Pregnancy announcement before brothers wedding

It’s a tricky one OP and every situation / person is different. As you’ve asked for our advice, personally I would wait. If the main reason you want to tell people is because of the drinking as many have said it really isn’t that hard to pretend to be drinking - everyone else will be be having a wonderful time - I also was around 10 weeks pregnant at a wedding and had non alcoholic ciders / lemonade / tonic water and I had a few sips of champagne to toast (optional but did my dc no harm). I actually found it quite fun pretending to drink especially because I’m a big drinker so had to do a bit of acting but once everyone starts drinking themselves I promise they’re paying no attention to you at all. You may be tired at the end of the night and your bladder may suffer from all the soft drinks 🤣

But I also didn’t tell PIL until 12 weeks and my own parents until 16 weeks because I was v cautious about losses especially with my line of work I’d unfortunately been exposed to a lot and if I had another I would probably do the same so that’s me personally.

Another option is to inform the bride and groom only and say you’re letting them know now as you didn’t want it to be discovered at the wedding and take the limelight off them. They might be happy for you to tell everyone and ask you to in which case you have their blessing or they might be more like - “thanks for letting us know” and want to help you conceal it on the wedding day then you know where their heads are at with it. I think it would be unrealistic to expect that it wouldn’t be a huge talking point at the wedding especially if it is such a small wedding which I think is a bit unfair especially as it’s so early, easy to conceal and would literally mean you waiting 2 more weeks to tell.

congrats on bump x x

Adding another “wait 12 weeks” before announcing. It’s the sensible option.

Don't be that person. Wait until after their wedding. There are so many excuses not to drink - or just take a glass of whatever is being handed around and hold on to it. People will assume you are drinking it!

absolutely this

If there's a toast, simply putting your lips in the glass is not doing anything to the baby anyway.

I’d wait for sure. I think it being a small wedding makes it worse and more likely for them to feel you’re trying to take attention, even though you’re not. Just leave it until after and then you can both have your own separate lovely congratulations from people you love!

Don’t announce it now, you are only 8 weeks and the wedding is so close. Just make it look like you are drinking, ask for lemonade in a wine glass or have a coke and say it’s vodka and coke.

Keep it to yourself.
Tonic without gin has got me through a number of occasions where I didn't want to drink without being questioned about it. Get the barman on-side.
At some point you'll be handed a glass of fizz, it's easy to put it to your mouth and pretend to take a sip. Much less consipcuous than refusing it.Subtly swap glasses with your OH after he's drunk some of his so that you're not sitting there with a full glass.
You can pull this off, no-one needs to notice.

Another vote for wait, unless you are obviously showing which would be unusual at 10 weeks with your first. As others have said, just walk around with a glass of whatever you would normally drink, or if you would drink something with a mixer that’s even easier.

Just wait till 12 weeks to say you are pregnant. I’ve had 4 children and always waited till at least 12 week scan including not drinking at weddings when in early pregnancy. You can give any reason for not drinking. The time will go quick.

We did this, no-one will be watching you that clearly tbh and it works well. making up stories about antibiotics only draws attention to you not drinking.

Congratulations though!

Do not announce. People may guess if you’re not drinking anyway but keep it quiet till after their wedding. it’s not long to wait.

Many congratulations!

Don’t announce it, tell your brother quietly. If you’re worried about the drinking thing just make something up like you’re on antibiotics so can’t.

I'd try and not announce it too.

Unless drinking in your family is a big thing, it's likely that no-one will say anything if you aren't. It's really not as big of a deal as it used to be.

We had a works night out a couple of weeks ago, all paid for by the company, and barely anyone drunk! I think there were 2 bottles of wine between 15 people!

In a social setting I prefer to not drink nowadays so I can chat to people.

The alcohol free drinks are pretty good nowadays as well, so you could have a G&T or beer without any alcohol in them.

Unfortunately I had a MC at 12 weeks and then attended a family wedding a few days later. MIL had been asked not to tell anyone I was pg but clearly had as lots of people came to congratulate me. I had a quiet cry in the toilets and was then accused of "attention seeking"
Its not hard to not drink but look like you are, take a sip and hang onto the same glass for ages or get a "gin and tonic" without the gin

I agree, a family member’s pregnancy is completely separate to a wedding. I think you are ok OP. At only 8 weeks I’d only tell family personally.

I never did. I told people straight away. I didn't feel the need to hide any pregnancy losses though and was comfortable sharing if that happened, so felt no need to wait.

Congratulations! I wouldn’t announce anything until I have had at least the 12w scan to know all is fine.

Go and talk to your brother and the bride. Tell them the situation and what you're thinking, but that you're happy to wait till after their wedding if they want so you don't steal their thunder.

Job done, everyone happy

Don’t most people wait until the 12 week scan before announcing a pregnancy?

It’s precious to care about this sort of thing.

Perhaps, But many people DO care.

Is it really worth finding out that your brother and new sister-in-law do care about this sort of thing, and risk of upsetting them? Just for the sake of waiting two weeks before announcing a pregnancy?

I don’t think it’s worth it.

I think because the announcement is so early it does look a little like muscling in. Normally people wouldn’t tell family this early, as it is still pretty risky. The fact they are going against convention to make an early announcement feels intentional. If the wedding wasn’t there, would they tell people? Probably not.

I think having people guess/make comments at the wedding would be worse than just telling them now.

But either way, I don't really understand the 'stealing the attention' thing anyway.

I think it's more that it's too early to let everyone know.

My sil announced her pregnancy at my dds birthday party and it was all anyone talked about the whole afternoon. I've never forgiven her 🤣🤣

I'd tell your brother and SIL now. But no one else. Simply so they are prepared in case the armchair detectives put 2 and 2 together and realise you are looking peaky or that glass of wine doesn't seem to be going down or you've turned down the shots your family always does or just simply interrogating you as women must want to have babies.

(That is how people found out about my second... I didn't say anything they guessed what my illness was!)