Leisure centre manager had a pop at me… and I can’t get it out of my head!

Did any of the other Mums pause for a lunch break between the ‘five minute’ soft play sessions on the way out though? It does sound like you got quite comfortable

Is each entry to the soft play 16? That is a very expensive soft play session for a gym. I don't even pay that to the massive soft play place in the city centre!

The gym clearly need a better entry system to this area. Not just to avoid CF, but for safety. They need to know who is in there at any given time. What if a child had an accident in there and they are not technically 'meant' to be in there. For their sakes they need a proper turnstile to each entry.

I understand you feeling embarrassed about being "told off" for doing the wrong thing. And the only defence you can muster being "everyone else was doing it too" but you know that's not good enough, which is why you are going over it in your mind and focusing on being singled out and the manager being giving you a telling off.

It's done now, you didn't need to cancel the membership if you and your children enjoyed the class but it sounds as though you plan to find something more convenient.

If you're ever in a similar situation again, do try and shrug it off - accept you were in the wrong, apologise and say that you will adjust your actions in future.

I think you were singled out because you look most approachable and most likely to not argue back. Or in their head you were getting away with two fees vs just one.

I see a few options.
Keep going and don't use the soft play.
Email and ask if they can offer a reduced rate for the few minutes you use it around paying for lunch. They're better off having some money than no money.
Or don't go and do something better instead.

The lose lose situation is that you go and the other mums continue to use it for free but you don't feel you can.

Don’t overthink it. It’s no big deal, a misunderstanding. It doesn’t mean you are a bad person. It would annoy me too the manager saying she had observed it for a while, she should have pointed it out straight away if that’s the case, maybe she needs to learn to be a bit more assertive as a “manager”. Just try and forget about it and bring the kids back to the class and don’t bother with the soft play. 16 pounds is not cheap as you say, I’d be staying for at least an hour paying that amount.

OP I get from your post how embarrassed you are and I get that but you have been using the facilities for free so there was always a chance this would happen. How do you know they didn't say something to the other mum? She may have spoken to her before / after she spoke to you.

Sounds like justified shit stirring 😍

Absolutely agree. She has accepted her faults and probably moved on. Maybe all these MNrs have never ever been dishonest in their lives, seems that way from these responses!!

I think YANBU @ForestMum2020

You pay membership, plus for the gymnastics for the children. The other parents did not get told off by her, she singled you out publicly? And has been watching you?

Is be looking into who owns the leisure centre and who her boss is.

She should've taken you to one side privately, explained about the additional charge, and allowed you right of calm response. Or she could've sent a message via the gymnastics club to all parents making them aware of her extra charge.

I'd also be annoyed that the other two mums sat there and didn't stick up for you, a kind of "we all do it, not just her" input because I would've done so

She was rude and it comes across as targeted against you if everyone else has done it, and it sounds like longer than you have.
I'd be reporting the behaviour to her boss

I would have checked back in sept with reception and said ‘I’m just checking whether soft play is included in the gymnastics price? It’s not clear as I know the other mums aren’t paying for soft play’ … but then I don’t mind a bit of shit stirring 😁 also only if I was SURE the mums hadn’t paid - maybe you misunderstood each other and she actually had paid?

Even though she sounds like a right Rachel Reeves, accept that life is all about paying, paying and more paying.

Get your twins back into Gymnastics class and afterwards take them to the soft play area and pay up. Make a big show of waving the money at her and emphatically stating, 'I'm not voting for you again!'

My guess would be that you've been singled out for going every single time, for quite a long time. They tolerated parents letting their kids play for a bit on their way out.

It's still very weird to tell you off when 2 other parents were there doing the same thing.

Once
9 months ago
One mother said to the Op that she sneaks in every week without paying

and from that one exchange, the OP appears to have extrapolated they ALL do it every week

added to which, the Op says they were all “baffled” that they weren’t called out by the manager. However how the heck do you know they were all baffled OP when you left immediately and don’t have any of the other mother’s contact details to know whether or not they were “baffled”?

The Op knows none of these mothers names so I can’t believe she can be certain they they, like her, have been dodging this fee for the last 9 months!

I don't think the staff member did anything wrong. Other then not calling out the other mums who do this too.
They are probably fed up after realising so many do it .

Op you said that you felt socially isolated and have very little face to face interaction because fully remote working

you have also said that of this group of women you’ve been seeing weekly for 9 months, you do not know a single one of their names

would i be correct in thinking you are quite lonely and don't have many friends?

So the manager decided to crack down on people using soft play without paying and chose you to make an example of.
They could have handled it differently. Treating you like a naughty school kid wasn't the best option. They shouldn't have let the free soft play use go on unchallenged in the first place. It was understandable that you assumed it was OK because it wasn't challenged.
They should have put a notice up or sent an email asking people to stop using it or start paying.
Instead the manager chose to be overbearing and it's cost them a customer. Not your fault.

The other mum basically said “I dunno, no one has shouted at us yet”? That’s hardly a ringing endorsement that they knew it was free to use!

but you have no idea what the situation is, only what the OP saw.

As is the case on every single thread on here, but of course we continue to post.

Can you add soft play to the twins membership and pay a minimum for both activities? Is there a deal where gym includes ten minutes of solf play?
Inquire anew as to your best deal for what you want.

Give official feedback suggesting how positive it would be to include ten minutes of soft play with XX of gym for an extra fee - a positive idea for future deals.

Thank the gym for allowing you nine months of soft play and continue with gym and soft play as usual, paying for both.

Looking at the positive, you’ve got away with it for a while and your twins enjoyed it!

Shame you’ve been rumbled. May be most (sensible, relaxed) staff could see it was only the odd 5 mins and let it go. But now someone’s been jobsworthy or the manager saw themselves and is obliged to tow the company line. Their loss if you don’t go back, if you paid for the class.

But if your DDs enjoy the class and you want to go, then go back. Nothing to feel awkward about. You were led to believe it was tolerated, as other parents told you that and no member of staff said anything for ages. The bigger problem is you’ll have to explain to your DDs you now have to pay for the soft play, so they can’t go on it anymore.

Being totally honest, I would have done the same as you and made the assumption that the other mothers were right - especially as you hadn’t been challenged about it for so many months. If they’d said earlier on, I feel like it would have been easier to take, perhaps?

Also, every baby class I’ve attended, based in a soft play, includes access to the soft play after class - it’s not as radical an assumption to make that accessing the soft play was ok as some posters are making out. Just chalk it up to experience and check in future. In the meantime, hopefully the weather is nice on your days off and you can make the most of some outdoor activities, if you really don’t want to go back.

Sounds like you made an innocent mistake OP. If I had been told by class mums that something was OK, I don't think it would have occurred to be to go and doublecheck especially as the teacher was also aware. The manager has obviously got a bee in her bonnet about it and you stand out with twins. It would probably been more professional of her to have spoken to the gym teacher first rather than embarrassing you. I would be tempted to let the teacher know why you have cancelled, but, as you aren't going back there, I guess there isn't much point (I still would though!).

Our leisure centre has a free soft play area, but they rubber band children so only a certain number are in at any one time - the children ask for them at Reception. If it's busy there is a time limit and they hoick out anyone without a band or who have been in too long.

Singling you out was unpleasant.
Thats a lot of driving for a 40 minute class.
Have a look at ones closer to home that may suit you better.
I wouldn't give it another thought OP.

Some people are giving you short shrift here. I've been to several classes with a similar set up where entry has been allowed. How were you to know.? I'd say, try to keep going challenge yourself. If the kids enjoy our, I imagine finding good, easy activities for twins Isn't easy. So I'd go back and possibly send another apology letter to the manager asking them to please address things a little quicker next time! You can do this.