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AIBU?

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Original poster

to not throw a birthday party for my 3 year old?

33 replies

Yellowtracktor · 04/06/2025 15:33

Was just planning on a low key bbq with grandparents and cousin like we've done the last 2 years, but my dc is starting to get invited to proper 3rd birthday parties for other kids at nursery (soft play etc). I guess I'm just worried that her birthday will come around next month and she'll be upset that she isn't having a "real" party?

What would you do?

OP posts:
Thaawtsom · 04/06/2025 16:01

Don't need to throw a party for a 3-year old. I didn't for any of mine. By the time they are in school it's different. For 4 year olds we had a cake with friends in a playground affair.

PurpleThistle7 · 04/06/2025 16:00

I didn’t start until 4 and I probably could have waited another year as she just got a bit overwhelmed and then everyone cried. You can make a bit of a fuss with special ice cream sundaes or whatever and maybe one wee friend round if that works.

BarnacleBeasley · 04/06/2025 15:59

Yeah, I definitely wouldn't ask her either - I would instead be saying stuff like 'oh, Lucy's having her party at soft play. You're having a barbecue for yours with [insert names of cousins]! Shall we get balloons?

doodleschnoodle · 04/06/2025 15:57

I think 3 they still aren’t really that bothered. We are doing one for DD2 but that’s mostly because we want to get a lot of friends and kids together for a summer gathering, not because DD2 has asked for one or would feel hard done by not having one.

SummertimeFeelingFine · 04/06/2025 15:56

It'll definitely still be a real party in her mind. Personally I think 4 is the perfect age for a first party with friends.

I also wouldn't ask her.

Womblingmerrily · 04/06/2025 15:53

YANBU Birthday parties are entirely optional and quite frankly a massive pain to plan/organise and implement.

I wouldn't be asking a 3 year old for their opinion or decision either.

If a child was old enough to request a party of their own accord I would discuss the possibility with them and whether the budget for the party affected their present. For us, it was either party or present.

We did occasionally have parties/birthday treats with friends but I was always very clear on the parameters of how many people/what the budget was.

comfyshoes2022 · 04/06/2025 15:41

I think I’d ask my child if they would be upset and try to emphasise the benefits of my preferred option while doing so. ;)

BarnacleBeasley · 04/06/2025 15:36

If it's next month you've probably got away with it until she's 4! My DS was planning what he was going to have at his 3rd birthday party from about 9 months in advance.

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