Fecking sports day

Can you talk to the form tutor and ask if she could help instead of at least one event? We had to do 3 events at our secondary sports day so I would be in charge of putting the pole on the high jumper it got knocked off (2 house points), long jump (because it was at the other end of the field so hardly anyone was watching, 1 house point) and discus because hardly anyone did it so I would get 2 house points for participation and 2 for coming 7th out of 7.

I never 'got' school sports days. It was all about athletics &, even when I was in primary school, I felt it excluded those children who weren't sporty.

For context: I was a gifted gymnast - I competed for the County & was never happier than when I was handspringing, cartwheeling or hanging off a bar upside down. I was also good at the long jump & always won sprints. Regretfully I developed a problem with my knees when I was about 13/14 years old when they would dislocate - this ended (what was promising to be) a very successful career.

My best friend throughout primary & secondary school was not at all sporty. She was very clever, had a talent for music, but she hated PE. Sports day for my friend was a trial and I felt for her & other people like her. I remember that I would stay with her when we were doing cross country runs - to the extent that I got a detention because our PE teacher felt that I could/should have done better & left her to finish the run on her own.

Sports day was torture for my friend. I refused to compete because I felt that if she was excluded I couldn't compete either - another detention in secondary school.

I'd like to think that things have changed since the 1970's, but I doubt it.

I’ve not read the whole thread yet….. but could not agree with this more 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

I never understood the angst about sports day.... because at our school, if you wanted to take part you first took part in some trials (if there were too many children) and then on the day, the sporty ones did their thing and the less sporty ones were spectators, cheerleaders, drinks organisers etc. I assume it was considered an appropriate learning experience at a more cultural level - some sport, community spirit etc. We all loved it. Even the kids who hated this kind of thing did because they would just slope off to a corner and gossip and chat and ignore all the rest.

Then I discovered that in the UK lots of sports days require evry child to compete and the whole thing is just too awful for words. Thank god my DC's school makes all children attend, but competing is optional.

Never was that great at athletics but over time learnt that it was nice to be able to give some of the kids that were less academic and more sporty a chance to shine. The world isn't always about doing what you want to do all the time.

Slightly annoying though that there were some irritants that were great at everything.

Haha I actually had not seen the other comment above regarding shot put and javelin. Evidently this was a common strategy!

I had sports day all the way to secondary up to GSCE. I was deeply unsporty and a bit fat. Honestly, it was a day of mostly sitting around chatting to friends while not paying any attention to the races etc. I used to volunteer for shotput and javelin which were undertaken mostly by fellow skivers at the far end of the sports field.

More seriously, I think that it's fine to be bad at something? I think that it's good to listen to your daughter's worries but I wouldn't let her know your outrage - this does sound a bit like you agree that it is inherently traumatic to be exposed as not being good at sport, when in fact I don't think that is right. It's fine to be bad at sport/be slow in a race etc. I think that this is a moment she can learn resilience and not to catastophise.

Secondary school sports days tend to be a bit of a low key muddle with nobody taking much notice of anyone unless they are one of the top few sports people in the school. I would encourage your daughter not to overthink it.

Fellow mum of non sporty dc here. Secondary is quite different to primary. At my dc school they sign up if they want but don’t have to and get to sit on the bleachers at the athletics track with face paints and cheering on their team. They actually quite enjoy it.

Pull her out of school for the day and don't give it another thought. Blame it on a bad period. Honestly, no-one will care. Take her for a walk on a beach.

My happy, enthusiastic ds was made utterly miserable by primary school sports day. I tried to encourage him. Did all I was supposed to.

After the year 6 day, in the car home, he very calmly and quietly told me that if he ever had to do that again, he would kill himself. 😳

It has taken six years of a brilliant set of sports teachers at his lovely senior school to rebuild his confidence.

Don't put your DD through it. Spare her.

Agree it’s shit.

My oldest daughter is only in year 2 but has been mentioning sports day anxiety since Christmas! She felt publicly humiliated and spent the day in tears :(

Watching with interest because I want to know how to handle this going forward, from those with older kids.
I’m not a fan of letting her skip things she hates and I want to be open and honest with her school, but I’m not convinced taking part is actually going to do her any good. Still have my own unpleasant memories of it decades later.

I suppose it wouldn’t work to ask if some kids could hand out water or keep score instead… too many would probably want to do those jobs instead of taking part.

At least your DD'S sports day is at her school.

We have to traipse to another school 5 miles away which has a proper running track, but is the other side of a large town, with a car park designed by Satan himself which is not capable of suddenly taking on an additional entire 9 form entry secondary school at rush hour.

To do this, we all drive past the perfectly acceptable (and newer) council running track 0.5 miles away from our school. With a massive car park with traffic lights on exit!

All for 1 event per child.

We had the choice of things like javelin and shot put, which were usually done in a corner of the field, away from people, and were not so competitive and obvious. I always encourage my (sports day hating) children to enthusiastically sign up for this if it's compulsory, as there is far less pressure. I dreaded sports day and this is what my friends and I would do. We were so 'enthusiastic' to do shot put (ie get in there first so we didn't have to run or be visible) that teachers often remarked how positively we were signing up 😂

It shouldn't be compulsory. The sporty kids should be allowed their moment of course but no one needs to be humiliated or feel so bad about it in the process.

I hated Sports Day, and I was a teacher! Fortunately I was responsible for exam concessions and there were always A levels on that day, so I had to be in exam rooms.
My school eventually adopted heats in lessons so only the finalists ran the races on Sports Day. Everyone got to go home early at the end.

At DDs school the sporty ones sign up for their preferred events and then the social minded ones fill in gaps. DD does discus. Most if the afternoon is just sitting around chatting.

I wish schools would move on from this. It's such an old fashioned way of thinking.

Imagine if every child has to take part in a public maths or spelling tests. There would be an outcry!

Neither of my kids do well at sports day. They both hate running. One of them planned and completed a 15 mile hike the other weekend. The other one dances, cycles, hikes, and skates. They are both fit. They're just not athletic.

Schools need to move on and recognize that there's more to sport than being good at athletics!

I have a teen who is on the national development squad for a tough endurance sport. He also hates school sports day! Was delighted to be away on a training camp and miss it this year. There is a lot of pressure on the sporty kids to do well at sports day. Most of them seem to hate it too, I only know one kid who is excited about it!

My secondary school had a mandatory xc race and some sporty kids sprinted around but the rest of us just walked it. My kids school have athletics competitions and it is opt in which seems a fairer way to do it. There are lots of house points on offer so some less competitive kids do get cajoled into it but they can still say a big fat ‘no’ if they like.

Oh no, such a shame she doesn’t feel well on the day!

My DD hates sports day, she cannot run, is uncoordinated and slow. All they do is running races. She does other activities for exercise but just cant run fast at all.

She is in year 7 also and did all the sports days in primary school. Coming last in the running races.

I have said she can stay off as she is getting stressed about it. I dont know why they force them in High School as not all kids are sporty.