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Original poster

Relationship over, ex keeping ‘joint savings’

111 replies

FieldRunner · 03/06/2025 22:08

First of all, I know I’ve been really stupid here. Ex and I have broken up, we had been together for nearly 4 years and been saving for a house for about half of this time. Ex works in finance and persuaded me that we’d be better pooling our savings as would receive higher interest. I transferred a set amount to him each month to put into an account which he said would be a fixed interest rate. Basically it transpires that a few months in he changed this to be invested in to a Stocks ISA. He says it isn’t simple to give this back to me as the money is tied up and value is volatile as it’s the markets (I don’t really understand this).

Does anyone know if it’s hard to get this money out of a Stocks ISA? I don’t know what to do next, he is ignoring my messages now. I’ve transferred over £15,000.

OP posts:
Hulabalu · 03/06/2025 22:40

cestlavielife · 03/06/2025 22:37

No way to transfer isa unless you are married eg https://www.geraldedelman.com/insights/have-you-considered-using-your-partners-isa-allowance/

He could cash in the isa and then give you cash
Might be less than you put in if in stocks
But he is sitting happily on his money in hisname his tax free savings
Likely 15k gone unless you get a lawyer and prove intent or coercion etc

No no, not transferring the ISA allowance , just creating new ISA in OP name using her allowance .

cestlavielife · 03/06/2025 22:39

ISA s are never joint. He knew what he was doing taking your money

Hulabalu · 03/06/2025 22:39

cestlavielife · 03/06/2025 22:31

ISA are individual
Key is in the name
ISA (IndividualSavings Account)
You gave him the money
You were very foolish naive
If you can prove coercion you might have a case but it might cost you 15k in lawyer fees

You will not see this money again

Do not ever give someone money to keep in their account

I don’t think it’s coercion.
It’s easy to say OP too trusting etc , but many couples trust each other like this. He hasn’t put it in a pyramid scheme , the guy had just tried to do something seen as a sensible way of saving and investing, but stock market has risks .
Good luck OP, don’t panic, it may turn out for the best , just be practical about it

cestlavielife · 03/06/2025 22:37

No way to transfer isa unless you are married eg https://www.geraldedelman.com/insights/have-you-considered-using-your-partners-isa-allowance/

He could cash in the isa and then give you cash
Might be less than you put in if in stocks
But he is sitting happily on his money in hisname his tax free savings
Likely 15k gone unless you get a lawyer and prove intent or coercion etc

Have you considered using your partner’s ISA allowance? | Gerald Edelman

If you’re married or in a civil partnership you may be able to benefit from using your partner’s ISA allowance. Read more here.

https://www.geraldedelman.com/insights/have-you-considered-using-your-partners-isa-allowance/

Hulabalu · 03/06/2025 22:34

I guess from legal stand point he could say you agreed together to invest in stocks shares isa…
. your word against his…
best you can do i think is discuss options with his provider
find out what it’s invested in too
see if better options for you .
. He obviously thought he was doing the right think to boost your joint savings in tax efficient way . ISAs are thought to be sensible investment.
He is your ex but see if you can try to work with him on this
He will have lost money too …

cestlavielife · 03/06/2025 22:31

ISA are individual
Key is in the name
ISA (IndividualSavings Account)
You gave him the money
You were very foolish naive
If you can prove coercion you might have a case but it might cost you 15k in lawyer fees

You will not see this money again

Do not ever give someone money to keep in their account

Hulabalu · 03/06/2025 22:25

Am not a financial advisor or anything so just some amateur suggestions here - if you haven’t used your ISA this year, Ask him to speak to his isa provider about an in specie transfer to another isa for you . Could be with same provider. See what the terms are / any costs associated.
If you know who provider is they can tell you about options for you
it’s possible the money you transferred to him has gone down in value unfortunately… I think that is what he means by volatile … he’s invested it and lost money it sounds .
the value could come back up though over time.
i think you both need to have call with his provider ?

LittleMousewithcloggson · 03/06/2025 22:25

Is the account just in his name?
Might be very hard to get back if it is.

Enrichetta · 03/06/2025 22:20

He could sell the shares tomorrow.

if he wanted.

but he doesn’t.

I fear you’ll never see this money again.

HalfMumHalfBiccit · 03/06/2025 22:19

Even if it is difficult to get the money out. That is your money. You can prove that. I’d get some legal advice.

roseymoira · 03/06/2025 22:17

No idea- I’d repost this on the money matters board, you’d get excellent advice on there from people who know