Pregnancy announcement before brothers wedding

Do not announce! even if the bride has the good grace not to say anything, you might unwittingly upset her by taking away from her special day, and what is the real need to say anything? Agree with past comments not to mention antibiotics etc, especially considering you CAN have a drink on the majority of antibiotics. just take the drink, no one pays attention to whether you actually drink it provided they hear you order something or have a drink in your hand. It's not that hard, I've done it many a time! Unless you're from a family who likes to take shots or split the G, most people are not watching you that closely.

OP never said anything about making the actual announcement at the wedding. She is talking about a few weeks before which isn't hijacking their wedding at all.

Please don’t be THAT PERSON, a selfish person who hijacks someone else’s special occasion & makes it about Them.
Your brothers wedding is about him & his Bride, NOT YOU. This is their One day to bask in the spotlight. If you announce your pregnancy at their wedding you will hurt them both & it’s something that you may not be forgiven for doing.

There are plenty of other perfectly valid reasons for not drinking.

BTW, 10 weeks is far too early to be publicly announcing a pregnancy, Wait until your second trimester.

Definitely wait, it's the nice thing to do

keep quiet until after the wedding. Line up a couple of the free drinks on your table near your plate and if you have a soft drink ask for it in a short glass so it looks like you’re drinking. Or just say you’re the designated driver. Let them have this time and enjoy having this secret between just you and your dh.

I don't remember but if it's the one about OP not making the wedding all about her not drinking, probably because I thought it was apposite, and so (agreeing with you on this issue) I quoted it. I neglected to write 'I agree with this, OP' before I started. I did not mean to offend you, so I apologise.

I think that may be an age thing.

I'm early 50s and when I was younger, anytime a woman said she was on antibiotics the first thought would be .... Pregnant.

However I saw at least one thread here where someone said this, and most of the posters were "are you crazy?" Or "are you crazy and rude" so I don't know

What difference does it make? I’m genuinely bewildered. Surely, even if you tell people at the wedding, it won’t spoil their day. Nothing overshadows the happy couple.

The “wait til 12 weeks to make sure your pregnancy is valid” argument is absolutely absurd. She is pregnant. Announcing or not announcing does not make her less so. And as someone who has experienced lots of loss, it’s really nice to get the joy first before the sadness (if it happens).

Do not announce it, you will steal their thunder.

I had the same happen to me just before my brother’s wedding. No-one noticed I wasn’t drinking- I just took one but didn’t drink it, or drank something that looked like a spirit and a mixer. The most frustrating thing was we had difficulty getting taxis home at the end of the night and I could have driven but didn’t because it would have given the game away. I told DM I was pregnant once DB & SIL had left for their honeymoon.

Please don’t . Pretty much everyone will think less of you for trying to steal their limelight.

I never said it was a guarantee but it is true that seeing a heartbeat at 7-8 weeks does reduce the risk by quite a bit.

OP says close family. They are likely people who would know if OP miscarried anyway.

Let them have their special day. If anyone asks what you are drinking, not sure they would, say you are driving/on antibiotics etc.

Keep it quiet now and at the wedding. Anything else is hogging the limelight. No one will be watching what you drink. Just have sparkling water in a wine/champagne glass and celebrate their time. Not wise to announce until after 12 weeks anyway.

@SouthLondonMum22 Yes it’s less likely but still possible and happens a lot - one glance at the MC forums will tell you as such. A heartbeat at 8w is not a guarantee of a baby in 9m.

perhaps our interpretation of who will be in receipt of the ‘announcement’ is different. OP didn’t say just parents etc, she said people who will be at the wedding (albeit small).

To, me it’s unnecessary to make an ‘announcement’ to whole wedding party at 8-10 weeks because you won’t be drinking at an event, there’s ways around this however it’s her prerogative of course if she’d like to tell people early.

I think the best advice has been to speak to brother and SIL first and gather their thoughts on it.

I'm surprised so many people think it's an issue. Especially if it's a small family wedding.
But since I appear to be in the minority of thinking it's probably OK (bridezilla and/or groomzilla dependant maybe 😜), I'd probably talk to your brother and clue him in and ask if he'd be OK with you telling everyone before. If not, you have your answer.

If not, just tell them you've been feeling a bit unwell and don't feel like drinking.
Don't say antibiotics. Everyone thinks pregnancy when a woman says that.

I'm honestly shocked so many people think it's stealing thunder, or worse tacky I've just read!

Congratulations by the way!!

eight weeks is still very early in your pregnancy i wouldn’t announce before 12 weeks to ensure pregnancy is valid before making everyone happy and taking away lime light

OP had her scan at 8 weeks. I'd say it's now more unlikely she will miscarry.

Even if she did, it's only close family who she'd be telling anyway and may need their support.

Depends when you’re seeing the heartbeat - if you’re seeing the heartbeat at 6 weeks you’re still in fragile territory. I MC few days after this.
Anyway, we digress.

Why have you quoted my post??

It’s a while since I was pregnant but I thought if you’ve seen a heart beat the risk of miscarriage decreases hugely. OP has had an early scan.

Don't tell anyone so early. It's far too likely to end badly. 1 in 4 end very naturally before 12 weeks because pregnancy is pretty difficult for nature to get right every time. You're setting yourself up for disappointment as well as pissing off the wedding party.
There's tons of reasons why people would skip drinks.

I'd probably wait. This thread demonstrates that people have really different views on 'stealing thunder' when it comes to weddings, so play it safe. I get that you're super excited to announce it, but leave it for another gathering/moment.

The not drinking thing is just not a biggie these days. Have a glass of wine poured if you like, then just ignore it and sip water. Don't start banging on about toothache or antibiotics - no one really does that unless it's to Not Be Pregnant.

A friend of mine encouraged her sister to announce in similar circumstances because she was getting anxious at the idea of being the centre of attention on her wedding day. She said it helped take the pressure off her!

I don't think you need any complicated strategy for avoiding drinking. It's so commonplace these days.

It’s absolutely ridiculous isn’t it? I met my friends baby at my wedding, he was only 3 weeks old and my other friend had just had her 12 week scan the morning of it! I asked her how it went and still managed to enjoy my wedding! Imagine that!