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Original poster

Child’s Friend Calling DH A Racist Name

207 replies

kurotora · 03/06/2025 16:05

I’m a bit flabbergasted at this!

DD5 (Reception) occasionally brings home a friend to play, friend’s mum doesn’t come with. DH picks them up, he also does almost every pick up and drop off so he’s the one the other kids see most.

Today the friend came back to the house and three times called DH by a racist name - “karate chops” - he’s British Vietnamese. We both looked at each other in shock. The third time I told her that she must not call him that -he’s DD’s Dad. I asked her why she called him that name but she just laughed.

AIBU to be really annoyed about this? I don’t think the child got it from her mum, who is a single parent and not British herself, she doesn’t seem like the type and she’s been very nice to us.

DD is suffering a lot of bullying in school and this has incensed me as I feel like it may be coming from another child in class.

OP posts:
PhilippaGeorgiou · 03/06/2025 16:51

I don't want to minimise your DD's experience of other bullying that is going on, but I have never heard that term used in any style of racism. I think I would suggest speaking to mum first. It could be something entirely inoffensive and possibly misheard. But she is the one most likley to be able to get to the bottom of what is being said and why. Then if there is an issue with the school both of you can address it with the school - she's hardly going to be happy her own child is picking up racist or bad behaviour from others. Alternatively, if there is a stupid kiddy explanation that makes utterly no sense to an adult then it can be dealt with low key by mum.

Whyherewego · 03/06/2025 16:45

I'd not put in a book. I'd be asking for a meeting to discuss the bullying and this is a further evidence of rascist language and poor behaviour in the school

Original poster
kurotora · 03/06/2025 16:37

Nopenott0day · 03/06/2025 16:10

Does he look a bit like a video game/ cartoon character that does karate?

I mean the kids only 5 so probably doesn't realise the connotations

I really am not sure that in 2025, there’s an East Asian character called “Karate Chops”

And just to be clear, I am not angry at or blaming the child. She must have heard this from somewhere, I’m concerned this is being put round by my DD’s bullies.

So as not to drip feed, we have heard a racist comment to DH from a dad of one of the bullies back when DD was in nursery. Then an incident where she was really upset that one of them told her “your dad’s not your real dad” (I am Scottish, DD is fairly white passing).

We are having to raise so many issues with school regarding this bullying but they’re absolutely rubbish. I feel I maybe should put this in the home school communication book though?

OP posts:
mumofoneAlonebutokay · 03/06/2025 16:16

Yeah go straight to the mum, op, racism needs to be nipped in the bud and quickly

The child probably doesn't know its racist, ofc, but go and tell her and ask her to make it stop. She'll be mortified.

Also, if dd is being bullied, I wonder if this name is going around the kids?

I agree that after you speak to the mum and explain, and she sorts it, id explain that I'm talking to the school as you think its coming from some of the other kids in class

How sad that in 2025, anti Asian racism is still thought of as a joke. Fucking disgusting.

Yanbu xx

S0j0urn4r · 03/06/2025 16:12

I would mention it to the mum and the school.

Whyherewego · 03/06/2025 16:12

I'd be telling off the child along the lines of it's rude to call people names so stop immediately or I will call your mother and ask her to take you home and the play date is over

Nopenott0day · 03/06/2025 16:10

Does he look a bit like a video game/ cartoon character that does karate?

I mean the kids only 5 so probably doesn't realise the connotations