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Original poster

Pregnancy announcement before brothers wedding

434 replies

Kittycat02 · 03/06/2025 08:26

I’ve just found out we are expecting, and have had an early scan (8weeks). My brother gets married in 2 weeks time, so I want to announce it now so that I don’t have to pretend to drink at the wedding. It’s only a small wedding with parents and siblings so I was going to announce it to the people who will be at the wedding as they are my close family and I know how excited they are going to be!
AIBU to announce it before his wedding or should I wait until afterwards?

OP posts:
LostMySocks · 03/06/2025 08:57

I'd keep quiet then you will have some lovely news to share when everything feels flat after the wedding is over.

People tend to notice whether or not you have a glass of alcohol not whether you are drinking. I went to a family dinner at a restaurant when I was 8 weeks pregnant. I had a large glass of wine in front of me and occasionally picked it up and pretended to drink. DH also had the odd slug and we swapped glasses a couple of times (accidentally putting close together on the table and picking up the other one etc). None realised or noticed.
It's easier at a wedding as you can mingle making it easier to get rid of a glass or get just tonic in your gin and tonic etc.

oncimesmask · 03/06/2025 08:54

I’d wait around 4 weeks just say you are on antibiotics /feel under the weather or have a drink and don’t drink it . Will anyone be that interested in your drinking habits?

Helpmeplease2025 · 03/06/2025 08:53

I’d keep quiet for now too. If you have a drink on your hand, no one notices if you drink it or not

babystarsandmoon · 03/06/2025 08:52

Wait until a week or two after the wedding.

Mrsttcno1 · 03/06/2025 08:51

Let them have their day.

Crimblecrumble1990 · 03/06/2025 08:51

Let them have this day be all about them IMO.

luckylavender · 03/06/2025 08:51

Ask the bride

637382gdjdb · 03/06/2025 08:45

I would wait until after. As it's a small wedding it's very possible that announcing your pregnancy in advance will mean a fair bit of attention is on you on the day as people ask about it etc. Better just to let them have their moment and then you can enjoy yours in due course.

There are lots of good reasons you might not be drinking - medication, dodgy tum, driving etc. Or you can ask your partner to get you fizzy waters with a slice of lime and tell people they're gin and tonic. I survived a work night out without my team noticing I wasn't drinking just by holding a glass of Prosecco without actually drinking it. Nobody noticed, people tend not to really pay close enough attention for it to be a problem.

Piffle11 · 03/06/2025 08:41

I’d keep quiet. This is the run-up to your brother’s wedding… He and his bride will be immersed in their occasion. They might feel this is taking the limelight off them somewhat.

we made the mistake of telling MIL that we were expecting when I was about 10 weeks gone. We had a wedding coming up… We asked her to keep quiet but she didn’t. She told everyone. And then the problem was, we got to this wedding and people were coming up to me and congratulating me. I was mortified.

I know there’s the scope to celebrate both things, but this will be their day, and if you announce now your pregnancy WILL be a big topic of conversation. Just wait a couple more weeks.

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