Pregnancy announcement before brothers wedding

Why?

Do not do this, it is not fair to your brother and bride and at 8 weeks or10 at the time, you have plenty of time for the family spotlight to shine on you.
As for not drinking, there are lots of ways to get around that, recovering from stomach upset, taking medications, health programme etc etc.
Also from a purely practical point of view from a retired nurse/midwife I find it best to keep it to yourself until at least 12 weeks. Need I say more?

In my experience, people in weddings are having general catch ups with a lot of people and chatting about everything and anything personal. Very little about the actual wedding or couple outside the toasts and speeches.

They even discuss other weddings! That probably ought to be illegal according to some

Nobody spends the whole day of someone’s wedding talking about the bride and groom (or discussing a recently announced pregnancy). They also discuss their own house moves, upcoming holidays and what they are watching on Netflix. That must be very upsetting for some on here!

Ugh

I just don't recognise this behaviour at all. Neither the idea that because someone is pregnant it dominates the conversation in any way, or that any significant time at a wedding is spent discussing the bride rather than generally catching up with people any enjoying it.

I've been pregnant at weddings. Didn't bring the subject up but if someone asked why I wasn't drinking (which they did) I gave my straightforward "I'm pregnant but it's early days so anything could happen" answer and that was the end of it. Also been at a wedding where someone else was 10 weeks and enough people noticed that she ended up doing the same. People spent as much time talking about their jobs and house moves and holidays as the pregnancies and, shock horror, the wedding itself.

Yep this exactly. The day was spent talking about the new baby etc. The woman getting married was the only girl in the family and the youngest. Just felt a bit of a shame for her after all her planning. They could've waited 3 days.

That said if anyone announced their pregnancy before my wedding I’d have not cared… life goes on - the world doesn’t stop because someone is getting married!… but I know lots of brides do demand full attention on their wedding day… I had a friend who was REALLY angry that her sister had got pregnant before her wedding, she was about 8 months pregnant at the wedding and my friend hated that her sister would be pregnant in all the photos and not only would be people be asking about it on the day, but forever more when they look at her wedding pics! She honestly felt her sister should’ve delayed trying for a baby till after her wedding…. Some people are truest shocking 🤣
I’d maybe visit your brother and his wife to be. Tell them your news and ask their opinion on when is best to announce it.

Because everyone would be congratulating the pregnant party and the soon to be grandparents etc… people then like to talk about their pregnancies grandchildren etc…. The bride would probably rather people talk about how lovely her dress/hair/the food etc at the wedding she planned and paid for over the past year or so.

This. I’m a midwife of 40 years and feel that having to suffer a miscarriage alone, because no one knew, is the reason a lot of women don’t get over the loss for a long time, if ever.
Also the first 12 weeks is often when you feel the worse with nausea and fatigue and might like some support and sympath.
I can’t believe people get offended when the announcement is 2 weeks before the wedding.
Joy is not limited.

Congrats.
but as others have said keep it quiet till your brothers wedding is over and done with. MI had to tell my family at 4 weeks because I was being sick 12 times a day… but I’d have loved to have been able to keep it quiet and enjoy it privately for longer.

How in any way would this impact their wedding?

I know someone who announced the 1st grandchild the day before her husbands sisters wedding. Did not go down well.

Like you say, to each their own.

I never experienced pregnancy loss but felt very strongly that I would want the existence, however brief, of my child known. I thought I would lose one and shared that with people while it was happening. I've always been very open about this sort of thing.

I know others are different and they have to do what is right for them. People would have known it's not my own style to not share as soon as there are two lines on the test though.

When I have experienced close non-pregnancy loss I was very free talking about it, so even if I hadn't told people I was pregnant, I'd probably have told them I'd lost a baby.

How you’d feel about sharing pregnancy loss is a bit difficult to predict ahead of time though isn’t it? Unless you had already experienced loss I suppose, and even then you may change your mind.

I think it would be a very rare woman who would be comfortable with Auntie Bess’s friend from church, or other randoms, coming up to them and congratulating them on the pregnancy, because Auntie Bess had told them, just after they’d lost the baby which aforementioned random didn’t know about. Except now they do.

I think this is the prime reason for waiting; to exercise some control over how to manage grief and loss when you don’t really know how it will feel. I personally think it’s an excellent reason.

Each to their own though.

Re OP, the benefits of waiting clearly outweigh the benefits of telling, imho.

How close are you with the bride? If your close I'd send her a text and see what she thinks as some people can get funny about others sharing new on the run up to their wedding. It would be a lot better telling people now instead of them guessing at the wedding.

Or you could tell everyone your driving or on antibiotics for a UTI. I find if you use UTI as a excuse people are embarrassed to question you. 😂 That the worst thing about small weddings/gatherings, it hard to hide if your not drinking while you normally would and people always assumed your pregnant when you don't drink.

Just say you are on antibotics so can’t drink and then tell everyone around 12 weeks

Even with loads of people saying OP should deliberately wait to tell her family I still don't get what's so bad about this scenario. I'd have been delighted to hear good news like that on my wedding day.

I certainly wouldn't think my brother was "dense" for telling me.

Just don’t do what my brother and his then girlfriend did to me and announce it on the morning of my wedding as a ‘surprise’… I think she did it on purpose because my brother refused to marry her and she was jealous. My brother is just dense.

Totally agree, and sometimes people just don't want to drink.

I like coke and water and tea enough sometimes I just have that as I'm in the mood for it.

Wait. Be designated driver for DH

Congratulations! I'd wait a couple of weeks after. If you're a driver say 'no alcohol I'm driving, or they probably wont even noticr'. Let them have their day, it's their special time.😉

Announce now. Everyone has 2 weeks to congratulate you.

Life is life. Things happen. You wont be walking down an aisle, saying vows; making a speech, sitting top table, weating a bridal gown, being centre in the photos

so how is it stealing attention? You sre allowed to discuss your life at the event

Announce now

I don’t really understand the point about “attention “
makes no sense at all