Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Being called thick?

36 replies

ClemmyPennie · 03/06/2025 11:12

Aibu to not speak to this man again?

Hes my ex and we are very low distance (like 9 hour flight). We started talking again and the plan was to go out and see him next month. We call every day.

I called yesterday and he didn’t pick up. He then said he felt too shit to talk, I asked if he wanted to talk just about why he’s feeling that and just for me to listen. His response was - you’re fucking thick.

Yes I shouldn’t have asked to talk again, but I just wanted to offer because I care about him. I think I just need to end whatever this is or am I being too sensitive?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
dottiehens · 04/06/2025 22:09

Well he is rude and offensive. Dumb for good material not ifs or but. There will be a much better person for you.

CalicoPusscat · 04/06/2025 20:03

You're not moving on; he's not part of your life anymore but you're not setting boundaries.

Yes it's hard to say goodbye but you need to do it.

I think I'd just roll my eyes at the 'thick' comment.

Original poster
ClemmyPennie · 04/06/2025 19:58

Hoypenan · 03/06/2025 20:37

Who even calls people thick anymore? I would laugh at him for saying that and tell him to update his vocabulary.

Yeah it’s very odd… no idea when I left heard it before then 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
ClemmyPennie · 04/06/2025 19:57

IgneousSedimentary · 03/06/2025 19:23

But he’s your ex. You have no future.

Show quote history

I think that reasoning is silly tbh. Not using my situation as the example but people do get back together and it can work out. My friend broke up with her boyfriend and they are now married and just had their second.

An ex doesn’t mean no future. Every situation is different and complicated.

OP posts:
Hoypenan · 03/06/2025 20:37

Who even calls people thick anymore? I would laugh at him for saying that and tell him to update his vocabulary.

Skulling · 03/06/2025 20:35

ClemmyPennie · 03/06/2025 14:14

I wish people would stop commenting this. My self esteem is fine, if I was putting up with it I would have engaged with it, or apologised to him. Instead I told him outright it wasn’t ok to talk to me like that and immediately archived his following messages - because I don’t tend to block anyone.

Show quote history

You asked “I think I just need to end whatever this is or am I being too sensitive?” which quite clearly implies you still think there may be some sort of future with this person (surely you wouldn’t have started the thread otherwise?) In view of this it is perfectly reasonable for people to suggest you may need to work on your self-esteem; if this wasn’t an issue, why would you even consider a future with someone so abusive? Don’t ask for advice then complain when people offer it in good faith!

Oh, and block him. There’s a first time for everything.

Thedogscollar · 03/06/2025 20:22

ClemmyPennie · 03/06/2025 14:14

I wish people would stop commenting this. My self esteem is fine, if I was putting up with it I would have engaged with it, or apologised to him. Instead I told him outright it wasn’t ok to talk to me like that and immediately archived his following messages - because I don’t tend to block anyone.

Show quote history

Well if you think that then great crack on.

You asked if you think YABU not to talk to this man again, the man who insulted you and lives 9 hrs away. I'd say of course YANBU to think that.

My point was you need to reflect on why you even think you are being remotely unreasonable in this scenario.

He clearly isn't a nice man and that's being polite. Best thing about him is he's 9 hrs away.

IgneousSedimentary · 03/06/2025 19:23

ClemmyPennie · 03/06/2025 11:52

Because we started talking about and making plans for the future?

Show quote history

But he’s your ex. You have no future.

DaisyChain505 · 03/06/2025 18:35

ClemmyPennie · 03/06/2025 14:14

I wish people would stop commenting this. My self esteem is fine, if I was putting up with it I would have engaged with it, or apologised to him. Instead I told him outright it wasn’t ok to talk to me like that and immediately archived his following messages - because I don’t tend to block anyone.

Show quote history

If you had higher self esteem you wouldn’t have thought to make this thread to get people’s opinions.

You would have known your worth and blocked him immediately and not wasted another second on him because he’s quite clearly a total twat.

You’re lucky he lives so far away and you won’t have to bump into him in the street. Block his number and social media’s and move on.

Lanzarotelady · 03/06/2025 17:44

Yet you haven't blocked him and needed to ask on here if it was ok not to not to speak to this man again

Any woman who had an ounce of self respect would have terminated the conversation there and then, blocked and wouldn't need to seek validation from the internet as to whether she should speak to him again.

Original poster
ClemmyPennie · 03/06/2025 14:14

Thedogscollar · 03/06/2025 12:31

You need to work on your self esteem.
Obviously YANBU.
Thankfully he's 9hours away and you never need to see or gear from him again.
Nobody should be spoken to like that.
On reflection can't you see that??

I wish people would stop commenting this. My self esteem is fine, if I was putting up with it I would have engaged with it, or apologised to him. Instead I told him outright it wasn’t ok to talk to me like that and immediately archived his following messages - because I don’t tend to block anyone.

OP posts:
mumofoneAlonebutokay · 03/06/2025 13:54

Block the bustard and find someone nearer and sexier xx

WordsFailMeYetAgain · 03/06/2025 13:26

I'm surprised that you had to ask MN for answers to this. He is your ex and he should stay that way. It's not often that exes get back together and it works out.

DifferenceBetweenAChickpeaAndALentil · 03/06/2025 13:14

ClemmyPennie · 03/06/2025 11:52

Because we started talking about and making plans for the future?

Show quote history

And now that you know he thinks you’re stupid, have your plans changed?

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 03/06/2025 12:51

Thedogscollar · 03/06/2025 12:31

You need to work on your self esteem.
Obviously YANBU.
Thankfully he's 9hours away and you never need to see or gear from him again.
Nobody should be spoken to like that.
On reflection can't you see that??

This. Every word.
Please find someone to talk to in RL about your self esteem

The only advice is Bin, Block and Move on.. but I appreciate that's often easier said that done. Make a list of nice things you'd like to do, places to visit etc.. and start ticking off the list. Focus on your life and not on a completely unviable relationship with someone who is just nasty to you.

Lanzarotelady · 03/06/2025 12:38

Sounds like a great catch this one OP!

FlllapFlllapTippyTapTap · 03/06/2025 12:33

You are in the extremely fortunate position of being half a day's flight and a continent away from this particular ex, not many people can say that. Therefore enjoy how easy it will be to block him and move on with your life. You don't have a future with him op, at least not a happy one.

Thedogscollar · 03/06/2025 12:31

You need to work on your self esteem.
Obviously YANBU.
Thankfully he's 9hours away and you never need to see or gear from him again.
Nobody should be spoken to like that.
On reflection can't you see that??

Allaboutmememe · 03/06/2025 12:27

If i said to anyone do you want to talk about why you feel like that and they said you are fucking thick id know right then that they had no interest in me and im just a stand in for when no one else is about.
Its a way of saying get the hint i dont want to talk to you.
Id ditch him and block him hes an ex for a reason.

Penthrowingsurvivor · 03/06/2025 12:10

ClemmyPennie · 03/06/2025 11:56

Well it isn’t? Thats why I just responded with a it’s not ok to talk to me like that and didn’t (and won’t) engage any further.

Show quote history

and block him, and delete all trace of his social media.

You are not even together and you are getting on each other's nerves, what could possibly be the point of that?

DaisyChain505 · 03/06/2025 12:09

He’s an ex for a reason. Stop trying to make this work when it clearly won’t.

Work on yourself and your self esteem so that the mere thought of putting up with a person treating you like this is an immediate no.

loropianalover · 03/06/2025 12:02

ClemmyPennie · 03/06/2025 11:56

Well it isn’t? Thats why I just responded with a it’s not ok to talk to me like that and didn’t (and won’t) engage any further.

Show quote history

Great. Make sure you’ve blocked his number and any fb account etc.

Skulling · 03/06/2025 11:59

ClemmyPennie · 03/06/2025 11:56

Well it isn’t? Thats why I just responded with a it’s not ok to talk to me like that and didn’t (and won’t) engage any further.

Show quote history

I really hope you won’t, OP. It’s depressing how many women get sucked back into abusive situations like this because they believe that’s all they’re worth.

MoominMai · 03/06/2025 11:59

@ClemmyPennie I can’t believe you even posted this as poll - like obviously it’s not okay - surely as a grown woman yiu don’t need MN to confirm that?! 🤦🏻‍♀️

Emilysmum90 · 03/06/2025 11:59

Fucking hell OP you need to ditch this one. Leaving aside the fact you appear to be on different continents he is also an abusive twat. How dare he speak to you like that?

A boy I was seeing at uni used to regularly call me stupid/unintelligent and I still occasionally seethe about it 2 decades later.

Tell this bloke to fuck off then block him.