9m old, FT work, burnt out

54 replies

BrooklynBridge89 · 04/06/2025 20:01

The title says it all. I had to go back to work at 6 months, full time. Between working, pumping, breastfeeding at home, entertaining a little ball of energy, broken nights of sleep, I am soooo done. I'm so stuck.

I feel like I'm drowning. I have no motivation to do anything. I'm falling behind at work. Some days I just stare at the screen. For 8 hours. I get so little sleep at the moment (child has been relentlessly teething for the last month), I am fueled by sugar to get through the day. So I am getting fatter by the minute which doesn't help my state of mind.

I don't know what to do. I can't just go away for a weekend, I'm still breastfeeding and my milk supply is "just enough", I don't have a freezer full and it would be impossible to build up. Baby does not take formula. I have no close childfree friends to go with anyway, all my friends have kids or are pregnant. Can't be arsed going by myself anyway.

DH keeps telling me to go out. I don't want another spa day. And I certainly don't want a day with my friends who all have small babies and just talk about nappies. I have to go to a baby shower this weekend and I might jump off a bridge to avoid it. A couple of not so close childfree friends want to go out for drinks but fuck me, I don't want to go for cocktails at 9 pm when I know I might be woken up at 1am, 3am, 5am and 6am.

I don't know. Any suggestions except a spa day? Or at least some positivity? Anything to look forward to? Nothing baby related please. Dear god, nothing involving babies. I am drowning in baby.

Oh and I know everyone on mumsnet seems to work part time and 90% of the replies will tell me to drop my hours but that is not an option. My job cannot be done part time.

OP posts:

Mrsttcno1 · 04/06/2025 20:15

I’m sorry OP it can be hard, especially when you feel like you’re juggling everything. Could you not have your night out and then stay at a friends house maybe so you can get an uninterrupted sleep? Could your husband take your child out for the day so you can just have a proper lazy day, pj’s, eat rubbish, watch TV? Neither will solve all of your problems of course but it might just be the proper reset break that you need.

My daughter is 13 months old & I never found it particularly helpful to go out, even if that was to a spa, when I was tired. I just wanted to be able to lie in my own bed and eat shit and watch rubbish on TV!

Marble10 · 04/06/2025 20:14

Sounds exhausting. I know it’s a drop in the ocean and 1 night doesn’t make up for all the missing sleep but I would just book myself into a nice hotel, order some good food and just get an early night, nice bath, no wake ups.
if you can get someone to watch DC, then enjoy it with your DH. Otherwise leave baby with DH for a night.

NotDarkGothicMama · 04/06/2025 20:13

Of course YANBU. It's not physically possible to do everything you're doing and feel great.

I also fed and pumped so know it's a nightmare. Your baby is getting to the age where they're less dependent on breast milk though so there's light at the end of the tunnel.

Do you have the cash to get a sleep consultant to help you get your baby sleeping through the night? If not, you and your DH need to prioritise sleep training because you cannot continue as you are with this little sleep. If you need to co-sleep to get enough rest to be ready for sleep training then do it. Whatever you need to get through.

My ExH also used to try to be "helpful" making me go out or organise friends to come over. Hopefully your DH is better than him at understanding when you say you are so exhausted the thought of doing anything other than sleeping in your spare time is staggering.

toomuchfaff · 04/06/2025 20:09

Is DH doing any of the night feeds? Possibility? You're using the breast pump, does it have to be you doing all the night feeds? Express and DH can do a bottle feed? You get a night unbroken sleep??

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