Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why is it so hard to fire someone in some organisations?

83 replies

Merryoldgoat · 04/06/2025 16:24

Now I am someone who thinks it’s important to have fair hiring practices and maintaining a professional work environment.

However my DH has been having an utter nightmare with one of his team members and HR have made him go through an unbelievable amount of rigmarole to just get to the point where they are about to offer him money to go.

The guy has been less than two years.

A few examples of what he’s done

Lied to my husband’s face about when he started work multiple times

Missed deadlines after reassuring DH he’d ’nearly finished’

Going AWOL and refusing to answer messages or calls

Inappropriate use of sick leave and annual leave

Saying he’ll attend meetings and not turning up

At least 5 occasions where he claims to have emailed or messaged DH on Teams but ‘it didn’t send’

Never on time after already agreeing a later start time than everyone else in the team.

Every time DH has tried to address firmly HR have said they need to offer more support and it’s not reached the stage where they can let go.

They are now going to probably pay him 4-6 months pay which seems mad given he’s clearly not capable of the job.

It makes zero sense to me - if you work in HR can you explain this?

For context DH works for a university - I don’t know if that makes a difference.

I’d have been able to dismiss this person months ago if they worked for me.

OP posts:
Ifpicklesweretickles · 04/06/2025 17:37

Merryoldgoat · 04/06/2025 17:08

Going AWOL, ignoring all contact for two days and the putting in retrospective request for annual leave - that kind of thing.

So? Unless he's a teacher or a nurse or a police officer or something that matters.

If it's a pointless office job flogging goods, what does it matter.

Ifpicklesweretickles · 04/06/2025 17:35

Does he get the job done? Which is all that matters. And is there enough work for him to do.

LemonGelato · 04/06/2025 17:26

Sounds like a combination of ineffective leadership at the top in creating a culture of performance, combined with overcomplex disciplinary/performance management procedures and risk averse HR (probably reflecting a generally risk averse senior management approach to people issues).

With less than 2 years service the fear will be of an ET with an alleged disability or other discrimination reason popping out of the woodwork. HRBP may also be inexperienced or risk averse relating to dismissals and possibly hasn't sought or isn't receiving good advice from their seniors. If employee is being represented by the trade union that will also increase management/HR risk averseness and so slow things down too. Even much more experienced, proactive HR people (I like to think I am one) can find it difficult to overcome a prevailing culture.

It is common in Higher Education, partly because dismissing academics is really difficult and often enshrined in very old Statues or Articles of Association especially for the older pre-1992 Institutions . This then often carries over into the disciplinary policies and procedures for professional services staff

Some posters will tout how much better the private sector is at this sort of thing but it's actually not always the case. The private sector can be just as risk averse the difference is they often throw settlement money at even simple dismissal cases. But many are just as slow to go down that path. I worked for one of the Big Four accounting firms and even dismissing at probation was quite clunky.

Your husband needs to be challenging the advice and speed of approach, and asking for more HR senior involvement if necessary. He should also make sure he has his own line manager and head of department/SLT member on board. If it is a risk averse culture he can't really fight against that as it will be a brick wall.

northernballer · 04/06/2025 17:14

We do get rid of people but always pay them off, which seems really unfair! You behave so badly you effectively get fired only with 9 months pay and a reference. Meanwhile everyone else works hard and gets a measly 3% payrise. Very demotivating.

lazyarse123 · 04/06/2025 17:11

Merryoldgoat · 04/06/2025 17:08

Going AWOL, ignoring all contact for two days and the putting in retrospective request for annual leave - that kind of thing.

We had a lot of that too. Sometimes it would be refused and they'd quite happily have it unpaid.

justasking111 · 04/06/2025 17:10

There's a teacher at primary school for three years running she's gone on the sick late autumn not returning until after Easter. It's so unfair on the children who have agency staff when she is absent. Apparently nothing can be done.

Merryoldgoat · 04/06/2025 17:09

Doingmybest12 · 04/06/2025 17:06

Hope no one recognises the scenario on real life from your husbands view point.

Edited

Fingers crossed, eh? Clearly a completely unique situation.

OP posts:
Merryoldgoat · 04/06/2025 17:08

1SillySossij · 04/06/2025 17:05

What is an inappropriate use of annual leave?

Going AWOL, ignoring all contact for two days and the putting in retrospective request for annual leave - that kind of thing.

OP posts:
lazyarse123 · 04/06/2025 17:08

I worked in a supermarket, now retired and the amount of staff we had who were useless and took absolute liberties with timekeeping, attendance even uniform and nothing was ever done about it. I witnessed one colleague shouting and swearing at another colleague in earshot of customers. I actually was pretty upset and wrote my own report of what I'd witnessed and reported it but they just had a word and carried on as if nothing had happened. The only time I've known someone be sacked was when we all refused to work with him. They had grounds but not the balls but eventually they had to. All this does is bring morale down and that's not good for anyone.

Doingmybest12 · 04/06/2025 17:06

Hope no one recognises the scenario on real life from your husbands view point.

1SillySossij · 04/06/2025 17:05

What is an inappropriate use of annual leave?

Merryoldgoat · 04/06/2025 17:01

I’ve not read the notes - he’s shown me the obscene amount he’s written.

If I didn’t put any detail I’d have had people saying ‘can’t answer without context of what they’ve done’

OP posts:
Daisydiary · 04/06/2025 17:00

Sounds exactly like a situation I’ve had. Similar kind of employer. Absolute jokers in HR. All support was for the new person who needed to be fired, not the legacy team who were victim to his bizarre behaviour. Plus we had to cover his work in the meantime! I have never known anything like it, it was like the twilight zone and took up most of my time for months, logging issues and gathering evidence. I did everything by the book, followed all proper protocols and it took the best part of a year. Thoroughly depressing. No one had the guts to, or would allow me to, fire him point blank, even in the face of irrefutable evidence of poor/dangerous performance.

Doingmybest12 · 04/06/2025 17:00

I think you should ask for this to be removed.

Doingmybest12 · 04/06/2025 16:59

What are you doing sharing all this on line. You could've easily asked this without any actual detail . Why is your husband showing you paperwork from his work?

mylurcheristhebest · 04/06/2025 16:58

Definitely a breach of confidentiality if I had showed anyone my work notes about a specific person I would be getting fired.

MelonElla · 04/06/2025 16:56

Merryoldgoat · 04/06/2025 16:47

How is in inappropriate to discuss work issues with your spouse? He’s not disclosed anything confidential about the person - just relating the facts of what had happened.

Pretty much everything you've disclosed here should be kept confidential.

Lucyccfc68 · 04/06/2025 16:55

Merryoldgoat · 04/06/2025 16:32

@Lucyccfc68

DH showed me his notes - it’s pages and pages. Shocking actually. Are universities like this then? I don’t know really.

His HR business partner sounds so wishy washy.

DH & HR have asked repeatedly about whether he has anything he needs support with and there’s nothing disclosed.

Very common in the public sector unfortunately. Very risk averse and are shit scared of the Unions and any bad publicity,

I have previously worked in the civil service and a local authority. Both were absolutely useless at getting rid of poor performers,

WeirdyBeardyMarrowBabyLady · 04/06/2025 16:53

Merryoldgoat · 04/06/2025 16:47

How is in inappropriate to discuss work issues with your spouse? He’s not disclosed anything confidential about the person - just relating the facts of what had happened.

HR matters are confidential. You’ve got a bullet point list of this person’s misdemeanours. I’m assuming you know their name. And you’ve seen notes. I accept he’s frustrated but it’s definitely a breach of confidentiality.

Merryoldgoat · 04/06/2025 16:51

BethDuttonYeHaw · 04/06/2025 16:49

In my workplace they’d have been dismissed during probation.

He didn’t display these behaviours during probation.

OP posts:
devildeepbluesea · 04/06/2025 16:49

Risk averse organisations
Lengthy processes which are required under ACAS codes and good practice
Useless line managers who don’t want to have that difficult conversation

BethDuttonYeHaw · 04/06/2025 16:49

In my workplace they’d have been dismissed during probation.

Merryoldgoat · 04/06/2025 16:47

MelonElla · 04/06/2025 16:44

Sounds like the HR department are scared of potential consequences, maybe due to a protected characteristic, or cost of legal action. Having said that, it's highly inappropriate for your DH to be discussing this with you in detail and showing you his notes.

How is in inappropriate to discuss work issues with your spouse? He’s not disclosed anything confidential about the person - just relating the facts of what had happened.

OP posts:
MelonElla · 04/06/2025 16:44

Sounds like the HR department are scared of potential consequences, maybe due to a protected characteristic, or cost of legal action. Having said that, it's highly inappropriate for your DH to be discussing this with you in detail and showing you his notes.

notatinydancer · 04/06/2025 16:39

See NHS virtually impossible to sack anyone.

Swipe left for the next trending thread