This isn’t fair

Erm, you aren’t asking him to watch the kids, you are asking him to parent his own children. You are not unreasonable, he needs to step up or ship out.

Get all details of financial information and divorce the fucker.

Not sure what response you're looking for OP. You sound absolutely done with him, and though we only have your side of the story, justifiably so. But maybe an outpouring of invective from us MNetters will help with the detaching/healing process! Especially if you've only just realised you married a grade A shit.

The real challenge now is to try not to let your understandable rage, perhaps tinged with some anger towards yourself for not seeing it sooner, affect your new life with your kids, who will need a loving and rational mum. Use your cold fury to drive the divorce process.

I just don't understand this kind of thread.

'We are in the process of getting back together' '

'hate his controlling and lazy behaviour'

Is there even the slightest indication that he has stopped his controlling and lazy behaviour? No. Or that he ever will? No.

??? What on earth is going on in your head that you would even consider getting back together with him?

WHY are you getting back with him?! Genuine question, what do you get out of the "relationship"? He sounds like a prick, get rid of him permanently.

This is a leg pull isn't it?
Very funny........😁

No one in their right mind would get back with this guy, once they've escaped.

Picture this, in different situations, for the rest of your life. When it’s not the kids, it will be something else. He’s self centred and manipulative. I’d get out now and if his business is making significant money he can contribute via CMS.

Seriously, what have I just read!!? Do you really need to ask if this is acceptable? Tell him to fuck right off!

If you want to get back with him, for all the reasons you've listed, then crack on. You're certainly going into it with your eyes open, that's for sure.

@Raynaodld wow!! that is some special kind of prince you have there!!

Fucking hell. My son died as a teenager. Me and DH lived to provide a happy, family home for our children and enjoyed spending time caring for them, as well as their company. I cannot comprehend how anyone sees their children as inconveniences.

This bloke is an entitled prick. LTB.

WTAF???
Do not entertain this fuckwit any further.

Honestly OP, the disdain he’s shown for his own children alone would make me leave this man and rinse him for everything he has got. He doesn’t have any interest in his children? Fine, they have a wonderful mother who does and he can pay handsomely for them.

Are you close to his family? What do his mother and sister think of this? Surely they are disgusted?

He proposed that we work on our relationship by him never having to come home during the week so he is able to go to the gym, go out with friends or go on trips which he has already started planning for.

Hahaha, who would fall for that as a way to get back together!

What a tosser.

He has completely checked out of family life and to be honest I would be suspicious.

It’s good that he’s making money: his child support contribution should be of help.

Indeed. I just read the original post to my partner and she said "She's not just unreasonable to even consider getting back together with him, she's utterly stupid."

Sorry, I don’t want to derail anything… but amoeba and spider plant has me absolutely choking! 😅

You were right when you described him thinking you were all a burden. I can't believe he just doesn't want to spend any time with his children and just sees them as a chore that he needs to out source. What sort of parent/man is this. You're well shot. Are you financially independent OP? Xx Sending massive hugs that you're saddled with this waste of space. What a selfish idiot he is.

You need some serious boundaries putting in place when you finalise this split and don't be putting up with any of this behaviour from him. No longer will you let him boss him around. Wish him a good day when he collects the children and close the door on him. Then enjoy your days off. What a horrible vile man.

YABVU to get back together with him.

Also a lone parent, it was so beautiful as soon as I got rid of my controlling ex. Best thing I’ve ever done. Have a great relationship with my kids and they’re amazing people. Happier and more confident without their dad.

LEAVE him. For gods sake. For everyone’s sake.

I mean I know it's not funny for you but it really is the weirdest thing I'd heard in a long time. I just can't imagine any woman willingly signing up for his version of working on your marriage. You do all the work. He can stay out every night and go on trips on his own. He's up to who knows what on these trips but thinks your friends might led you astray if you went on holiday. Don't you see how insulting that is - you basically can't be trusted. In reality, it's probably because he is having it off with who knows who on these nights out.

I endorse it.

So he's wants a live inmade, cook, cleaner, but a single life.. please do not even consider this

Then I would divorce him. He can either take his share of the kids on his weekends or pay you handsomely in the divorce settlement.

What a wanker.