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DH tells me off publicly when I interrupt him while he's on the phone and I hate it - AIBU?

4 replies

Zeemie22 · 04/06/2025 20:42

My DH (44) tells me (36) off and doesn't hold back around friends or family if I interject while he's on a call, even if it is with a casual friend or one of his brothers or his mum or whoever else, not just business calls which I almost never interrupt. It makes me feel disrespected, like I'm small and I'm not allowed to be a part of that conversation even if it's his brother on the phone making plans for everyone getting together for a family lunch and me saying hey how about that XYZ place we went to. I said it thrice because DH ignored me the first two times. The third time he snapped at me and yelled that I have no manners and that I am interrupting him again and again while he's on a call. He was on a call with his brother. I'm his wife and I was to attend that lunch too as a guest at the restaurant my husband and my in laws were hosting.

Also, when I went to the restaurant there was a menu on the table and I picked it up and said can I order this - it was something grilled. He said no it is going to take a long time and they've already ordered and the food is going to come any minute. Well it took a good 20 minutes before the food arrived and I was only wanting a plate of mince grilled kebabs that I'm sure wouldn't have taken any longer than 20 minutes, and even if it did I wouldn't have had an issue waiting. And when he said no you can't order it, my MIL started laughing and I felt super embarassed. I felt insulted. I didn't want to to eat that table after that and my husband kept forcing me to eat when I had lost my appetite and started saying loud enough for others to hear well if you want a fight we will have a fight but not here, at home.

I felt insulted and belittled. Twice in a day.

Am I overthinking this? AIBU? What would you do if you were in my shoes? How would you have reacted?

FlissMumsnet · 05/06/2025 14:24

Hi Everyone, Please do read OP's updates before replying as she gives more context in her replies. Thanks.

ImaniMumsnet · 04/06/2025 23:08

Hi everyone,

Just a quick message to encourage everyone to please read the entire thread before posting.

Thanks - sorry to hijack your thread OP.

KimMumsnet · 04/06/2025 22:08

Evening, all. Please do read OP's updates before replying as she gives more context in her replies. Thanks.

KimMumsnet · 04/06/2025 21:44

Hi there,
We're so sorry to hear you're going through this, OP.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged to us we like to link to our web-guides, which we hope may be helpful. If you'd like to, please do feel free to take a look at our Domestic Violence page. Domestic violence support | Webguide and contact details
Very best wishes from all at MNHQ Flowers

Domestic violence support webguide | Mumsnet

A guide to information and services related to domestic violence. Find reliable organisations and support services here.

https://www.mumsnet.com/webguide/domestic-violence

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