Pregnancy announcement before brothers wedding

This. You can drink on most antibiotics. It’s a terrible excuse and screams I’m pregnant. Just get tonics that look like G&Ts

Of course you wait until after the wedding. People will suspect if they notice you’re not drinking but you just say you’re on antibiotics. Plenty won’t believe you but they will know that you’re not saying anything because of your brothers special day.

I had a similar scenario in the run up to a close friend’s wedding. There was no way I was going to announce before their day. Even more so had it been a family member.

I don't understand it either.
Brides/grooms must be terribly fragile or just underwhelming, as the simplest things upstage them at their weddings 🤦🏾‍♀️.

Everyone will have congratulated the OP and moved on by the time the wedding comes round. And weddings are meant to be joyous occasions for everyone.

I've never been to a wedding where I've spent the day mooning over the bride amd groom. I've always managed to celebrate the couple while catching up with folks, meeting new people, eating/drinking and being merry.

It’s when the wedding becomes a chance for all the family you’ve not seen in person since you’ve told to them come and congratulate you, it takes the celebration of the wedding into a celebration of someone else’s pregnancy. Guests fault not the pregnant person mind but same outcome.

Id start complaining of toothache now and materialise a dentist appointment where they give you some antibiotics that state you can't drink and take them.

I don't think it's as much that importance is given to drinking, it's that it's a sign of pregnancy in women of a certain age who usually drink.
If a man said "I've got a headache today so am avoiding alcohol" noone would give it a second thought. If a woman of the age to be pregnant said the same there will be at least some people suspecting she's pregnant.

Don't tell them now. Surely you'd wait until 12 weeks anyway? It will look as if you can't bear for your brother to have the attention on him if you announce it now.
12 weeks is considered safe. Hopefully everything will be fine but if you did miscarry you'd have to say that to quite a few people and that's not fun.
Just leave it and a couple of weeks after the wedding you can share your happy news
I would be pissed off if someone close announced their pregnancy just days before my wedding.

I have to agree that it's not appropriate to deliver a big announcement like that at someone else's event. However, just mentioning it to family around the same time, I don't see the issue. It's almost like people in some families only have the mental capacity to process one event at a time.

Well it’s not that it has to be a secret, sometimes it’s about control. I would tell people I had a miscarriage. I think I would find it harder to have to go round all the people I told I was pregnant and I have to say that I’m not anymore. That’s a personal choice though, but I definitely don’t think it means pregnancy loss should be hushed up.

I think the not drinking is quite a lame excuse, there are so many non alcoholic drinks about these days and lots of people don’t drink as much as they once did. Saying you will “announce” it makes it seem like are you are doing for attention especially as it’s very early.

Agree. It’s absolutely baffling.

Just buy a coke or lemonade, or something like shleor if they sell it. Noones paying close attention to what others are drinking.

I’m so sorry you lost the pregnancy.

It is mind boggling how much importance is given to drinking, that people have to do such subterfuge just to get through a wedding.

He wanted to announce it during his speech. It wasn’t a hard aggressive no, just an on balance we would prefer it if you didn’t. We thought, we are only getting married once, you will still be pregnant tomorrow and it was before 12 weeks (my consideration, not theirs, but still). We get on fine, it wasn’t nasty, and we were very, very happy for them. Still are.

If you’re going to mention it do it in a low key way that doesn’t involve some big announcement on an occasion that’s meant to be about your brother and his wife. Personally I would get your husband to step up on the alcohol front and do whatever is required to mask the fact you’re not drinking until you get to twelve weeks and then the wedding will be gone and you can announce your pregnancy properly.

No do not announce it before the wedding! You don't even have to let anyone know you aren't drinking. If you get a glass of wine or prosecco, just quietly swap with your partner when he's finished. At the table have them close together and get him to drink evenly out them both. For drinks just get whatever you'd normal have if it's a soft drink without the alcohol or get a non alcoholic kooperberg and ask them to put it in a glass.

Definitely don’t do this!

After 12 weeks being the norm. Why does everyone have to have a reason for not drinking alcohol. Does everyone drink such copious amounts normally that everyone notices.

I had a similar experience, someone commented that I wasn't drinking. I told them I was on strong antibiotics, drinking on them would make me very ill to really shut them up I made reference that it was an undercarriage infection 😂

Also at another event we did the wine glass swap. Zero alcohol beer in a glass, imaginary gin and tonic.

I'd keep quiet until after the wedding, you can do it 💪

I'd just tell them you're pregnant. You don't need to do a big announcement. They are your family and should be happy for you. I dont think it will overshadow their day. You being pregnant won't be the big deal you think it is ( to others). Just tell them.

Firstly congrats on your pregnancy! I must agree with PP’s that you should announce your pregnancy so close to the wedding OP. My SIL did this before her brothers wedding - it stole the focus from the bride and groom and was the thing that family talk about rather than the wedding 7 years on.
People really aren’t that interested in how much someone drinks. If you really must have a mixer in a fancy glass and decline rounds 🤷🏻‍♀️

Why did you say no to your bil?

To be honest, these days you don’t need to come up with an excuse for not drinking. Many people enjoy zero alcohol beverages or are on a health kick. Just say that.

Do not announce before or even worse, on the day. Wait until a week after the wedding.

Yes the ‘antibiotics’ story just makes people assume you are pregnant unless you are someone that has to take them often.

The best strategy is to say nothing, order alcohol free drinks when you are able to (lemonade in a gin glass etc) and then if someone hands you an alcoholic drink say thanks and then accidentally leave it on a table after 5 mins or I used to nip to the toilet with my glass in hand and pour it down the sink! Then after an hour or two you can say you are switching to soft drinks for a while because you feel a bit tipsy. Because everyone will have seen you drink they won’t be thinking you are pregnant.

I would hold off till after the wedding and 12 week scan.

Then it’s even more good news and doesn’t detract from the wedding/couple.