To feel like pub staff should not turn a blind eye to inappropriate comments?

It might not be nice to listen to, but the UK has freedom of speech which includes the right to be offensive.

Like it or not, it’s not illegal to make racist or sexist remarks here unless you are going so far as to inciting others to racial hatred, which goes beyond making nasty remarks.

There’s quite a debate on this here and the degree to which freedom of speech should be allowed, but the pub is traditionally a place where people do sound off.

Oh look the pub police are here to arrest and tell naughty locals off for hurty words 😂

PS where do I sign up to fund snipers?

When your visiting a destination your a visitor, so I suggest you stay out of pubs if locals offend you and drink in your sterile hotel room away from hurty people and hurty words..

I disagree re your comment about minimum wage equals minimum effort. I know a lot of people on min wage who work very hard at their jobs and are very proud of the work they do.

However, I can understand bar staff not wanting to get involved in disputes like this but not because of how much they are paid.

hurty words 🙄

I love pubs. I visit a lot. I live in a part of Britain known for its Reform tendencies. I do not recognise what you describe. Plenty of blokes stand around the bar of my local. None of this nonsense. Mostly football chat, which I usually start.

Well why didn't you call it out and challenge them every time you heard an inappropriate comment? You say your DH did it once, the implication being he ignored them the other times and you ignored them every time.

If YOU are not willing to face up to these people, you have no right to expect other people to. Perhaps they don't care, perhaps they don't get paid enough to want a confrontation. Their reasons for not getting involved don't matter - it's up to you to intervene and face the consequences if it's something you feel strongly about.

If I found someone really offensive I think I would just leave. But have you thought about, if people can't have a conversation in a pub where there are lots of different opinions, they might just go home and follow a racist site on the internet and be radicalised. What I am saying is that room for free speech, when balanced by differing arguments, makes for a more balanced point of view.

Actually, repellent as it may be, people are permitted to be racist or sexist or homophobic.

Now that’s not my kind of place, but it’s not unlawful to be any of the above, and it’s actually a permitted opinion legally.

There are many places better deserving of your custom, choose one. Expecting the staff to police opinions is a non starter.

OP, as an ex-landlady, I'd intervene if the comments were completely out of order eg. obscene and targeted at a youngster, but that's because I had the right to ban someone if I wanted. I wouldn't intervene if the comments weren't personal or likely to cause a punchup.

It's a balancing act, and the landlord's call. The bar staff are not there to police the customers except their alcohol consumption.

This

Stop earwigging and you wouldn’t have to hear hurty words!

Unless they were shouting through a megaphone, I can’t say as I’ve ever heard what other people are saying in a pub unless I was deliberately trying to listen in.

Are you new to pubs?

They don't probably for the same reasons you said nothing too 🙄

@GreenCandleWax I would expect the managers to be setting an appropriate tone too, but the question was asked of bar staff and I genuinely don't think that bar staff should be policing the comments of customers. Bar staff are often young and have received zero training to deal with difficult situations. Unless they have the support from their manager, who has already set the tone for the pub or bar as a zero tolerance venue and they have had appropriate training in identifying and dealing with such matters, I don't think they should be placing themselves in unduly difficult and stressful situations for minimum wage.

Its not a comment I'd like, or find particularly funny. But what I would say, is that if you travelled to Dover, you left pretty soon after arriving. If you had to see your home town change beyond recognition, with the daily arrival of young men in boats being put up in what used to be pretty nice hotels, maybe you'd make the odd ill judged remarks when discussing it over a pint.

From my experience they will step in if they are especially loud/ disruptive or if they are making hateful comments at a specific person, but otherwise pubs are there for people to talk and debate with each other. Sometimes it's good to let the conversations play out, someone might challenge their views in a thought provoking way. I have had some heated debates in pubs myself about vaccinations or the moon landing/ 9/11 conspiracy... sometimes the back and forth is interesting even if I think their views are crazy. | think that's often part of the fun of a pub at times, if it's just conversation and not aimed at anyone. Why didn't you challenge their conversation if you felt someone should say something?

I would expect management of these places to not tolerate racism or sexism on their premises. Its not just the regulars who are their customers.

Have you worked in a pub?

I almost lost my much needed student job when I challenged a patron who leaned over the bar to unbutton my shirt so I could ‘give them what they came for’!

I did actually leave - walked out never went back - the day Nelson Mandela was released and they were doing monkey chants at the TV. This was a local pub in the posh bit of town.

Of course this doesn’t mean it’s their “job” or “duty” to challenge horrible and abusive comments. That’s only for the police. However I do think that people do have a moral duty to step in sometimes when comments go too far, and that goes regardless of the public setting.

What does the distinction between 'challenging' and 'stepping in' look like in practice?

The LL can get all "gerroutta my pub" if they so choose. Bar staff, not so much. As a pp said, they are paid to pull pints, not police language.

Yes, it's sad and the racist misogynistic gits are awful, and no doubt worse since being emboldened by Brexit. But pubs are adult spaces, and I'm not sure we'd really want to go down the route of policing language unless they were targeting another individual. I think you just need to vote with your feet.

I hope the rest of your holiday was great 😊

Well they might well lose their business if there was a pub next door that was willing to put up with their language. But assuming there are, say, only three or four pubs within spitting distance of the area, what if all three pubs clamped down on the racist language? Perhaps then these men would actually have to reel their necks in a bit (and who knows, maybe even consider that most people in Britain don’t appreciate racism?)

Pretty surprised at the replies - I agree with you OP to an extent. Though I think it does depend on the nature of the comments. I do think there are different kinds of sexist and racist comments, I think of them as soft vs hard for want of a better word. A soft one might be an (unfunny) joke about illegal immigrants. While a hard one would be a comment pointedly directed at a specific race. I wouldn’t necessarily expect people to challenge the first type but would hope someone would the second.

For women/sexism an acceptable (unfunny) joke might be something about doing the dishes, a harder and unacceptable one would be about abuse or violence.

Of course this doesn’t mean it’s their “job” or “duty” to challenge horrible and abusive comments. That’s only for the police. However I do think that people do have a moral duty to step in sometimes when comments go too far, and that goes regardless of the public setting. And of course the vast majority of businesses would be thoroughly within their rights to prohibit certain customers if they’re using abusive language on the premises.

But… if you go to places like Weatherspoons and similar dives, that’s the sort of clientele you’ll bump into

If you go to Wetherspoons it’s owned by someone like that.
But the clientele mostly seems to be students and young people too broke to drink anywhere else.

Gosh, nearly every pub over the course of a week, that's almost unbelievable!

Why didn't you challenge it?

Having worked in pubs, i would most certainly tell the bigots where to stick it, but that's just me