To be so disappointed with best friend

You seem to want it all your way.

Why will your dd be bored? Won’t the whole “close” family be there? Or maybe you’ll have to entertain her yourself?

And please, I beg you, if you’re not American, stop saying vacation.

I still don’t understand this at all!

She was meant to go on 8th together with you, and there is also a family event at that time. So presumably there are other family members going with you at that day?

She had accidentally booked 8 July when no one else will be there?

She could change to the 1st July but somehow doesn’t want to and is annoyed?

I don’t understand- can someone explain to me?

Well, that's not really your cousin's problem. Presumably you're there to play with your child, go on outings, whatever.

You just sound annoyed at having to do that, honestly. Being bored once in a while is OK anyway.

Can your daughter take a friend?

I think you should all go on separate dates and holidays tbh to make the most of the holiday home.

but as there’s been a mix up why don’t you all meet up again on a different date as well this year? Or why don’t you change your dates to the same as your cousin.

How is your cousin being "selfish" if she messed up the booking dates by accident? Those two things do not juxtapose. Either she booked those dates purposefully (in which case an argument could be made for selfishness if she didn't want to vacation with you) or she booked those dates accidentally, in which case quite literally she can't be "selfish" as she didn't know she was booking the wrong dates at the time. Unless you're trying to argue that she was being selfish by... making a mistake?

You also honestly sound more angry that YOU are going to be alone and not "surrounded" by family this vacation. You don't actually sound like you're that upset about your child not having their friends/cousins around. YOU are the one who is being selfish. Your family's vacations do not exist only to keep you company and make you feel happy and surrounded by family.

I assume the beach house is booked by other family members on the 1st? Are you there from the 1st? Could some of you double up to make room? Or someone stay in a hotel or B&B just for the nights and all be together in the days? Or could you go from the 8th? There is usually some solution to these sort of problems, with a bit of compromising.

Agree with this!

So can neither of you move your dates now at all?

This all sounds very dramatic OP. So she’s messed up the dates and will need to change her leave dates, go on the other date or not go at all. Why is any of it such a big deal? And your child should be able to entertain herself at the seaside without an issue. If you blow this up out of all proportion you will lose the friendship, but it will be as a result of your actions.

Leave it up to your cousin to find a solution that works for her.

Sorry, but I don't think it's your friend's responsibility to have a holiday with you every year of her life just to entertain your daughter.

There was a mix-up and it really isn't a big deal. Why are you being so incredibly dramatic about this?

WHY should your daughter be bored silly? She has her mother doesn't she?

Unless I missed something and you have to work for several hours every day over there?

Kids love it when they have all their parents attention and you take them to kids places.

I swear some of these threads seem to be started out of boredom - this seems like such a non-issue - unless I’m missing something!

Why cant she change her dates?
This was an accident so why are you taking it personally?
This makes no sense.

So you're disappointed you won't be able to foist your daughter off on to someone else to entertain?

Fucks sake OP, she's your daughter. You entertain her! Take her to the beach, play games, visit local tourist attractions, go out for ice cream and cake, buy souvenirs.

What do you do at home?

Why can’t you change your dates to join her?

When is this event and what is its significance? Could either of you swap dates, even just a few nights, to overlap?

If she's not able/willing to change her dates, why don't you change your dates, since you think it's so easy to do? And then your two families can have the holiday together that you want to have.

I'm guessing you aren't prepared to do that, even though it's what you're expecting her to do, and you seem more invested in/have more need for the combined family holiday.

I can't imagine that she'd be angry or refuse to go if you went together on the dates she already thought you were going together on.

If you can't holiday together this time then it's not the end of the world, just organise it better next year or do something else with her

Nobody needs to be angry with anyone

She’s a bit upset about something, that’s ok, she’s allowed to be. You are making it into a bigger issue than it is. Just leave it

The reason for your anger and disappointment is still mysterious. She made a mistake. She doesn't want to come for the dates she's actually booked in for.

Tbh, it's not exactly rare with a shared family holiday home to have mix-ups and disagreements. Some friends of mine have a shared family chalet in the Swiss Alps, and it's a perennial soap opera -- who gets it when, whether another set of family members can stay at the same time, if there are sufficient bedrooms free, the way in which it's shut up and left after a stay etc etc.

This year has been mixed up because of an error but what if in the future she just didn’t want to go at the same time as you or wanted to use her leave to go somewhere else? You sound overly invested in this annual get together, surely lives change over time and that’s not a reason to fall out with people. What if you wanted to do things differently in the future would you think it reasonable for her to be miffed at you and feel you had let her down?

I don’t understand why she can’t change her dates? Is her annual leave locked in now? Has she bought non-refundable travel tickets?

Having said that, if she has decided not to come then YABU, she is an adult capable of making her own decisions, that doesn’t make her selfish. It’s not her or her children’s job to be your entertainment.

I think it’s time to broaden your friend circle, it’s not good to put all your friendship eggs in one basket.

I’d also be wondering if there’s anything you’re doing that could be annoying her on these holidays.

How are costs and cooking and chores split? Does anyone get lumped with doing more or paying more than their fair share?