Pregnancy announcement before brothers wedding

But she is talking about close family - she says she wants to tell her parents and siblings. I think some people think she's going to be making a speech where she declares her pregnancy to hundreds of wedding guests, but she says: 'It’s only a small wedding with parents and siblings so I was going to announce it to the people who will be at the wedding as they are my close family'

This is rubbish. Many women who are able to procreate are on antibiotics for many reasons. I have been on antibiotics recently and I am certainly not pregnant. If you genuinely assume someone's pregnant due to antibiotics you just be quite shallow.

Never seen "someone who had a different interpretation of one word I used and then found my disproportionate anger about it amusing" as a definition of troll before but each to their own.

Absolutely tell your family and enjoy the day.
Two weeks apart, the two things are not connected.

Yes, wait. The bride might be understandably upset if it's a big topic of conversation at the wedding.

If people are polite, even if they notice you're pregnant, they won't mention it. Some women know from hormones almost immediately when others are pregnant. Someone picked up on mine literally 2 weeks in.
I have a friend who has systematically "guessed" accurately every pregnancy in our circle from almost the outset. You just can't hide it completely but it's not about being deceitful, it's about not making it the central topic of conversation. They'll be plenty of time for that!

Not unreasonable. I think it would be unreasonable to throw a strop as an adult because other family members dare to have a life with milestones too.

A few weeks before is absolutely fine and so what if you get a few congratulations? If that takes the 'shine' away from their wedding day then clearly it isn't going to be much of a wedding day.

this thread also highlights the crazy alcohol culture in this country, and the hold it has over people. All the strategies and advice are bonkers!

I feel short-changed that nobody proposed to their partner during my wedding! I would have genuinely loved that. The more joy the better. I got married almost 25y ago; perhaps times were different then.

I’d wait until after. I found it relatively easy to not drink before I told people I was pregnant. I had several big drinking events as well! My tactic was to accept alcohol then just hold it not drink and people just assume you’ve had a top up etc. also get your husband to drink some of it too so you have glass at some points too.

Imagine not being able to tell your mum you were pregnant because it would somehow ruin your brother’s wedding.

I’m with you. If it was my wedding, I would just be happy for the OP!

Just wait until the 12 week scan.

People will only notice you are not drinking if you make a big deal out of not drinking.

I wouldn’t care if I was the bride and you told people now but to save anxiety it might just be wise to tell your brother and his soon to be wife now and see how they feel. I’m sure they won’t care at all

Don’t, just wait until you’re 12 weeks which will be after the wedding and no one can accuse you of stealing anyone’s thunder.

You should wait, you'll only be 10 weeks anyway

Yes this. If I was getting married I wouldn't be bothered in slightest if a family member announced a pregnancy around that date. As long as they weren't interrupting the marriage vows or the speeches for the announcement then who cares!

You realise most antibiotics don't ban alcohol with them now. Honestly if you say youre not drinking because youre on antibiotics you'd be as well wearing an IM PREGNANT t-shirt. That excuse wll fool noone these days

Yeah I 💯 get that, when I was pregnant I told people as soon as I knew, didn’t even occur to me not to. But I do think that waiting until the first scan to share to people outside of close family is probably the more sensible thing, you protect yourself from risk of upset and having to explain to everyone what has happened at a time when you are probably already heartbroken.

It is nice when people post their first scan on their announcement too though, I always enjoy that

Trolls. Fun at parties.

Any other MN cliches you wish to trot out as you have no better arguments? There are still some you haven’t used!

So wedding will be when she's 10 weeks, if they honeymoon straight after they may be back when she's around 13 weeks depending on gap. When are people planning on her telling them?

Does she need to wait a few weeks after they get back to avoid stealing the honeymoon spotlight?

Unless she plans on not telling them until she's nearly 20 weeks she's going to have to tell people close to the proximity of the wedding or wedding affiliated events, and if she did that they'd likely be pretty hurt at not knowing until then!

If she tells them now at 8 weeks it will be old news by time of the wedding.

There is only one thing that is bizarre here.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed your snack, I’m done with feeding today though. Have a good one

Depends on the family member, if it was my brother then he has form for managing to turn every event into his circus. Particularly if it was an unusually early announcement. If it were my sister, then I would just think she was to excited to keep it in.

I hate the “you should wait until 12 weeks” type of comments.

It makes woman feel like they can’t tell people beforehand. There is no right or wrong. You can absolutely tell friends or family before 12 weeks if you

1. have had previous losses and want extra support
2. are just really excited and want to tell others
3. have anxiety and need people to talk to about your pregnancy other than your partner
4. just because you want too

I had a loss at 10 weeks and guess what… next time I got pregnant I told family at 4 weeks (I know shock horror) because I knew I would need the support.

Yes the miscarriage risks are a lot higher before 12 weeks but unfortunately there is no safe zone, and every pregnancy matters no matter the gestation. People shouldn’t have to hide it if they don’t want too.

You should wait. Don't take the shine off the wedding.