Pregnancy announcement before brothers wedding

Wait until after. If you want say you on antibiotics but honestly people won't notice or care. Enjoy the wedding

But why? It’s not tempting fate if say your mum knows you’re expecting. That’s seems like magical thinking and superstition. Talking about being pregnant with close trusted people doesn’t end your pregnancy. I’ve had 2 babies and 2 miscarriages. Nothing I said made one pregnancy work and other one not progress. (Do agree with you about shopping for the baby - that’s just silly)

Only if that's what's right for you. Anyone is entirely welcome to tell whoever they want, whenever they want. For some if us that's pretty much as soon as we know. For some it's 20 weeks. There's no "should" in it.

You shouldn't tell anyone until 12 weeks (or buy anything) wedding or not.

I found out I was pregnant just before my cousins wedding. I had a sip out of a glass of champagne and had water with my meal. One of my other cousins noticed and asked why I wasn’t drinking and I just said I wanted to enjoy the day without a hangover the next day - she didn’t believe me but it stopped the attention being pulled away from the happy couple

See it wouldn't bother me. But I know the woman in question was upset as they had their first scan then announced all over fb and to the brides parents etc.

When I got married I couldn't care less about anyone else's news as I was just interested in getting married. I'd be happy they shared their news.

But then everyone is different.

Me either. Other people's lives don't stop because I'm having a wedding.

Sorry for your loss.

At every wedding I have been to, the extent to which people talk about the wedding while they're at it are:
'Isn't her dress beautiful?'
'Ah, lovely to see them so happy'
'Christ, are they still having photos taken?'
And some comments about the food.

I think I've probably spent more time at weddings discussing how much feet hurt than the bride and groom 😂

I would be devastated if anybody felt they had to hide their miscarriage from me because I was getting married. I am not that sort of person.

Also this is all magnified by 100 if it's the FIRST grandchild / baby in the family for a generation

What if you heard about your sisters miscarriage the week/day before the wedding? Would you still expect everyone to be in high spirits or would everyone, including the bride and groom feel awful and guilty for celebrating while she is going through something so traumatic? It is only a small family wedding.

If OP was over 12 weeks and the risk is reduced then there is really no reason not to share the news to celebrate, but at 8 weeks, announcing her pregnancy purely to have a joint celebration with them on their day is very premature imo and as selfish as it sounds could have the potential to really ruin their day. She shouldn't have to hide it, or suffer in silence, but the fact that she has got to eight weeks without telling any of her family means that she isn't actually that bothered about them knowing about the pregnancy early, she just wants to be able to celebrate her happy news as they celebrate their day.

So the only feasible way of doing that is to tell her brother in the days before and perhaps announce later on in the day if they are okay with that, it would still be 10 weeks but imo it is the only way to ensure their day goes as intended.

Lots of posts already, but I was in a similar situation at my cousin’s wedding and I just carried around a drink and/or made a soft drink look like a g+t. My eagle eyed gran did notice I wasn’t drinking, but I brushed it off as wanting to stay sober as I had to watch my toddler (appreciate you may not have this convenient excuse). I did mention it quietly to my sister later on in the evening, as I was a bit sicky and quieter than usual. Sadly I did go on to lose that baby, so I am glad I didn’t say anything to more than one person - it’s horrible to have to tell lots of people if that is the outcome.

Just say you have a UTI

Yes, most discussion goes something like:
"Bob, haven't seen you for ages! How are you? How are the kids? Still working at x? Been up to anything lately?" And reverse. Repeat with next person.

Some of you are really having weddings for all the wrong reasons

so true. Maybe this should be a criterion in deciding whether or not to get married. If your wedding day would be ruined by hearing about a sibling’s pregnancy two weeks before, you are clearly not happy in your relationship and should not go through with it!

Also - and I say this as a parent who occasionally has to make sure I'm not talking too much about my little treasures myself - if you think people need a pregnant woman to be present to start monologuing about their own children/grandchildren then I'm not sure you've ever interacted with people? Some guests at the wedding will absolutely talk about their own children, whatever OP does.

think most people will just say a quiet 'congratulations' to a pregnant woman but there is usually someone who gets overly invested, starts sharing all their birth / childcare stories........... when actually OP and the pregnancy obsessed guest should be celebrating with the bride & groom.

You think that people should 'celebrate with the bride & groom' ALL DAY and so that if two people have an extended conversation about pregnancy it will ruin it?! Even if someone blahs on to OP about the pregnancy for an hour, you think that this will be the only hour of the day when the conversation isn't entirely about the bride and groom?

At every wedding I have been to, the extent to which people talk about the wedding while they're at it are:
'Isn't her dress beautiful?'
'Ah, lovely to see them so happy'
'Christ, are they still having photos taken?'
And some comments about the food.

If people talked about nothing but the bride and groom most wedding receptions would be held in silence.

Couldn’t agree more 🙌🏻

Jesus Christ that’s the most controlling narcissistic thing I’ve heard but each to their own

@MrsJoanDanvers
I do agree with everything you have said if everyone in the family was normal, however, we all have relatives (or friends) who are dickheads / can't read the room / over-react / over-excited / drama llamas / make a fuss over the most mundane bits of information.

That's why people are advising OP to keep schtum until after the wedding.

I think most people will just say a quiet 'congratulations' to a pregnant woman but there is usually someone who gets overly invested, starts sharing all their birth / childcare stories........... when actually OP and the pregnancy obsessed guest should be celebrating with the bride & groom.

I also find it baffling. My own family would be both confused and a bit hurt that I had lied to them and pretended to be ill at my brother's wedding (which itself seems to be a bit attention seeking, tbh) rather than just tell them some nice, happy news when I had it.

I simply cannot get my head around all this drama-making up stories like toothache and stomach upsets because…what? Lying because other family members can’t possibly have a tiny bit of attention given to someone else on their wedding day instead of 100% fawning? Weddings are for catching up with people you haven’t seen for ages-but you can’t have a conversation because you’re looking at the bride and groom? It’s just a small intimate wedding-like mine and I would’ve been excited and delighted if I heard good news-adds to a great day. But I’m definitely in the minority as people would ty themselves in knots making up stories even on the run up tothe wedding! What’s wrong with even saying you don’t fancy drinking alcohol? Many people I know don’t.

Mention toothache and dentists appointments on the run up to the wedding then noone will be surprised that you're on abx

Even if the day was spent talking about the new baby (it won’t be) how would the bride and groom know? Are people going around guests at their wedding and policing what other people say? There was barely anyone I spent more than 3 minutes talking to at my wedding, apart from my husband, someone could have told others they were pregnant at my wedding and I’d have never known. The only thing I cared about was marrying my husband and that HIS attention was on me, no one else.
Some of you are really having weddings for all the wrong reasons.