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Wondering if my Mother is exatturating cancer scare

39 replies

Lavenderfarmcottage · 03/06/2025 16:26

Please skip to final paragraph *** for the short version of this !! Apologies if the sensitive medical issue and unusualness of this post offends or upsets anyone.

A bit of an unusual thread. Wondering if this time my Mum’s cancer scare is genuine.

My Mum is turning 64 and has a history of exatturating and lying. This is mainly done be being vague and getting angry when asked about anything she feels uncomfortable about.
In the past she has lied about cancer while going for routine tests or checks and told us she has cancer when they’re in the very early stages of tests for general issues which turn out to be all fine.

I’ve only noticed the extent of her lying as time has gone on. I think sometimes she twists stories and genuinely doesn’t realise she’s being obtuse, vague or reframing and twisting the story - leaving out crucial pieces of information.


**
*
My Mother has said that her GP found a breast lump. She said that the lump was examined by the GP who said it was 8cm and there was signs of dimpling, orange peeling, veins and it is in the arm pit breast area. She said this had been “fast tracked” for a mammogram and aspiration this week. She is now saying it’s actually next week (so 2 weeks after appointment).

Basically, my question is, does this sound genuine given her history of exatturating and lying even about cancer scares ?

OP posts:
Meadowfinch · 03/06/2025 16:56

When I was being treated for my (quite small) breast cancer, and was worrying about whether I would spot any recurrence, the radiologist said she had women arriving with 4" or 10cm tumours, so it is possible.

BashfulClam · 03/06/2025 16:53

I saw my gp as I had a lump. Was seen 9 days later at hospital, had manual examination, mammogram and ultrasound before being told it was a hormonal cyst (it disappeared once my period started). So parts of it seem like what would expect but the size is extreme and the gp only felt not said ‘yep I feel something, I’ll refer you straight away.’ Gave no other details such as visual appear.

Thiswontbepopular · 03/06/2025 16:52

Out of curiosity I just looked at my old hospital letters and my tumour was 6cms, so 8cm is not beyond the realms of possibility, but I am large of nork!

jljlj · 03/06/2025 16:48

8cm seems exceptionally large. That's larger than a tennis ball.

My mum had a 2.5cm lump that was removed via mastectomy, but had already reached a lymph node and then metastised into her bones.

That's the problem with liars though - they lie so much and then they aren't believed.

Breast cancer is extremely common in women in their 60s. She may very well have it. I would be surprised if the lump was 8cm though.

Meadowfinch · 03/06/2025 16:47

OP, 8cm is huge.

If she's been given an appt on the 2 week pathway, wait for the results. Although even if it turns out to be benign, your dm has every right to be scared.

Lavenderfarmcottage · 03/06/2025 16:47

* I’m on here because I can’t simply trust information she gives me. I am wanting to know how genuine this is.

OP posts:
Lavenderfarmcottage · 03/06/2025 16:45

saltinesandcoffeecups · 03/06/2025 16:30

Does it matter if she is exaggerating?

If she has a test in a week or two you’ll know soon enough, right?

Even if the test comes back negative it wouldn’t mean she was lying.

I guess I’m trying to figure out why you are asking.

Because she has a history of lying about things and because 8cm seems very large and also I didn’t realise it could be measured without tests.

Yes it does matter if she is exatturating information and leaving me worried for 2 weeks especially when it’s not even a year since my sister died.

OP posts:
ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 03/06/2025 16:43

I can’t comment on your mum’s symptoms or what the doctor said but, yes, she is correct about the speed of the appointment. They aim to see you within two weeks and IME appointments in respect of possible breast cancer are very speedy.

Amba1998 · 03/06/2025 16:40

2 weeks is the standard pathway for beast symptom referrals.

Thiswontbepopular · 03/06/2025 16:38

Around my way you get seen within 2 weeks with any breast lump and it’s a one stop shop with a physical examination, mammogram, ultrasound and if indicated a needle biopsy all on the same day. My diagnosis was confirmed that day, with biopsy results later informing the type of treatment I’d need and follow up scans to check for spread.
From memory my lump was about 6 cms and cancerous.
All well now, following surgery and radiotherapy.

Edited to add, saw my GP on the Monday and was booked in at the clinic for Wednesday

Courgettezuchinni · 03/06/2025 16:35

A 2wk turnaround is usual if the docs need to run tests to find out what's going on with her breast. Are you going with her to the appointments? No-one on here can tell you what any scan or biopsy result may show. She'll need to wait for her test results.

JLou08 · 03/06/2025 16:35

Sounds genuine to me. I had a lump in my breast, GP examined and I was fast tracked to the breast clinic, told it would be within 2 weeks but I was seen in a few days. I was given the all clear on the same day I was at the breast clinic.

Hadalifeonce · 03/06/2025 16:31

8cm is huge, my friend had treatment for a 'lump' is was 0.9 mm.
Look at a ruler or tape measure to get the idea of an 8cm lump in a breast

saltinesandcoffeecups · 03/06/2025 16:30

Does it matter if she is exaggerating?

If she has a test in a week or two you’ll know soon enough, right?

Even if the test comes back negative it wouldn’t mean she was lying.

I guess I’m trying to figure out why you are asking.

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