My son hates being short.

I hear you

I just notice people get so het up about height as a physical dealbreaker and not other things and I don’t get it. People having dealbreakers only impacts the person holding them and if they prefer to remain single rather than changing them that’s their owm affair. The hysteria over Tinder having height filters while being fine with them allowing photos is funny to me!

I wasn't saying otherwise, indeed to reject a life partner based on race, height, weight, class, eye colour, is all ridiculous.....at the same time....we are allowed preferences. I would've preferred a life partner with straight hair but my wife has curly hair, what you gonna do, it hasn't stopped a 25 year long marriage and it never did, just a preferences, she has many of her own preferences and the fact I don't look like Mikel Arteta is something she has to live with 😂

No it’s not, and preferences are fine.

what doesn’t land brilliantly is some kid the language used. Calling a short man a shrimp, using weedy for slim build, saying being taller is decent. There no need to belittle people

Nor can tall women choose to shrink, and plenty of men balk at dating women taller than them. It’s not just women that will be able to filter by height, after all.

Dating is not an equal opportunity endeavour.

Why is that frightening?

FWIW, OP, my partner is 5’1 — an inch shorter than me — and we just had our first baby. He’s had no trouble dating and I find him very attractive — it’s just not a ‘thing’ for us. He’s had his share of piss-taking but he’s ignored it or shut it down as appropriate, and life is grand.

Please reassure your boy (who is already taller!) that a lot of women just won’t care. My first bf was 5’4 after hormone treatment x

Being a short man sucks. but the whole "you need to be 6 foot" thing is not as common as Internet thinks when you get to adulthood. Otehr boys can be brutal as can young adult women. Maybe the "short king" movement will push this ridiculous height thing to the point where there is no need for those terms. Maybe look at some videos of short actors and interviews like Tom Holland and Daniel Radcliffe that joke about their height?

My brother grew till he was 18, so all is not lost.

My brother was around an inch taller at 14, he is 6 foot 1” now. Our Dad was just under 5’9” and our Mum 5’ 4”. I am 5 8” . Both db and I grew very late.

Totally agree, I can remember when my tiny 14 year old came home from school telling me he had a place on the school rugby squad and I asked him was he sure.

we spoke to the head of dept who confirmed that he had been chosen as he was small, agile and a fast runner and it was him who would get the ball thrown to him and he would run as fast as he could to score tries!

Women can choose to lose weight, men can’t choose to grow.

You can never guarantee what height children will attain based on the calculators you can use or the formulae.
I am 5'4", husband 5'7". Daughter is 5'7", son is nearly 6' as adults

It's sad that many boys are now getting as hung up and stressed out about appearance as many girls traditionally did/do. How can we make it better for both? There used to be so many different ways to be and look than there seem to be now?

He’s 20, and he’s having a blast at uni in lots of ways, but you obviously don't know any normal single 20 year olds if you think they aren’t looking for a hook-up on nights out. However I don’t share your need to hijack this thread by someone disagreeing with my SILs opinion of her own son, so let’s end this discussion. Though if you’re the type of person I think you are, you won’t be able to not carry on trying to prove you’re frighteningly correct. So crack on and ill ignore you from here on…

Girlfriend / liaisons not having that by 20 is frighteningly normal.
Although maybe if he was not simply looking for “liaisons” he would be having more joy?

I met my friend Brian when we were 11. He was a small lad and told a tale that he’d been blown over by the wind.

He had his growing spurt a little later than the rest of us - but he did have one.

55 years later you’d never guess what a shrimp he was back then. Not the tallest of chaps but quite a normal height.

Don’t worry unduly about this, don’t make an issue about it.

Yep there is a very tall girl in my DS’s class, around 6ft at 12 years old and she gets bullied terribly. I know from her Mum she hates her height and her only wish is to be shorter.

Taylor Swift, at 5’10 also talks about feeling awkward at her height for years.

So boys must be tall and broad and girls must be tiny and dainty although let’s be honest bullies will still find something to pick on anyway, DH was tall but bullied for being clever for instance.

All in all people are just dicks.

Partner perhaps but he’s not looking for a partner just a girlfriend/few liaisons - most adults have had that before 20. I’m not sure I know anyone that hasn’t.
she doesn’t think it’s because he is short but because being short makes him lack confidence and shy away from girls.

My son is 20 and 5,5. He’s still a fabulous young man and luckily not judged badly because he’s not 6ft tall.

It’s not just me - 20 to have a first partner is frighteningly normal.
Also how can your SIL possibly know why he is single. Plenty of men your nephew’s height are happily partnered.

Yes

It’s what I said at the start - people are curiously hostile to women’s dating preferences/
dealbreakers in a way they aren’t for men.

My experience is most men do not want a taller girlfriend and I have had more than a few openly state that my height is “offputting!” 😄

It really depends on the child, my son would rather opt out then be ridiculed x

Neither of my sons were interested in having gf’s at that age (much to my relief). My younger son used to think all the drama surrounding the kids relationships at school was stupid. Both are in steady relationships but I was grateful they left it till later.

Rob Burrows was 5’5” and a hugely successful rugby player. I don’t know much about rugby but if you’re shorter and fast on your feet there’s definitely a place for you.

Possibly a lot of his mates paired up at school and he’s left out.