matter who is doing it and who it’s aimed at.

As a straight women and not a member of the skirt club I don't think a man complimenting a woman is disrespectful if it's done tasteful.

As for the wolf whistling at SEB concert. I think it was probably gay men. If it wasn't, it probably offended OP more than SEB. Not because she was asking for it but she just probably care.

I’m in my mid 40’s. I’m well aware of how people used to meet. Those interactions can still be respectful.

Well if he walks off straight away and she likes him then it's pretty pointless. That's how people used to get together before the Internet. Meet at college, in bars, at parties etc.

Honestly my first thought was - were they gay men?

I agree that comment doesn’t seem problematic but none of us know the context.
However, this is a wider discussion and one in which some people are claiming men can’t say anything anymore. Which is rubbish!

'She can wear exactly what she wants, but she was also fully aware of the fact that wearing a very short skirt and bending over would illicit the exact reaction she was looking for and encouraging!'

@Lanzarotelady Have you had your brain removed, love?

Maybe the shit for brains men will pick you! Or maybe you are a shit for brains man.

Telling someone they are pretty is hardly overstepping the line. I used to get told I had nice eyes by people I'd just met. It's not something that bothered me. I mean if they had commented on my breasts sooner than 10 minutes I might have been shocked.

An interesting observation…
I’m bisexual and have been ‘chatted up’ by both men and women.
Interestingly, women manage to do this without wolf whistling/leering/winking/making sexual comments.

That’s not what’s being said.
What is being suggested is that instead of going straight for the wolf whistle/wink/comment about physical appearance try a conversation. Spend some time reading the room and understanding whether the above is appropriate or would be appreciated.

Chatting someone up doesn’t have to involve sexual comments or behaviour.

So every boy/man who has chatted a girl/woman up is a creep?

The issue is that these creepy men behave how they want without knowing the woman well enough to know how it will be received by her. If they don’t know for sure a woman will be ok with it, then they shouldn’t be doing it, whether that’s whistling, winking, commenting certain things etc.

It's all subjective. What one woman finds inappropriate, another woman might find acceptable within her personal boundaries. The post from puzzledpartridge highlighting a previous post from a woman who was furious about a boy the same age as her daughter telling her she was pretty is my idea of 'bullshit'

Madness

It’s all about context though isn’t it?
If my boss or any male colleague was to wink at me then that would be inappropriate and unwelcome.

On threads like this you always get people who say ‘you can’t do or say anything nowadays’ or something similar. That’s just ridiculous, and absolutely not true.
It’s about exercising your judgment, reading a situation, understanding context…
People can have fun and respectful interactions without resorting to inappropriate behaviour.

If you can’t manage an interaction respectfully, then the issue lies with you not the people calling out inappropriate behaviour.

That’s bullshit. A look or glance are fine. Staring, leering etc isn’t. I don’t want to be winked at, I don’t know any woman that would. Some men seem to think it’s a great flirting technique but I think they just come across as creepy and a bit dim.