To feel like pub staff should not turn a blind eye to inappropriate comments?

Well the question is why we have immigration. This never gets discussed in the dry way it should be. It’s about money and growing the economy. It is not about;

diversity, equality or some sort of cultural quest to consider global thinking

It’s totally reasonable to say immigration is about economics. We could discuss why British people lack the relevant skills or what help they need to get them. That’s not racism, it’s pragmatic.

And when, when will we be able to separate the issues of racism and immigration? Only then can we have a sensible, grown-up discussion about immigration, which is surely about numbers, resources, infrastructure, housing, jobs etc - rather than race? Yes, there are racists around and they'll fixate on the topic, but while all racists will object to immigration, not all those who question immigration policy are racists. Many are themselves from British ethnic minorities.

Off topic - sorry - but it's a massive problem because immigration is something all European countries are now wrestling with due to wars, oppression and climate change elsewhere and it's not helpful or realistic for some people to try to shut down such discussions with knee-jerk accusations of racism.

End of rant.

I assume you've never worked in a bar? Next time stick yo cafes and tea shops where you can be more genteal and clutch your pearls freely.

The OP didn't say she was in Dover, she said that one of the wags mentioned Dover and snipers ie picking off asylum seekers one by one.

She didn't say that the drinkers were on the lower end of the socio economic scale. From my experience, racists aren't on any particular socio economic scale.

You can discuss austerity, lack of industry, globalisation, wage stagnation, neo liberalism, lack of regulation and increasing poverty without talking about shooting foreigners. In fact, you don't have to scapegoat foreigners at all.

@MiloMinderbinder925 well she did mention Dover, which did appear to be pretty deprived when I last visited there in August 2020, an all too brief period that our dear leader allowed us to leave our homes.

In any case, I was addressing your broader point about holding (or otherwise) people on the lower end of the socio-economic scale to the same standards as those in 'polite society'. While there is no excuse for racism, I am inclined to be more forgiving to those who have seen the character of their town change and their life chances trampled upon due to mass immigration, legal or otherwise.

We don't know if the OP was in a deprived area or if their comments were about being directly affected by immigration. I believe it's possible to discuss current affairs without being racist.

That is a fair point. However, often, people living in the most deprived areas often bear the brunt of mass immigration and it would be unfair to judge candid comments made in a pub setting harshly, prior to returning to an affluent middle class area, to how they might discuss these issues in their polite dinner parties.

Are you saying that people in deprived areas shouldn't be held to the same standards?

No. That's ridiculous.

No - I think you've misunderstood. I'm sorry if I didn't make it clear.

I meant that a couple of generations ago most people (there are always exceptions) would have taken a polite request or even a mild reprimand from an authority figure (teacher, nurse, doctor, pub landlord etc) with more respect than today. I mean - I don't know the stats, but did teachers and hospital staff, ticket collectors and transport staff in the 50s and 60s get the sort of obnoxious verbal and sometimes physical attacks which they get now? I would guess not. On the whole, people were more prepared to do what they were told.

But now I think people in authority (not the police, obvs) are risking their own safety when they challenge obnoxious people. Therefore my point was that it's a big ask to expect low-paid, inexperienced staff to tackle these people when they might be putting themselves in danger.

Voice of reason.

YABU. Even within a short distance there are huge cultural differences in the UK. I live in an affluent area. I've spent time 20 miles down the road in a poor post industrial town and met people with really regressive sexist , racist and homophobic views that seem alien to me, however, going into their social spaces and telling them they're wrong would not go down well. Their lives are very different to mine.

Exactly. They don't get paid enough to get involved.

I’m really surprised at this thread. I’m not in the UK, I’m in NZ - twice in the last year I’ve seen men chucked out of pubs for making sexually inappropriate comments. From friends children who work in bars, there is quite a lot of training for bar staff on dealing with this kind of stuff though and while it’s not perfect, complaints are generally taken seriously.

It sounds like they were blowing off steam about illegal immigration which many people in the country are upset about, especially in the working class where there is more a sense that they are losing out as a result, while those in wealthier areas are not impacted in the same way. No, the pub staff should not be policing these conversations.

If they were using the ‘n’ word or something like that then, yes, I would expect an intervention.

I was in a hotel once and a guy at the bar was making gross comments of a sexual nature. Meanwhile some quite elderly people, mostly women , were trying to eat their lunch.
The manager told him to ' moderate your language' . He didn't really but at least he spoke more quietly afterwards. Mind you , the way the pub trade is collapsing, not everyone can afford to pick and choose I suppose.

So this happened in lots of pubs, but your dh only called someone out on it in one pub. You clearly didnt feel comfortable or safe to say anything to them, but expect an employee (not the owner) to feel safe and comfortable doing so? The people are probably regulars, and staff would have to deal with the fallout long after you’ve taken yourself home.

I am sure you are a good person OP and are good intentioned. But it is no wonder that locals start to get frustrated with tourists when they start rocking up that their usual haunts, and trying to police their speech about topics they know very little about. Like I mentioned earlier, I'm not a fan of what was said about snipers, but I don't think its fair to start ripping them to shreds in their own local when you can drive back to your ivory tower where these things don't really affect you, and they are stuck in their deteriorating town.

I think racism and humanity go hand in hand. It’s everywhere .

Direct insults at another customer is very different to mouthing off opinions someone finds obnoxious.

The OP did not describe anything that sounded like a personal attack

@CoffeeCantata do you really believe that 40 years ago in some pubs there weren't people mouthing off about pooftas, wogs, ragheads, lezzers and much worse? Was that a lack of respect for authority, or was it perhaps that in those days the authorities believed similar?

Times have changed but bigots have and always will continue to exist and chat their shit in pubs. I'm not saying it is right or what I agree with, but in this country we have freedom of speech (thank heavens) and people are going to stay stuff that we may overhear and find deeply unpleasant.

My university's student union bar had a sign on the wall thirty years ago to say they were against any form of sex, racial or homophobic prejudice and associated language- or words to that effect. How well it was enforced I don't know but it certainly felt like a safe space compared with some of the local bars and clubs!

As I thought, only two posts from the OP.

and brining in laws where you can be prosecuted for saying stuff - not conducive to friendly behaviour.

And impossible to enforce - it would be 'he said, she said' etc. And you'd get lots of malicious allegations too.

You can't bring in a law which can't be enforced, and policing people's private conversations would be impossible. Now, if they're calling out insults or harassing other people, that's different, but just a couple of horrible people muttering racist/sexist things to each other - I can't see how that could be stopped unless the landlord intervened - and even that would be very difficult to make work in reality.

As pps have said - if you're offended, say so the culprits at the time or leave and tell the staff why.

This is different isn’t it? Abusing someone personally by racism directed at them is unacceptable. That is not the same as unpleasant opinions