Pregnancy announcement before brothers wedding

The depressing thing about this thread is that society is so obsessed with alcohol that people need to invent an "excuse" not to drink.

Don't put it on the bride. Just wait until after the wedding.

After. But you know this, you just wish everyone said « Hell the wedding! Give your good news » 😂😂

Proving the point that we’re all different. I wouldn’t care and wouldn’t view it as stealing my thunder, I’d just be happy for you. But this poster obviously would be really annoyed. So you have to make the call as you know your sister in law better than any of us!

So you can't comprehend that people see things differently?

If it was me I would love to hear your happy news. But some brides would get annoyed and view it as stealing their thunder.

you know the couple getting married best so you’re the one who needs to make the call.

True, ok for the siblings, but the bride might be upset.

I just don’t get this at all. Unless you are a party animal who everyone expects to go wild drinking why would anyone notice?. There’s loads of different things you could say if you did want to prepare in case someone noticed as others have said. A good one is ‘I’m doing a detox/no alcohol for xx days/haven’t touched a drink this year through to driving later/tomorrow, on meds for days and so on’. A glass of water with ice and lemon looks the same as gin and tonic etc. I don’t think you should announce it and don’t think it needs to be a big deal.

I really don't understand why it would be a problem to tell your family or friends you are pregnant. This is happy news and it just adds to the joy of the wedding.

Also some people choose to wait to announce pregnancy but it is perfectly fine to tell people as soon as you find out yourself if you want.

I'm 50 and I do think people were a lot less precious about this when we were all getting pregnant or married.

I wouldn't announce it until 12 weeks anyway.

Personally I would wait until the 12 week scan to tell people I was pregnant. They can do more detailed checks to confirm the viability of the pregnancy at that stage.

plus the scan pictures are much better at 12 weeks than 8 weeks.

Let people enjoy the wedding, and have their special moment, and at 12 weeks when you announce the pregnancy you will be able to enjoy your moment!

I have always understood announcing a pregnancy or engagement around a close family wedding to be considered inconsiderate.

Honestly, I would let my brother know, tell them now, but tell them you aren’t telling anyone else until AFTER the wedding. Let them hold onto that little snippet, that way you can tell people when they are on honeymoon and they can tell people when they get back that they knew before the wedding but kept it quiet because you didn’t want to upstage them. They may decide to tell you to tell people, but at least you will know.

My best friend got engaged at my wedding but had the grace to keep it completely quiet until the next day, and then only told us. Everyone else found out whilst we were on honeymoon. I was absolutely over the moon for them but very pleased that they decided not to share until my day was done.

I wouldn't say anything that's not fair on your brother.. just let him have his day.. no-one is going to wonder why your not drinking. You could be getting over a cold or had a headache use any excuse but don't tell anyone yet.

Also means when the weddings over you have something else to celebrate!

Keep shhh

As for the drinking aspect, I think it should be pretty easy to find soft drink alternatives, and I'm not sure anyone would notice. I tend to have alcohol-free beer/gin when I'm out

Me too, I announced my pregnancies as soon as I knew. I lost one of them, and I was glad my friends knew as I could then discuss it with them. The idea of keeping a pregnancy loss secret sounds awful, I lost mine 12 years ago and I still feel it.

This.

100%

Good news is good news

It's just a wedding. Yes, it's a special day but does that mean that all the guests must suspend their lives and joy for one couple?

Some friends got engaged at our wedding, they were tipsy and at a romantic location and he just decided that the time was now. She was nervous to tell us because they were 'stealing our limelight'. But we were overjoyed for them! How could they steal our limelight, I was in the big white dress surrounded by the people I love and their engagement just made things even more lovely. On that day my husband and I were not the only people there who deserved happiness.

So OP you do what you feel is best, you know your family. You shouldn't have to lie about having an 'infection' to hide your wonderful news.

If anyone has a problem, it is their problem and not yours.

Could you tell him and ask him if he would be ok with you saying beforehand?

Leave it until after the wedding I would say. My Brother and sister in law announced their pregnancy shortly before our wedding and I silently seethed. In light of the huge extravaganza of a wedding we had, in hindsight it was unreasonable and I am glad I didn't cause a fuss at the time because it would have been silly, but honestly, save yourself the potential drama... you don't want to deal with that during early pregnancy stages.

Firstly congratulations but leave it until after and let your brother and his wife to be have their day. You don't have to pretend not to drink, just don't drink I very much doubt anyone will notice as attention will be on bride and groom. If anyone does happen to notice just say you don't feel like drinking, you don't have to tell anyone why.

Congratulations!!! Yea I'd leave telling family until after DB wedding.....

Yeah it’s so strange, so happy there’s no competition or jealousy with my siblings or anyone else, I could not give a crap if someone told people they were pregnant 2 weeks before I get married! What sort of attention are people needing? Very cringe for adults

Please do it after . Say 3 weeks after or if the couple are going on honeymoon a few days after they are back.
Congratulations!!!

I really don't understand what this means. What focus is needed on the sinling that would be given to the other one? Does someone getting married expect daily phone calls for 2 weeks to check how the wedding plans are progressing and are those impacted by someone also being excited about a pregnancy?

Is it about the day itself that the sibling getting married expects to be looked at and talked about the entire time? That the grandmother to be wouldn't be able to "focus" on this task and would be unable to stop herself asking the pregnant sister if she's OK every 10 minutes or something?

I can't imagine a situation where any of these things are remotely plausible.

Telling is different to announcing because you know how excited someone will be.
I had the first grandchild in our family. My Mum had talked about wanting to be a grandmother pretty much as soon as her youngest child reached adult hood.

If I had told her I was pg two weeks before one of my siblings was getting married she may have struggled to keep the focus on that sibling. I know I would have waited. As I said up thread, every family is different.

Wow a woman being pregnant and telling her parents isn’t making everything about themselves! Also woman can tell people they’re pregnant at anytime if they wish!