Fecking sports day

Really?! That’s interesting, it would never happen at our school! Children get to choose whether or not they want a lead role and those who don’t are just in the ensemble, it’s always been that way.

YANBU. I never did a sports day. I was always 'ill' with a letter from my mum.

Sometimes my mum didnt always write the letter....

They may not force every child to participate, or if so pick an event some of which are less serious. Ours rarely did more than sub or cheer others on.

every child in the class being forced to audition for the lead in the school musical in front of all the other children.

literally what happens in Y6 in Primary school, not auditioning for the lead, but auditioning full stop. It's not optional?

A lot of students love it to be fair! (Secondary teacher)

why is it not true?

I hate that negative attitude that someone must be "bad at sport". As if you've tried all physical activities in the world. It's pretty depressing if you can't find one thing you like, even if you are never going to win a gold olympic medal.

Being active is the bare minimum for being healthy? Parents encouraging their children in believing they are "not sporty" are so damaging.

And her school doesn't have any of the competitions you describe in academic/ arts subjects
I believe you, but our local schools here are non-stop , it's all over their social media! I am South East London. It's quite nice, gives all the kids a chance to have their photo shown if they care, more than if it was once a year for one Maths or Debate competition.

I couldn’t agree more OP! In fact I was saying this to my DH just the other day.

To me, sports day is the equivalent of every child in the class being forced to audition for the lead in the school musical in front of all the other children. And just for good measure, inviting the parents to watch as well. It would obviously never happen, so why some schools seem to think it’s ok to do this for sports is beyond me!

DD1’s school is very good at sports - it’s their “thing” and they put a lot of emphasis on competitive sports. Personally I think it’s counterproductive as it just makes the less sporty kids feel shit and like sport isn’t for them. I’ve had enough of it this year and unfortunately she’s going to be unwell on sports day…

If your DD refuses to skip it though you’re in a tough situation. I guess all you can do is write to the school and ask them to think about how they can make these events more inclusive, emphasising that sport is for everyone and is not always about turning it into a competition to decide who is “best”. They may not listen but you’ll probably feel better for saying how you feel - you might also find that the headteacher/governors are a bit more receptive than the PE teachers?

Why would they not do sports day at secondary? If you’re worried, contact the school and find out how they do it. Most schools try to be inclusive these days.

I wouldn't have minded stuff like shot putting, javelin, long jump etc because it's one at a time and once you're done you don't have to think about it.

But nooo, in my secondary school it was running, running and more running. Short legs here did not do well at running, and was always humiliatingly clapped into last place. One year I still had half the track to run, so of course everyone was then looking at me, pity cheering me on while I felt like I wanted the ground to swallow me up!

Also had PE teachers who couldn't care less about you if you weren't sporty, and one who actively hated you if you weren't in her favourites.

Now, I've just come off the treadmill after a 5k, I work out for me, not against other people. Although the dreaded sports day and mums race is soon, and I'm still a short legs compared to all the leggy gazelle like mums! 😂

I hated sports day as i hated athletics. At my secondary school we all had to do one event and we spent most of the day spectating. I would rather have spent the time in the back garden. I loved swimming. Yet my high school didn't do swimming.

What kind of sports day is it? Our secondary school have an all school day event. And you can either put into an event (usually PE teachers already know the runners etc) No one is forced, you cheer your house on. Wear house colours it’s much more of a fun day.
The most my eldest did was the run and jump into the sandpit one! My other is a runner so will do the sprint race. But no one is forced to take part in an activity but part of the celebrations.

My kids high school is super chilled about sports day. They have to pick a minimum of two things. Then they kind of have stations where kids rotate around so no one is watching as such. As there's usually a bbq and ice cream truck afterwards

No one is making kids do maths or art or science competitively and in public.

My kids secondary schools have forms based on kids academic levels, they organise or join Maths/ English/ Arts competitions, have regular award sessions for top grades, publish photos and rewards weekly of top scorers in their field...

So no, you don't see the kids sitting down at a table solving their Maths problems, but it's pretty public who is in the top league and who is failing miserably.

It's only competitive for the kids who care.

If your kids are not good in racing or similar sports, just encourage them to join another kind of sports -there are enough discipline for everybody to find something to shine in. If you are a top swimmer or shine in archery (or anything) you don't care if you come last in a school race.

I'm not making my daughter (Y4) go to sports day this year. It's sports day followed by prizegiving and last year for some reason it really eroded her confidence, even though she knows not everyone can win and all that good stuff. She doesn't need that kind of knock again so we're off for a day out.

Oh I get this op.
My middle one is awaiting assessment for autism and adhd. He is already so nervous and anxious for sports day. He doesn't want to stay home He wants to be like everyone else and do it. He also feels the teachers expect it of him. He also wants to be amazing at everything have everyone cheer him on and be really supportive of him. In reality it just doesnt work like that. Its a busy overstimulating day but he has an idea in his head of exactly how he wants it to go.
I would happily keep him home if he wanted that.

So all I can do is support him and gently try to help him make some wiggle room in his rigid expectations of it. It's really hard op i do kind of wish they would just stop it all together but I get for other kids it's different. Mine is still in primary so I'm keeping fingers crossed in his secondary it will be very very different.

If she won’t skive off for the day like I did back in the day, maybe you could let her go in as usual but at about 9.30am ring the school about a family emergency that means you’re going to have to come pick her up Ferris Bueller style.

How would she feel about a dental appointment? Not lying she's ill. Just a well timed annual appointment.

My son's secondary still has sports' day. Everyone has to go along to support the other pupils in their house. Entering events is voluntary, but their team gets points for everyone who enters at least one event and every event entered gets extra points. It seemed like a good system. He's not at all sporty, but still felt able to contribute to the team by going in for the less popular events, and got a lot of support from classmates for being willing to have a go.

I let mine have the day off every year! They hate it and don't want to do it! I see no point in making them go. They have good attendance rates and are rarely off school.

I guess I feel that the answer to making girls feel good about themselves is not allowing them to withdraw themselves from sports events (even if public). Girls' participation in sport is lower than boys anyway. The idea that sports day is only for people who are 'good' at sport is also problematic. I feel the school should be able to put together a sports day in a positive way and combat any bullying relating to it (which is obviously horrendous) although whether they actually do so is a different question.

My DD's sports day is at a running track a 50 minute walk away from school with the expectation that the students will get themselves there and back. They also don't the choice in which event they take part in.

When I was secondary it was at school and optional which is how it should be.

It's a fun day off timetable. Compete or cheer. No drama needed.