Fecking sports day

From the other side of the coin…. I was that unicorn at school that aced everything and drama/gymnastics/athletics was my mega shine opportunity.

Sadly I had two parents who were so engrossed in their marriage breakup and affairs that neither of them ever came to watch me win the sprint or play the lead in the school play.

I hope it helps that a tiny handful of the best athletes gave it loads of spirit but still didn’t get the thrill of shining in front of an audience who didn’t truly care if they came first or last. I desperately wanted to get that cuddle for trying regardless. There’s no such thing as a perfect life

This thread has just made me gulp at the memory so bless all you mums that care enough to care about the pressure this event throws out at your children

Sporty kids can shine without forcing non sporty kids to do it though. That way everyone is happy.

I would check how the school organise Sports Day, as all schools do it differently and they often don’t have time for everyone to take part in the main bit that everyone watches. She definitely won’t be the only one dreading it, so I’d have a quiet word possibly with her tutor to find out how it works so she’s prepared. None of the schools I’ve worked in have had mandatory participation in the main bit that everyone watches, it’s always been on an opt in basis. (Thankfully I was pregnant the year someone thought the staff relay would be a good idea!)

DD’s is fantastic, everyone does a sport to start and you opt for what you want to do and they put on a range of things from cricket, frisbee, rounders, table tennis etc. but no one watches, it’s like a normal but relaxed PE lesson as all the teachers come and help the PE department. It’s then followed by an art session where they make banners and decorations in their houses and then in the afternoon, they parade out onto the field with their banners for the afternoon to do the track races and that’s all opt in so no one is forced to take part if they don’t want to. (DD says the working out who does what is taken seriously so they strategically place the best runners!) There’s usually a couple of very perky PE teachers on the tannoy leading the whole school in various dances e.g. The Maracena etc. no parents watch, but you can hear it from our house! It sounds fabulous!

No wonder we have an obesity crisis as so many kids are put off physical activity for life by PE teachers and sports day performative humiliation.
Schools need to completely rethink how PE is taught.

A storm in a tea cup.

Your dd's friends won't care haw badly your dd is doing other than wanting to reassure her and be kind surely. Otherwise they're not her friends.

Secondary sports days tend to be less awful than primary. Often the chucking medieval weapons at your feet and nose-diving "events" tend to be done as part of the standard humiliation package of PE lessons as there's not enough capacity for the full-scale public ritual. Likewise with 1000+ y7s-y10s to take their turn, there is usually only one or two chances to display ineptitude on the track as you can't fit everyone in for every event.

Also being teenagers (or teenagers-in-training) most are more interested in gossiping outside of lessons than actually watching half a day of demonstrations of how not to run.

I specialised in being left to do the 1500m because no one else wanted to embarass themself for so long; I'd do a nice wheezy solo final lap and staggering into the finish line to tannoy calls for the first aider. Frankly that was better than being presented with a skipping rope that I couldn't use at age 7 and being left to learn to skip in front of the whole school plus parents.

Relays are a weird team sport... normally you do team sports with your team mates, but no you get bollocked for running with your team mates.
Make your bloody minds up PE staff

(I have discovered in adulthood under the caring tutelage of my mobile phone that the reason that school running is so awful is because it takes 4km to warm up and muscles to remember that they can actually run, oh and running is better when not in a dull oval and a choice of scenery is avaliable)

I was at a large school and my school sports day were held at the local athletics track. We all had to go to watch rain or shine. If you were good at athletics or field then beforehand you could do a race or throw javelin. But most people sat in their allocated row with their classmates and just talked all day with their friends. A much better way to do it than others descriptions I feel.

My school bullies tried to get me to take part to make up the numbers after bullying and taking the piss out of me for years for being crap at it. I told them to shove it

Sports days should not just be about those taking part in the events. Every sport needs someone such as an umpire, scorer, starter or some other important role that enables the activity to take place. An opportunity for the less sporting children.

So I don't think parents should be withdrawing children and keeping them at home, they should be advocating taking part in other ways.

I think sports days it should be encouraged, but if some kids really don’t want to or are completely out of their depth they shouldn’t be forced to participate.

BUT I think sports days should happen, and be properly competitive, none of this everyone’s a winner tosh. All kids have their thing, no one (usually) is good at everything, so the kids who are good at sport should get their day, just like the kids who are good at art, or maths, or English.

DCs sports days were always class v class, so there was great team spirit, my only complaint was that they insisted everyone did the long distance race, which sadly was beyond some, however the winners of the race did to their credit carry on running with the poor soul in last place until he finished.

It’s worse in secondary as it’s really competitive. The class feels let down if you lose, especially the ones who are really good at sports.

Every year this subject comes up. Both my kids hated sports day so I let them stay at home. They weren't the only ones. School was relaxed about it.

The worst sports days were when it was baking hot and kids had to sit or run about outside for hours with no shade and everybody ending up feeling unwell.
Sod that for a lark.

Why is it ok to do this for sport but not other subjects?

They do, they are called tests and exams.

I have 2 ND children and have every sympathy, and focusing on what could be better for your child is absolutely fine. Saying that it's the only thing that kids struggle with that's similar, not fine.

What would make it better - advertising some events as "no audience watching" for example? Feed it back to the school, see what they can do.

Where was the public spelling bee so others could also shine.......in public

Then let the sporty ones shine, while letting the others sit out if they want to. Other children are not obligated to humiliate themselves in order to make athletes look better by comparison.

That sounds very different to making them all sing a solo then ranking them from best to worst.

‘being active’ and ‘being sporty’ are totally different things. I am singularly unathletic, useless at competitive team games, and hated school sports day. I love yoga, powerlifting and hiking, but you don’t get to do much of those on a school sports day. I’d argue that if anything, sports day puts kids off being active because it gives the sense that only team sports or track and field events ‘count’.

I feel a massive period cramp coming on....

It's the compulsory, public, competitive aspect of sports day (at her school) that I think is bullshit

gives a chance for the more sporty ones in there to shine, can't see the issue.
Not everybody can be academic, and most of the year is about compulsory competitive academic events already.

In fairness, it is true that it's usually the same kids who shine in both but everybody does have a chance.

My son didn’t attend one sports day in the whole of secondary school. Missed it because of Covid for two years and then was “sick” the other years. He hates it and had a good attendance otherwise so I let him stay off.

they come home with homework "prepare one of the singing part" to present to the class on the stage, the same way they have to do a poster or whatever other homework.

I thought it was quite nice for everyone to do something, so no one can be teased for doing the audition.

The roles later were more on a voluntary basis -asking kids what their preference would be, but the audition definitively wasn't.

My dd’s school has a full day event with a DJ and an ice cream truck. Everyone is expected to sign up for 2 activities and they offer an equal number of running and field events. There is a house system and you can earn points by attending the add on activities - Zumba, dance class, yoga, mindfulness sessions indoors, wrestling. No one really cares if you miss your booked event and generally it’s a day to chill with your friends (pop up tents allowed) and eat ice cream while cheering for the sporty kids.

I’m completely with you OP and fully understand the point you’re making! Not sure why a couple of posters don’t seem to get it.

The worst thing for me is that the forced (public) competitive element actually undermines the “being active is for everyone” message. It completely puts my DD off PE and sports because she associates it with coming last and feeling crap about herself, so she’s less likely to want to do it.

I can't believe they're still doing this. When I was at school in the 70's enforced sport stopped at year 9. You still had to do something and had to choose from a list but it was a good list. I did badminton, trampolining and pool/snooker. If you wanted competitive sports you had athletics, hockey, netball etc. If you were willing to pay, you could go horse riding, ice skating, or play golf. As a sport hater it made Wednesday afternoons bearable. I am very good at pool.