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Original poster

Saying no a playdate

181 replies

Youbutterbelieve · 03/06/2025 10:29

DC2(6) has made a friend in her new school. Kid seems fine, she's coming over for a play tomorrow after much nagging by DD.

I think at some point we'll get an invite back but I absolutely do not want DD going over to their house. DD does have playdates with other friends at their houses and I'm not a helicopter mum but I really don't feel this home is one I'd want DD in.

How do I say no? I don't want to offend the mum or cause issues with DD friendship.

OP posts:
Chamomileteaplease · 03/06/2025 10:35

Difficult to be truthful in this situation I am guessing.

If at some stage your daughter is asked, could you say it's actually easier logistically for you to have her daughter at your house so you would prefer that. That's nice and vague 😀.

CranberryBush · 03/06/2025 10:33

We have similar, the mums never invited her (the girl is at ours often). However when DD has asked if she can go to theirs I've said no because they have a dog which we don't know. Do you know if that family also does?

Or if you just need to explain it to the mum just say DD can get a bit shy at others houses alone so doesn't seem quite old enough yet but that her DD is welcome to come to yours again. You'll look a bit over protective but it hopefully won't come off as a personal judgement.

Ozmumofboys3 · 03/06/2025 10:32

Of course you’re not being unreasonable per se, looking out for your child’s safety is paramount. However if I wasn’t going to encourage the friendship in that way I’d probably not invite the child over to mine to avoid the awkwardness when they invite your child back….

PrettyPuss · 03/06/2025 10:32

Hard to say without knowing the reason. You might not get an invitation back. It's a bridge I'd cross when it appeared.

justkeepswimingswiming · 03/06/2025 10:31

Why? What’s wrong with the home/parents?

Saturdaybloodycleaner · 03/06/2025 10:30

Could you not just go with her? Why don't you want her in this house specifically?

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